


The Medicine Wheel

by Little_Writings



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: ANYHOW, Also Jessica is so mean I'd probably cry if she breathed in my direction, Also VV important!!, Ashley and Chris are here as a couple bc ima sellout, F/M, I am not meaning to give off the idea that Native American beliefs are of one single mythology, I apologize in advance if that is the case I've worked hard to keep that from happening, Josh is my son do not hurt him, LMAO, This writing is vv old, and doesn't exhibit my current writing abilities, and meanings and symbolism will be gained from different groups, but I hurt him alot, but this story's lore will be made up of different ideas shared at least similarly among groups, if it appears offensive in any way please let me know, just to let you know, thank you, thank you!!, that is not the case, this story is made up of different ideas from different groups
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2018-10-28 06:13:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 43,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10825425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Writings/pseuds/Little_Writings
Summary: Josh sat down quietly with Sam beside him and his heart racing.Despite this, he remained quiet only showing any sign of emotion when the door opened to reveal the so-called gifted therapist.A man in his early sixties who was balding with the only remaining hairs along the side of his head. His wrinkles shifted to allow a smile to creep onto his lips as he sat in front of Josh.He tapped his hands on the desk and reached out an inviting handshake. "Good morning Joshua, I'm Doctor Hill.  Samantha here thinks I will make an exceptional therapist regarding your latest dilemma."He returned the handshake and dipped his head in a silent greeting.Something about the way Doctor Hill spoke left Josh's mind blank. It was...unsettling to say the least.Doctor Hill leaned back in his seat and lifted up a clipboard with a pen clearly in view. But it wasn't what he was holding that left Josh cold it was what he said."So Joshua why don't we start with you telling me all about your sisters' deaths?"





	1. Moving Day

"Oh...is this a dream?" Chris gave a dramatic look at the university before turning his head towards Josh. "I never thought I'd see it."

"You poor tortured soul." Josh gave a comedic grin before opening the car door. Snow painted the ground and cascaded from the clouds towards the pair of friends. Their truck was nearly covered in it but due to Chris's desperate use of the windshield wipers they could still see through the front window. "Alright come on get out."

"I've nearly gotten attached to this seat though." Chris sunk deeper into the cushion. "You're going to have to help me out, man."

"Are you kidding?" Josh's eyes glimmered with disbelief as he scoffed and went towards his friend's side of the car.

"Hey what's holding you two up?" He turned his head to find Sam already with a cardboard box placed firmly in her hands. His smile couldn't help but widen as he saw her with that radiant face that seemed to stand out in the dark snowy area.

"This loser!" He pulled Chris out who stumbled clumsily to his feet.

"You're breaking my heart." Chris looked up at Josh and couldn't help but start snickering. "Alright, alright I'll get to work."

"You know that doesn't mean taking a nap after half an hour though right?" He gave a doubtful look to Chris who nodded with a confident look on his face.

"Of course I do!" He stuffed his hands into his pockets. "I mean at least this time I do."

"I'll be keeping you to those words you know." He narrowed his eyes at Chris who looked rather nervous at the idea.

"I'll probably get into a lot of trouble then." Josh rolled his eyes and let out a small laugh as he started walking towards Sam. As they met halfway she set down the box and wrapped her arms around him in an affectionate hug to which he returned.

"Hey, Joshie." As she pulled back he couldn't help but crinkle his nose at the name.

"Is that really the best you can do?" He raised a curious eyebrow as her cheeks reddened with embarrassment. "I know you can do better."

"Give me credit that's good enough right? You'd totally call something that...yeah people totally would do that." She nodded with consideration. "Besides it's not like yours is any better."

"Sammy is the best nickname ever." He reached down and grabbed her box. The word 'Books' was scribbled sloppily on the top. "It's genius."

"Then what ideas do you have for me to call you?" They strolled towards the back of his pickup truck where Chris was actually sorting out the boxes between the two of them.

"Okay well I can't actually think of anything...but I'm sure there's something better." She narrowed her eyes and leaned towards him.

"I'll just have to think of something then?" He felt heat grow around his cheeks and his heart speed up greatly before she pulled down his beanie over his eyes. She let out a loud amount of laughter causing a little snort to escape her. He lifted up the cloth of his beanie and looked up to find Sam red-faced and flustered at the noise.

"Aw, Sammy!" Her cheeks darkened as he couldn't help but laugh. Even Chris turned and giggled quietly to himself. "That was adorable."

She lowered her face to the bottom of the pickup truck. "You aren't ever going to let me live that down are you?"

"But that was so cute Sammy why would I?" Josh patted her shoulder and grabbed another box. "Who would want to forget something like that?"

Chris slid her a moving box and set one on the edge before hopping off. "Maybe moving these boxes will help you forget...and get me out of working so much."

"Chris you slacker!" Sam snapped. He shrugged his shoulders humorously before wrapping his fingers around the edges of the cardboard. He took off quickly towards the dorms with an amused look in his eyes. She huffed and took one of the boxes and walked alongside Josh.

"So when are the others getting here Sammy?" He adjusted his grip and looked to her still-red-face.

"Uh...well I know Mike, and Emily will at least be here around two with their stuff. And Matt is going to stop by and help, but Ash and Jessica I've got no clue. Hannah and Beth will be here a bit earlier right?"

"Yeah, Hannah told me she wanted to go practice tennis a bit just to get some work in, and that she'd bring Beth with her."

"Yeah I don't expect to have Beth doing any sports. She'll probably still be asleep out on the bleachers or something." She gave Josh a smug look before continuing. "You know now that I think about it, you'd probably be doing that too wouldn't you?"

"Well last time I checked I was good at soccer, but tennis...I think I'm about as good as you."

"Oh that's just harsh! I could beat you any day at tennis." They approached the doors to the dormitories and nearly sighed with relief as they already felt the heat from inside. Josh set down his boxes and grabbed onto the door handles. As he opened it he gave a comedic bow and gestured for her to enter.

"M'lady?" Her smile widened and she dipped her head with gratitude before waiting for him on the other side.

"Do you want a fedora along with those words?"

"Now, as much as I'm willing to bet I could totally pull it off I'd rather stick to the beanies." He shrugged. "I know, I know I'm sure you're just dying to see me in one."

She nodded with a bit of delight shading over her eyes. With the light now falling over the two of them Josh couldn't help but notice how beautiful her eyes were. For a little bit it nearly left his mind blank as her charming smile made the colors pop out even more. "Yeah I don't know what I'll do without it."

A little chuckle escaped him and he barely managed to think of words out of such short notice. "I'm sure you'll survive."

"Yeah, but just one thing seems to bother me." She folds her lips as though she's thinking.

"What's that?" He cocked his head to the side in a slightly confused manner as they stopped at the elevator.

"Since when could you ever pull off a beanie?"


	2. A Misstep

As the two of them exchanged comedic words they heard Chris's distressed voice once they arrived at his and Josh's dorm.

"I don't know why I was in such a hurry...you have the key." He pressed his forehead against the doorframe and slid down to the carpet. "Joshie please?"

"Only Sammy can call me that." Josh nudged Chris with his foot as he set down the boxes. In the corner of his eye, he noticed the prideful smile on Sam's face.

"Am I not special enough for you?" Chris gave an overly-dramatic voice as he clutched his chest with raised eyebrows.

He didn't answer the question but gave a sarcastic grin as he slid the key into the hole and slowly creaked open the door. He took his moving boxes back and entered the darkening room where the only light was the pale sunlight slipping in through the windows.

"How majestic." Sam chuckled as she stepped in. "Isn't it the most elegant place you've ever seen?"

"Oh yeah, I bet royals lived here." Sam snickered a bit at his words as he set the boxes down on one of the bare beds.

"Do you know your roommate?" He turned to Sam who's eyes widened with a bit of excitement.

"I got Hannah! Did she not tell you?"

"No, although that doesn't surprise me very much. She probably figured you'd tell me." He shrugged and opened one of the boxes revealing a set of pillow cushions.

"She's probably just been too busy with tennis. She's been really obsessed with getting into one of those big tournaments."

"Like 'big' as in TV big or 'big' as in A for effort?" Chris chimed in as he threw a set of plaid bedding to Josh. It collapsed on top of his head with his strands of hair colliding out of place. He couldn't even be mad cause soon he heard Sam's muffled laughter.

He always found himself adoring her voice. It was such a sweet voice nearly like honey in a sort of way, but at the same time still calming and sincere. He could listen to it for hours, and it always seemed to bring a smile to his face. It was one of the many things that made Sam far more special to him than the others.

She lifted up the bedding covering his face and her smile widened seeing all the shaggy portions of hair now out of place with his hat now sadly sprawled out on the carpet. "Your hair looks ridiculous...ridiculous but cute." He could feel his cheeks growing a bit red as she drew down the bedding.

"Positively precious." Josh turned to look at Chris who gave a little wink before continuing with the unpacking.

Sam let out a tiny laugh before attempting to stand on her tip toes to reach the very top of his head. "Here let me try to fix it."

"Sammy, you can't even reach me at your height." He felt his smile widen as he noticed her extensive amount of struggle. "Don't strain yourself."

"J-Just kneel down or something!" Sam's face grew a bright red as she became much more aware of their large height difference. Sam was barely 5'5, easily titled 'tiny' compared to Josh who stood at 6'3. It always made for interesting situations when Sam was a bit to prideful to admit when help was needed. "I can do it!"

He shrugged with a warm feeling growing in his chest as he crouched down a significant amount for her. 

She crinkled her nose and narrowed her eyes as she saw just how much he bent down. 

He chuckled seeing her flustered face before she began to sort out the messy parts of his sable brown hair. 

Her hands were soft and the movement was careful as she moved the strands into place. In a way, it was possibly odd how careful she was being. But for the most part, it was amusing the way she narrowed her eyes or grumbled with frustration if one came out of order.

After a few minutes of Chris jumping in to mess it up, Sam snapping at Chris, and Josh losing his balance more than one time she took a step back with triumph. "Are you positive you're done?" 

He gave her a smirk as hints of doubt peered up into her eyes. As he stood up she shot forward in an attempt to continue fixing the hair. He grabbed onto her wrists and pulled backward without any thought. It was just a little mistake. Just a single misstep of Sam's feet.

He felt his back slam against the wall with the support of his hands pressing against it. Their hands ended up being entwined. Her eyes were wide with a bright red blush drowning the rest of her face. Josh was sure he was nearly exactly the same as those luminous eyes were merely an inch or two from him. 

Although he had numerous thoughts and words bursting through his mind none of this seemed to escape to be said. His heart was feeling as though it was about to explode and he couldn't feel anything except for Sam's hands around his own.

Sam opened her mouth to speak but the only things that escaped were a jumble of stutters and mixtures of what should be sentenced. He gave an awkward smile and barely managed to say a few words.

"Not our smoothest move is it?" A little chuckle escaped him and he noticed how Sam seemed to relax a bit as the words were spoken.

"N-No but I'm pretty sure we could do worse." She looked up with a little shimmer growing in her eyes. He noticed how her grip on his hands did anything but loosen, and he...wasn't bothered by that at all.

It only made the fuzzy feeling in his chest intensify.

All those words that were once sprinting through his mind at unimaginable speed seemed to fade away. This wasn't like him. He wasn't ever a blushing idiot, or unable to think of any remarks. Maybe Chris but...not Josh. 

But this always seemed to happen with Sam. 

She was the only one who could make him into this idiot, or keep him tossing and turning all night. Finding a way into his thoughts no matter how hard he tried. 

And this only made things worse, as now he started to wonder if Sam...was dealing with these troubles too.

Maybe that was why the two of them were leaning closer towards one another.


	3. A Moment

And yet as soon as the moment began, it was over, Chris's voice breaking apart what almost felt inevitable.

Unfortunately, it seemed it wasn't. 

"Hey uh...guys?" Chris peered forward, stifling back a nervous sort of laughter.

"Please help me unpack." Chris quietly said. "There's like...a lot of stuff." 

Josh blinked a few times realizing what just happened. His face became drowned with a bright red, and Sam's quiet laughter did little to help. 

Chris patted his shoulder and chuckled. "Don't worry my lips are sealed." He snickered as he continued with a 'witty' remark. "Unlike you two." 

Sam's eyes widened and she rammed her fist into his back as he headed towards his box again. 

Josh held back laughter as he watched Chris gasp dramatically before collapsing onto the carpet. "Oh, no...I've been injured. Looks like I can't do any work now~." 

Sam snickered and took a step back before returning to the moving boxes. He still noticed the same small smile on her face. It was a warm smile that he gladly returned. There was now a sudden warmth between them, and the affection he had for Sam seemed to nearly seep out as easily as any regular old word he said. 

"Chris get up." Josh looked down at his friend who was still sprawled out on the carpet. "I'll pay for lunch later if you do." 

He groaned and sat up with his hands gripping the sides of the second bed. "You had me at pay." 

Josh watched Chris slowly get to his feet and began to remove the contents before returning to undo his own set. 

Sam still seemed as flustered as Josh for even just a little glance made the heat return to her cheeks. Surely she was thinking the same as him. What exactly did that mean? Was it just a heat of the moment? Or...was it something more? 

Despite most of him keeping blank without any responses a little voice in the back of his head was saying yes. He wanted it to be something more. He longed for it to be something more. But as it was...simply getting to see her smile or her eyes light up with delight was enough. Just seeing her happy, that was it. That's all he needed. 

As he unpacked a set of old dusty books he heard a little gasp from Sam. "What?" He peered forward to find a photograph. 

It was Josh, Chris, Sam, Hannah, and Beth all lined up together preparing for school. From fourth grade to be exact. Sam's hair was clipped back with a bright big bow as she grabbed both of Josh's and Hannah's hands with a beaming smile on her face. 

"Look at how adorable and tiny you are Josh!" She giggled quietly as her gaze drifted to Chris. "Oh, I never thought I'd never see another picture."

"What?" Chris lifted his head up with a raised eyebrow. 

"Another picture of Chris and his braces." A devious look came to her eyes as Chris shot forward instantly attempting to grab the photograph from her hands. 

"Burn it!" He yelled. "Sam throw it out the window I don't care! Just get rid of it!" 

"They're so precious though." She turned to Josh quickly. "What do you think?" 

His fingers coiled around the wooden frame as he looked up to see Chris's pleading look. "It's going on my nightstand for sure."

Chris groaned and sloppily waved his arms in protest. "Joshie please, I thought we were like brothers." 

"Why would I ever get rid of such a work of art?" 

"Because I want you to." 

"No, that's not really going to cut it." He set it on the nightstand, stifling back laughter as he saw a young hyperactive Chris. "I'm going to have to keep this treasure." 

"You're so mean to me." Chris trudged back to the bed and glared at the picture. "I'll get rid of it somehow." 

"I don't doubt it." 

As Chris returned to his work Sam stood on her tiptoes and whispered softly in Josh's ear ."Don't let anything happen to that picture." She could hardly finish without little bits of laughter sneaking out. "It's a national treasure." 

"I would never, at least not without everyone else seeing it first." He replied back with a quieter voice that only Sam would be able to hear. "I mean, Chris is interesting and all but...I don't wanna lose the only picture with an adorable tiny Sam in a bow." 

A bit of amusement came to her face as she looked back at the picture and gave a little sigh of comfort at it. "I don't want to forget when I didn't have to stand on my tiptoes to reach you." 

"I'd pick you up anytime Sammy." 

"You would huh?" She smirked and narrowed her eyes, nearly as if she was challenging him. "I'd like to see you try." 

"Is that a challenge?" He bent down to face her eye to eye. She crinkled her nose with embarrassment but still continued to speak with a confident voice. 

"If you're up for it." 

"Just say the word, and you'll be soaring."


	4. Sisters

After an hour or two of jokes and Chris trying to get rid of the photograph Josh's phone vibrated in the back of his pocket. He snatched it out finding a text from Beth flashing bright on his screen.

"Hey dork come say hi to your sisters" 

Josh smirked a bit and gestured to Sam and Chris. "Hannah and Beth are out, come on!" 

"Hannah!" Sam's eyes lightened as she heard her best friend's name. "Guess she finished practicing." 

"I'm pretty sure Beth hauled her out." Josh chuckled. "Knowing Hannah she would've spent the entire day there if she could."

"Why does she like that sport so much?" Chris asked with a perplexed look. "Why are sports so well liked? They just make you sweaty!" 

"Chris...you're lucky you're cute." Sam patted him on the shoulder lightly. He narrowed his eyes with his mind processing the words before shooting back with a 'horribly insulted' face. 

"Josh did she just call me what I think she just called me?" As Josh glanced at his friend he smiled seeing the way Chris's cheeks were puffed out in a fake outrage. 

"What're you thinking she called you Cochise?" He gaped open his mouth to speak before Sam answered for him. 

"Not the sharpest tool in the shed." She shrugged and gave a supportive grin towards him. "I don't mean any offense dear, just a bit of a statement...I guess." 

"A very rude one!" He folded his arms across his chest. "Joshie how can you stand there and let this injustice happen." 

"Oh alright, I'll stand up for you." He looked to Sam and spoke leisurely. "Sam please stop lowering teasing poor little Chris. That's my job." 

"Hey-" Chris took a deep breath and tilted his head from side to side. "Well I guess if it's going to be anyone," He swung his arm around Josh and hung on him as if he couldn't support himself. "might as well be my bestie." He widened his eyes and giggled a bit at his own humor. "I'm so funny." 

Sam and Josh exchanged amused glances but kept quiet as they exited the dormitory doors. 

He felt arms clasp around his side with excited bits of laughter filling the air. He looked down to find his tiny siblings. Beth had a thermos of coffee pressed against Josh's spine and Hannah had her tennis racket around her back in a little bag. He smiled brightly as they took a few steps back. While Hannah did a cheerful yelp to Sam before leaping at her Beth kept calm and still. 

"How much have you got done?" She asked softly. 

"We've unpacked about four of the six we originally brought up." 

"I brought my stuff." Hannah pointed towards their silver vehicle. "I didn't bring much though." Hannah despite being a year younger than the rest managed to graduate before winter break due to her gaining enough credits. Beth was still a grumpy senior. 

"Are Mike and Emily not here yet?" Beth looked around curiously. "I would think Emily would be dying to head out, and get this over with." 

Chris got a strange glint in his eyes as he spoke. "I'm sure she and Mike are busy." He winked at Josh and proceeded to jab him in the arm. "If you catch my drift-" 

"I 'catch your drift'." 

"Okay well, I doubt Ashley and Jessica are doing that Chris." Beth can't help but crack a smile though. "Why don't you text Ashley?" 

"I did a while ago, she's probably asleep though." He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "It is kind of early I guess." 

"Sleep is for the weak." Hannah proclaimed. She rammed into Josh's side nearly as a sort of sign of strength. He hardly moved maybe exhaling a bit harsher.

"Oh I can hardly keep my balance you're so strong." His monotone voice made Hannah let out muffled laugh and caused Sam's smile widen. Beth took a sip of her steaming coffee before speaking. 

"She's stronger than me with these 'noodle arms.'" She raised her thin arm up but most of it was covered by a thick dark grey sweater. "They're noodle-like I promise." 

"Well maybe if you played some tennis with me you wouldn't have noodle arms." 

"Oh please, I'd rather play competitive soccer with Josh." 

"Beth you would lose so bad you would cringe at the sight of a soccer ball." An amused smile grew on his lips. "It would traumatize you." 

"I know but Hannah would be smack-talking me the entire time. She already does it while I'm trying to nap on the bleachers." 

"I can't be sarcastic with my coach if she's beating me, Beth." Hannah peered towards her twin with confidence flaring in her eyes. "That's why you're always there." 

"Don't get too sassy there Hannah." Sam set a steady hand on her friend's shoulder. "Save it for Em." 

"Let's not get Emily in a bad mood actually." Chris pointed out. "She's kind of scary." 

Josh gave a slightly confused look to Chris who tensed his shoulders. "Whatever you say, Cochise."

Sam made her way closer to Josh as Hannah and Beth began comparing to see who's arms were more 'noodle-like.' "Are you really that competitive in soccer?" 

"I wouldn't like to say I am personally, but yeah I probably am." He shrugged. 

"Would you go easy on me?" 

"It depends, are you good at soccer?" 

"Well I mean, not soccer but I ice-skated once before." 

"How'd that go?" He turned his head to face Sam who managed to muster the embarrassing words. 

"I rammed into a wall more than a few times. You ever tried ice-skating?" 

"Well, I can stay on my own two feet at least. Hannah and Beth used to make me drive them to the rink when I first got my license." 

"You should teach me when we've got free-time." 

"What like a date or something?" Josh asked. "It'd probably end with us heading to the hospital cause we sprained our ankles from falling." 

"Well, I don't know that'd be a fun way to end a date don't you think?" 

If I was with you it would be. The words slipped out into his mind but never made it past his mouth. "It depends on who I'm with I guess." 

He felt Sam's smallest finger intertwine with his, and heat spread to his cheeks. There was a soft, nearly loving glaze in her eyes now. "If I was with you I bet it'd be fun."


	5. Stairwell

"You'll still visit the house right?" Hannah peered closer to Josh as they entered the building once again. They all had sets of boxes once again to Chris's dismay but this time heading towards Sam and Hannah's room. 

"Of course." Josh chuckles. "Just give me a text and I'll drop by." 

"Really? That easy?" Her eyes widened with a sort of shock. 

"Well, why wouldn't I?" Josh asks. "You're my itty-bitty sister after all." He noticed how her cheeks puffed out as if he was embarrassing her. In all honesty, though, he kind of was just to tease. 

"Well, I'm sure you'd be busy with all the work and all." She shrugged. "It's not like I'd be mad or anything." 

"The work can wait a bit for you y'know." He gave her a warm smile and kindness softened in her eyes. 

Hannah's voice cut through their conversation. "Uh...I don't think we're all going to fit in the elevator." She huffed with annoyance now twirling around the strings of her voice. "Josh, would you mind taking the stairs with me?" 

He nodded slowly making his way towards the stairwell entrance alongside Hannah. As the rest of the group left with the elevator Hannah and Josh began to stroll up the stairs. "So guess what I brought Josh?" 

"What-" The idea appeared in his head and he groaned with heat rushing to his cheeks. 

She squealed with excitement. "All the questionnaires our hearts could desire!" She hopped a bit in place. "Tonight we're gonna go to the coffee-shop and if I even have to drag you I will! I won't stop until I get an answer!" Her voice was slightly desperate, but her voice became overly dramatic. "Are Sam and Josh really meant for each other~?" 

"Hannah-" 

"I will burn down towns if you two aren't Josh." She mimicked the sound of crying. "There must be something wrong with the magazine if you aren't." 

"Uh...yeah about the whole Sam and I thing-" 

"Did something happen?" Her eyes widened and a smile grew stretching from ear to ear. 

"Y-yeah." He nodded carefully. 

"Tell me right now!" She raised her voice with determination. 

"W-We uh...had a moment...?" 

Hannah let out a shriek and tripped on one of the steps. Magazines sprawled out onto the concrete floor, but only happy sounds escaped his sister. "It's happening!" She squealed. "It's fate!" She reached for one of the magazines and held it tightly like a small child. "The questionnaire will confirm this." 

He let out an awkward chuckle before kneeling down and beginning up the rest of them. 

"So what was it like? " She looked like a small child just given their first gift. "How'd it happen?" 

"Just a little mistake, we tripped and it just...kind of felt like something was there...it was nothing I'm sure-"

"Uh...no no no! Sam wouldn't have let that last for a second if it was anyone else! You're special!" She clapped her hands dropping the only magazine she had grabbed. "I've seen the way she looks at you." 

"H-How does she look at me?" Josh raised a curious eyebrow as he leaned towards Hannah. "It's a good kind of look right?" 

"Duh!" She snickered. "She looks at you the way you look at her!" 

Despite the rather blank response, he did know what she meant almost instantly. Josh looked at Sam with complete and utter adoration. His voice got softer when he spoke to her, and his eyes always tended to have a certain brightness to it. It was like looking at the sunshine that wrapped around you in an embrace with a warming and loving feeling circulating through your entire body. 

If Sam looked at Josh that way then perhaps it did mean something. 

"R-really?" He dropped the magazines into the box with a small smile appearing on his face. "Does she really?" 

"I wouldn't lie about something that serious!" She let out a giddy giggle. "Oh, this is so fantastic! I can't believe it!" She grabbed onto his shoulders firmly with a determined fire in her eyes. "You better tell me every detail at the coffee house Josh or so help me-" 

"I will, I will don't worry." He let out a bit of nervous laughter as Hannah grabbed the box once more. "I wouldn't dare dream of defying the frightening Hannah." 

"I am a fearsome beast-" 

"Who drops onto the ground and squeals." He glanced towards her and she huffed. "I'm so scared, can't you tell?" 

"You should be! I'm a nightmare among nightmares!" She imitated a roaring sound only to be cut off by her coughing and clearing of her throat. "Okay well maybe not." 

"Yeah, I didn't think so." 

As he opened the door Hannah couldn't help but burst out into laughter. "I'm working up on my act!" 

"Oh yeah, that will take a bit of work if you ask me." He followed alongside her until they came to Sam and Hannah's room. 

"It's so...empty," Hannah admitted. Sam, Chris, and Beth already occupied the area unloading what they had. "Y'know aside from all the people in here." 

"How observant of you." Chris pointed out. "I never would've guessed that people were in here." 

"Oh Chris, that doesn't surprise me." Hannah's eyes filled with triumph as Chris gasped. It did end in him letting out quiet laughter though.

Hannah slipped her box of magazines underneath the bed nervously glancing around. "Do you think anyone noticed?" 

"If you don't want anyone checking it just tell them not to." Josh pointed out. "It's not that hard." 

She folded her lips and furrowed her brow. "If they see my magazines my noodle arms may or may not be able to fend them off!" 

"Okay well, I don't have noodle arms." He patted her on the head gently. "I won't let them see your precious artifacts." 

"You better not!" 

He chuckled. "Calm down it'll be fine." 

"Hopefully." She gave a smug smile. "But you know what would be better than fine?" 

"You making the moves on Sammy!" Her eyes lit up with delight. "Come on!" 

"Hannah-" 

"Quit holding back! She clearly feels the same way!"

"Can we finish unpacking the stuff at least before you go all crazy and obsessive over this?" He gave a worried sigh. "I'm not the best at that kind of thing you know." 

She offered a vibrant thumbs up that did little to boost his confidence."Oh, Josh don't worry, the Love Doctor's got it all planned out~."


	6. Last Load

As he began to unpack Josh couldn't help but cringe as Hannah gave him words of 'advice.' "Just go for it I've been waiting for you two since forever." She nearly sprawled out on the bed to prevent him from unpacking. "Please?" 

"Hannah this is your stuff, I don't have to help you." 

"Y'know Ashley is just as bad as me." She huffed. "If you don't do it now and she finds out she'll rip you apart." 

"Really? Ash?" Josh folded his lips with a bit of shock. "Is that how you two became friends?" 

"Well it is a good conversation starter I'm going to admit." Her muddy brown eyes glimmered with determination. "But don't worry I've only told her about this thing." 

He lifted Hannah up and continued unpacking. "I wouldn't think you'd be putting that on your resume or anything." 

"They're appreciate my obsession skills excuse you." She narrowed her eyes. "Besides I'm sure most of us at least think you'd be cute." 

"I'm not having this conversation Hannah. Coffee shop remember?" 

She placed her hands on her hips with annoyance but nodded. "Fine, but I'm going to be extra worse because of that." 

"I'll survive-" He feels the soft fabric of a sweater wrap around his arm. As he turns his head he's not surprised in the slightest to find Beth. She had a pleading look as she gave a hopeful smile to him. 

"What is it?" 

"I was wondering if you'd be able to help Sam and I with carrying some stuff up?" 

"I thought Hannah didn't bring much though." 

"Well what she did bring was heavy and big." She glared at Hannah and groaned. "Please?" 

He nodded of course and followed his sister down the steps towards the outside. Snowflakes dribbled down his skin now and the cold attempted to pierce his skin. He looked towards Hannah's vehicle and saw Sam waiting for the two. She looked distracted though as the uniquely designed snowflakes tickled her cheeks.

Her smile widened as she saw the two with the light in her eyes greatly increasing. A light shade of scarlet surfaced on her cheeks as she saw Josh walking beside Beth. "Did you tell him exactly what he's going to be carrying?" 

"Two Bookshelves?" Beth gave him a small smile. 

"Regular sized right?" He didn't even bother asking why she didn't tell him. It didn't really matter considering he was already here. 

"Yeah!" Her eyes widened and her her white teeth shined as he headed closer towards the trunk. "Thank you Josh! You're the best!" She hugged him tightly with her flimsy sweater sleeves. "These are the last things anyways for now!" 

He hauls out the two that are set on top of each other and sets them against the back bumper. He squats down and wraps his fingers underneath the bottom. The freezing cold shoots through his body as his skin touches the concrete. He would've shot back but held himself back. Instead, he slowly lifted up the boxed bookshelves and pressed them against his chest. 

"Well aren't you just a superhero aren't you Joshie?" Sam chuckled a small bit and reached out for another box. 

"I do my best." He gives a self-assured smile and watches them grab onto the final boxes. She led them back to the door and barely managed to get the door open for the two. He gave his sibling a thankful dip of his head. 

"Hey Sammy, did you bring your viola?" He turned his gaze towards Sam who gave a curious look at the mention of it. 

"Yeah, what about it? Wanting some lessons?" She let out a bit of charming laughter at her own words. 

"I don't think viola is meant for me I'm afraid Sammy. But I just remembered how nice you play it." His smile grew a bit more as the heat around her cheeks intensified. "I was just wondering if we were going to get to hear it again." 

"Oh what a charmer~." She cooed in a soft voice. "I'm swooning already." 

"I can tell, few can withstand my smooth moves." 

As they approached the elevator Josh prepared to set his objects down, but Beth shook her head. "Oh no whatever can get me to stop carrying that I'm going to do." She patted him on the shoulder and pressed the button aiming upwards. 

"It's not that heavy Beth." Sam remarked. "If I can carry it pretty easy, so can you." 

"Sam you do not have the noodle-arms that I do, they're not even noodles! They're silly string...or something!" She waved her long sweater arms in exasperation before grabbing the box once again. 

"Beth isn't the most active in the family if you can't already tell." Josh retorted. 

"I've known that for a long time Joshie." Sam looks to Beth who's voice is back to her usual-calm self. 

"I'm completely fine with being the non-sporty one in the family. I get to nap while you're playing soccer or Hannah is playing tennis! That's so much better!" Her dark amber eyes lit up with passion. "It's the greatest!" 

Sam giggled quietly as the elevator doors opened revealing nothing but tile floors and a slate grey wall. 

As they entered Beth of course volunteered to press the buttons hastily. She gave a triumphant gleam in her eyes as she watched the buttons light up. "You didn't play many sports did you Sammy?" 

"Uh...no I don't really remember taking any seriously at least." She shrugged. "I just mainly focused on my music." 

The doors parted once more showing the still-open dorm room where the group was. 

As Josh came in he set the boxes against the wall he heard Sam's silky voice. "Thanks for helping with that." 

"It's no problem, I just can't wait to get this all over with you know?" 

"Well we'll be going to the lodge on Saturday and we'll all be just able to have some fun. No worries or anything just us all together again. Just got six more days." 

He gave a little smile as he hid his hands in his pockets. "Well...a lot could happen in six days."


	7. The World

Chris collapsed onto one of the recently made beds and placed the back of his head against the wall. Sam set the final empty box by the door and smirked as Chris groaned with exasperation.

"Oh, I bet that was so hard for you." She remarked.

"It was!" His eyes widened and he pointed to Hannah. "Isn't that right?"

She shrugged and tied her hair into a short ponytail. "To be completely honest I didn't do too much, so I don't know if I should really say anything."

They'd even unloaded Sam's vehicle and the most memorable of the items they'd brought up was Sam's viola. It lay in a nearly sliver-like colored case that shined in the light by her bed.

Josh's eyes widened as he began to hear a little tapping along the floor. Muffled light voices came closer towards their room before he saw a small hand knock lightly on the open door.

"Hey, guys!" From the voice Ashley's body became visible. She and Jessica entered with bright faces and a set of coffee for the rest of them.

Chris's eyes lit up and smiled as Ashley approached him first and handed him a small cup. "Hey, how much did we miss?" She asked.

"Oh not too much, only unloading all of Sam and Hannah's room." Josh's voice was full of sarcasm as Ashley gave a slightly guilty look. Jessica shrugged and leaned against the door frame as she closed it.

"To be completely honest it was sort of on purpose." She took a sip and smiled lightly. "

"Well, you're not too different from Chris then." He folded his arms across his chest and snickered as he attempted to act strong in front of Ashley.

"I did a lot of work excuse you!" He puffed out his chest proudly but couldn't help but have a humored smile come to his face.

"If by work you mean talking about how you didn't want to do the work, then yeah." Sam sat down beside Josh before pressing her cold hands against the warm sides of her cup.

"I sorted a couple boxes, ma'am."

"Give him credit, it's more than what we did." Ashley patted Chris's shoulder with a bit of red rushing to her cheeks.

Jessica huffed. "We brought coffee Ash, we did something at least. That's more than Emily and Mike." She chuckled. "But we can all guess what they're doing." 

"What about Matt?" Ashley gave a confused look. "Is he still really practicing?"

"Well you know, football is super important to him and everything." Josh shrugged. "Whatever floats his boat."

"If he's not here by the time Mike and Em are here I'm going to be calling him." Beth frowned. "He should be focusing on more than that silly sport during winter break."

"You and Matt aren't that close why do you care?" Jessica raised a curious eyebrow as she raises her coffee to her lips.

"Well...we're going to be stuck with each other for another year, we might as well start hanging out a bit more."

"Oh how cute," Sam replied. "I think it'll be good for you to become better friends." She pulled the thin loose strands of her hair behind her ear. "You'll get along great I bet."

"I haven't got much a choice." Her eyes became clouded over with a sort of sadness. "You guys are going to be busy with college I probably won't get to see you much after the break."

Josh pulled his sister into a comforting hug and gave a kind smile. "Aw, Beth we'll make time for you."

Jessica narrowed her eyes and grabbed onto Beth's arm. "Oh quit with that gloomy attitude!" She grinned reassuringly. "Why don't we check out the gift shop or something?"

"What?"

"Well we can't go eat without the others, and the gift shop is close by. After that, we can finish moving in." She tilted her head to the side with a pleading gleam in her eyes. "How does that sound?"

"I guess that sounds alright." She nodded and looked around. "That alright with you all?"

"Course!" Josh stood up with Sam and cracked his neck carefully. "It's a time-killer I guess."

As the others stand up Sam takes a deep breath. "Do you really want to go down there?"

"If it'll make Beth feel better it's worth it." He shrugged and watched as the others flooded out of the door.

"Aw, that's adorable Joshie." Her eyes glimmered with a heavenly smile. Well...he saw it as heavenly he wasn't entirely sure if anyone else did. "You know I don't think I've ever told you this...but you're really sweet."

"Aw, Sammy how heart-warming of you to say." He nudges her lightly with his shoulder and laughs a bit. "Why you're the only one who can make me feel so loved!" Despite his comedic tone Sam did always happen to make him feel so beloved. Her presence was simply so comforting and seemed to nearly wipe away all his worries with her smile, voice, or even just...just seeing her eyes light up with that joy that he longed to give her.

"I-I'm being serious." She nervously laughed a bit. "You've always been like that!" He noticed her cheeks brightening to a pink even her bare hands seemed a bit similar to that color. "Like no matter how sad I am...you just always seem to make it all better." She furrowed her eyebrows and looked down at the ground. "That probably sounds really stupid, but...I really love having you around...you mean a lot to me."

He could feel his heart swelling with elation. His hands nearly began to tremble and he could hardly walk properly without beginning to stumble at one point or another. "S-Sammy." He could hardly talk by the way heat ran throughout his body. He barely managed to muster his words to her. "Y-you mean the w-world to me. That wasn't stupid at all."

"R-really?" She sighed and tightened her grip. "Thank goodness."

He gave a supportive grin and wrapped his arm around her farthest shoulder. "You're one of the most important people in my life... don't forget that."


	8. Bowie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a link to the song mentioned/used in the chapter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJCBYUKMvMQ

Sam and Josh caught up with the others while the elevator door hung open. Hannah lifted up her eyebrows twice nudging him with her arm. She lowered her voice quietly and stood on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear. "I totally heard all that." Her eyes shimmered with merriment.

He huffed and attempted to hide his reddening cheeks with his free hand.

"Totally meant for each other." She quietly clapped her hands with a giddy smile coming to her face. Ashley's gaze turned towards them and Hannah began to mutter in her ear.

Ashley's eyes widened as Hannah finished and she gasped. She giggled with excitement and tapped her feet on the ground, barely able to contain her excitement.

Josh sighed with relief as the doors split apart again to reveal the first floor. Hannah and Ashley exchanged enthusiastic looks.

The gift shop was a cozy little area, as in most places of course. Things like clothes, accessories, and other items were scattered about. How many actual people bought these things? Maybe a t-shirt sure...but some of these things were simply ridiculous.

Beth's eyes widened at the decorated plates. "How cute!" She grabbed onto one shooting a petrified look as it nearly slipped from her fingertips.

Sam examined a brightly colored shirt and looked at Josh comically. "Do you have school pride Joshie?"

"Not enough for that." He pointed at the shirt and lifted the coffee to his mouth. It was warm, but not as much as it had been previously. The heat began to fade and a little bit of coldness even trickled down his throat. "Bet you'd like some sunglasses though."

"Wait they have those?" She simpered. "This school's pretty intense about pride I guess. I bet they even got a beanie for you."

Josh chuckled. "That's the only way they're getting any money out of me." Before he could continue music began to ring through his ears. He knew the tune and he began to cringe as he already saw Chris's eyes lighting up.

"Oh no." He narrowed his eyes and attempted to avoid eye contact with Chris. "Not this song."

"What is it?" Sam gave a confused look before seeing Chris burst towards them with a goofy smile on his face.

"I know when to go out." Chris mimicked the singer's voice and shifted his shoulders up and down in a musical manner. He clung onto Josh's jacket with a patient smile on his face.

He groaned as he continued along with a monotone voice. "I know when to stay in."

"Josh what're you-" Before Sam could finish her question Chris threw his hands up in the air nearly dropping his drink.

"Get things done!" He swept towards Ashley and snapped his fingers in the tune of the music.

"It's...it's David Bowie." Josh folded his lips together. "Chris is a total dork for him."

"A-Are you serious?" Sam held back fits of laughter as she noticed Chris belting out the lyrics once again. "Which song is it?"

"It's called Modern Love, from uh...a dancing movie with a guy named Bacon. I don't know Chris made me watch it when we were little." He nearly shivered. "He freaks out whenever the song plays, any song by him really."

Chris spun around in one spot with Ashley watching with a confused gaze. Jessica merely ignored it unless Chris forced her to join in the dance in some irregular way.

"Come on Joshie!" He scooted back over with his fingers still rapidly snapping. "I'm standing in the wind!" Chris's eyes light up as he points to Josh. "Come on man, do it for me!" 

Josh sighed and begrudgingly did so. "But I never wave bye-bye." Sam's eyes lit up with delight as she gave a humorous applause.

"Best 'singing' I've ever heard." She patted his shoulder lightly and laughed as Chris continued on.

"But I try!" Chris yelped. They all heard Hannah speak in a bored voice.

"I try." Chris nearly squealed with happiness as he drifted towards Hannah.

"You like him too?"

"Like who?" 

"Bowie!" Chris nearly sank to the floor in shock. "How could you not know?"

"Honestly I was just kind of guessing." She shrugged and patted him on the head before continuing to look at stuffed animals.

For a moment he was nearly saddened but as the voice chimed through the room he continued 'singing.'

"Shouldn't you stop him or something?" Sam asked. "I can only imagine the torture the poor cashier is going through."

"Nah, let him have this." Josh shrugs and nearly smiles a small bit at the pure amount of energy being exerted. The smile on his face didn't waver and even though his steps were clumsy, he seemed to be enjoying himself. That really seemed to be what mattered.

"I wonder how badly innocent bystanders will be traumatized after this." Sam sighed with a face full of hilarity. "Care to take a guess?"

"They'll never get over it." Josh ran his fingers through his hair and broke through the tough strands. "It'll haunt them for the rest of their lives I bet."

"When did he start liking this guy?"

"About sixth grade maybe? We were just hanging out and we saw this one movie with him in it, and Chris got really obsessed with his wild hair. He tried to make it look like his...but Chris hasn't got long hair or anything so he just looked awful."

"Oh really? I really thought he pulled it off there for a second." She sighed. "We've all got something we're obsessed with right?" She gave him a questionable look. "You've got one too I bet."

"Uh...I guess." He crinkled his nose. "Not anything to like Chris's extent though."

"Oh really?" She took a step forward and leaned closer towards him. "What might it be?"

He pressed against the shelf already feeling his heart rate incredibly speed up. When he returned to her former position he realized how flustered he really appeared. His face was already an explosion of red with trembling hands barely able to keep their grip on the smallest thing.

Why did he always end up like this with her?

He quickly attempted to readjust himself and exhaled shakily. "I really, really like-" Before he could finish Chris's arm swung around him as he screeched out the last verse. 

"God and man don't believe in modern love!"

Josh huffed and continued on ignoring Chris's consistent giggling.

"Garth Brooks."


	9. Friends

Sam eyes widened. "T-The country guy?" She snickered. "I never took you for a fan of that." 

Josh shrugged attempting to not appear so flustered. Chris had at least died down as the Bowie song halted and made way for other artists. "Oh yeah, he's liked him longer than I have with Bowie." 

"Hannah, Beth, and I all kind of just grew up with him." Josh's smile widened a bit. "Even when we were really young our parents would still play him." 

"Aw, little Washingtons." She sighed. "I can only imagine an adorable tiny Joshie." 

"He was pretty cute." Beth lowered the plate as Chris joined in in the examination of the objects. "But not as cute as me!" 

"Okay...but Beth was really adorable." Hannah shot her a teasing expression. "So I don't know how this happened." 

Beth's mouth gaped open and she clutched her chest as if her heart had shattered. "Hannah don't do this to me." 

"That was rough." Josh stifled back laughter as Hannah rushed towards Beth and hugged her tightly still laughing despite Beth's reaction to them. 

"So why don't you tell me more about your Brooks obsession?" 

He huffed as he could tell his cheeks grew a bit red at the term 'obsession'. "I wouldn't call it that...but I do really enjoy his music." 

"He has posters in his closest!" Hannah cried out. 

Sam raised a curious eyebrow and gave an inquisitive look. "So...how isn't this an obsession again?" She tilted her head to the side like a baffled puppy. 

"W-Well I don't live and breathe this guy." 

"So if he started playing right now you wouldn't be singing along?" 

"Oh, I'm sure you're just dying to hear me sing." Josh narrowed his eyes. "I've got a voice like an angel after all." 

"Really? I can't see any magical voice coming from you Joshie." 

"Okay well to be honest...it probably hurts angels if anything but I can dream." He smirked. 

"Oh, it can't be that bad." She shook her head and gave him an unlikely look. Before she could continue though Jessica raised her voice out to the others. 

"Hey! Mike and Em are outside!" She sped out ahead of the others who followed along towards the exit doors. 

Josh saw the two walking side by side but Mike seemed rather annoyed to an extent. He adjusted his hoodie and attempted to seem content at the sight of the others. 

Emily however, it appeared was never in that pleasant of a mood. Although she did smile as Jessica came towards her for a hug and the two exchanged inaudible words. 

Mike ran his fingers through his messy hair and cracked a smile towards the group. "Hey!" He reached out an inviting handshake towards Josh. He quickly returned the gesture and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jackets afterward. "So Josh...joining the soccer team this year? Or do you wanna be football buds together like we used to?" 

"Yeah, you wish!" He shook his head quickly. 

"He just wants to be able to show off more than he already does," Emily exclaims. Her voice is honeyed with a judgmental glaze in her eyes. "If that's even possible." 

Mike folded his lips together and huffed. "Oh don't think so coldly of me Em." 

"Oh, your poor sensitive soul." Hannah shot him a doubtful look, but he turned to look at her those usually pale cheeks flushed red. 

"Not you too Han!" He leaned against her shoulder as if he was exasperated. "Come on you're always rooting for me." 

Emily narrowed her eyes and dragged him up by the collar of his jacket. "Alright watch what you're doing hot stuff." 

Hannah attempted to hide the bright red cheeks as she slowly inched behind Josh. He noticed her rather strange behavior and gave her a questionable gaze. She huffed and kept away from allowing their eyes to meet. 

Sam was clearly concerned as she held her breath as Mike's eyes followed Hannah despite Emily's apparent dislike of the subject. A frown grew upon her usually cheerful face and she and Josh exchanged bothered expressions. 

"Is Matt not here yet?" Emily asked. "Is that idiot still at practice?" 

"Last time we checked he was." Jessie pointed out. "What about it?" 

"Oh come on!" Mike clapped his hands and already began striding off towards the car he just left. "We're going to get him!" 

"Mike you just got out of that car!" Ashley cried. "Do you really want to go back in?" 

"Do we really have anything better to do?" Mike asked. "Do you really think we want to help unpack?"

Sam shook her head and glanced over to Josh. "What a gentleman eh?" 

"He's not so bad...most of the time." Josh shrugged and pointed to his own truck."Guess we'll have to finish unloading later." 

"I'm sure you're just horribly upset by that." Josh showed off an overly-dramatic expression. 

"I'm shattered." He noticed Chris catching up to them as he waved a short 'goodbye' of sorts to Ashley. 

"Uh...Ash is going to text Matt, but most of us are going to be taking our original cars. Sam are you?" 

"I'll hitch a ride with ya'll if you don't mind." 

Josh shook his head. "Nah its fine-" 

"Can I sit in the back?" Chris squealed. "I want to feel the wind flow through my mane!" He messed with his blonde hair playfully. 

"If by mane you mean this mess then sure." He chuckled and tangled his hand through the ragged locks for a moment. 

"I sure do mean by this mess!" He pointed at his hair and hopped into the back of the truck. "Lead me onward steed!" Josh gave Chris a solemn look and he hunched over his shoulders with an embarrassed look. "S-sorry." 

Josh let out a small laugh before slipping into the driver's seat. Sam made herself comfortable in the seat beside him. She tilted her head in his direction. "We're not going to be getting anything productive done today not that they're here are we?" 

"Probably not." Josh shrugged and set a comforting hand on Sam's shoulder. "But we can put up with it for today I'm sure Sammy." He gave her a goofy smile that he usually had plastered onto his face. "You'd be willing to wait until tomorrow?" 

She crinkled her nose and gave a doubtful look. "I'll do my best, but I'm not making any promises." 

"Thank you Sammy."


	10. Text Message

Their old football field was large, to say the least. Many of the players were either sitting in the bleachers or practicing. Matt was one of the people practicing. Josh felt his phone vibrate and snatched it out to see a text from Mike.

"Prepare your ears."

Sam peered over and saw it with confusion. It was only for a moment though as the two realized one of the loudest parts of a car. Before they could warn Chris, who sat in the back the sound went off.

Mike slammed his hand down on the steering wheel and proceeded to honk his horn. It was a terrible sound of course, as anyone would suspect, but Mike didn't stop after simply one time. He proceeded for what felt like an eternity.

The football players raised their heads to see where the noise was coming from. After it was clear that he had all of their attention Mike raised his voice to them. 

"Hey, Matty c'mon boy get over here!" His mocking tone was that similar to how you'd speak to a dog. Bits of laughter erupted among the players as you could see a small figure of Matt making his way towards them.

He was still in his football uniform with an obvious look of irritation. Mike leaned farther out of his vehicle and patted Matt on the head. "Good boy Matty!"

"Oh, the poor guy." Sam glanced back towards the group of hysterically laughing players. "That won't go away soon."

"Well, my real question is, why are there so many people practicing outside during winter break. Last time I checked people do...other stuff!"

The sliding rear window opened and Chris gave a terrified look. "How come you guys didn't tell me about that?" He took short heavy breaths. "I nearly had a heart attack!"

"Oh well, we got the text seconds before he did it." Josh gave a weak smile and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "We tried to tell you, but he got to it first."

Chris slumped down in the back of the truck with a groan. "That was...awful." Despite them only being able to see the man's foot now his voice was more than enough.

Sam let out a tiny bit of laughter and closed the rear window. She tapped her finger on Josh's phone. "Do you mind?"

"What, oh no go ahead."

"I'm going to text Hannah and see what's going on in there."

As Josh saw Sam's fingers pressing against the phone screen a tinge of fear couldn't help but trickle down his spine. What if Hannah sent something...unwanted? He could only imagine her requests for him to try something. He felt himself grow tense as he saw the message send.

Please don't do anything this time. He thought. His heart began to pound as he noticed the text.

Despite his pleas, it was all but inevitable.

"Mike keeps making movie references that Matt doesn't understand." Sam read aloud. She smirked before her eyes widened with shock. "You making any moves yet?"

"Oh no." Josh let out a small breath as he felt his lungs tighten up with the stress building up inside of him.

He watched an amused smile grow onto her face as she prepared to send another text. "I think that's enough for you Sammy."

"Were you going to be making some moves on me?" She raised a doubtful eyebrow as she pulled the phone away from his grip.

"N-no!" He never really intended to, but Hannah's words and Sam's sight of it left him rather flustered.

"Oh don't give me that." Her eyes grew light as bits of sunlight made the colors bounce towards him. Her lips curved into a playful grin. 

"Why'd she send that?"

"U-Uh..." He attempted to come up with some words that would deter from the idea of them as a couple. He wasn't entirely sure how she'd react to such a thing and the very idea made his heart break off at a rapid pace. "I-It's just Hannah y'know!"

"Is Hannah saying what I think she's saying?" Although her tone was cocky and certain he saw hints of...hope in her eyes.

"W-What do you think she's saying?" Josh asked. His throat was incredibly dry and his stomach felt light as if something was fluttering inside...butterflies maybe? That was a more normal saying, but it didn't fit. It was much more intense, clawing at his insides and yet he still felt a gentle flapping of wings. He wanted to admit it, he wanted to tell her...how he felt.

But his throat shut tight and all that came out were stuttered attempts.

"T-That she t-thinks that...you and I would...be a good couple...?" Even Sam struggled to admit the words, but her smile didn't lessen in the slightest. If anything it only grew with the light red emerging upon her cheeks. 

He never really answered yes or no...at least directly. "W-well I mean...either way t-that's something w-we d-decide on." He let out a bit of awkward laughter. "S-She can't r-really affect it too much."

"I-I guess not." She didn't move the loose strands falling onto her cheek this time.

It was an impulse.

Without even thinking he leaned towards her and moved her smooth hair behind her ear. It was slow for a moment as he slowly dropped his hand. 

Her cheeks exploded into a bright red as their faces came inches apart.

On the inside, it was rather apparent that he was screaming inside. There was no sound other than their breaths as he lowered his hand, yet he didn't lean back.

Sam hardly moved but as Josh lowered his hand he felt the heat of her own press against his skin.

They were both silent merely staring into the other one's eyes. If Sam was doing the same as Josh then she was desperately attempting to come up with the words, or actions to break the atmosphere.

Once again he was captivated by her eyes, to many, they weren't special but to him, they were a pure example of beauty. Even just her laughs that left her flustered, or her clumsy actions...everything about her he loved. He cherished her and adored every second he got to see someone as marvelous as Sammy. He knew it in his heart, and in the back of his mind, the words were screamed.

He was deeply in love in Sammy. And his heart swelled with his love for her.

But the only thing that kept him from confessing those meaningful words was the phone that vibrated with a message once more.


	11. PIckup-Lines

Sam quickly passed him his phone as she averted her eyes to the ground. She clamped a hand over her mouth, attempting to conceal the smile that had grown. 

He examined his phone without a word, but on the inside, his heart was pounding, his mind was screaming, and the confession still clung to his mouth. 

"Follow us." The text was from Mike and as he lifted his head he noticed Mike's vehicle race off. Another text alerted his phone. "We got Matty, but he's still in his uniform so it's a tight squeeze." 

Josh lowered his phone and set it back into his pocket. Aside from Chris's muffled screams of excitement as the wind blew through it, it was utterly silent. 

"I-I-I um...I'm really sorry about that." He took a shaky breath that was very apparent as he spoke. "I-It was an a-accident if anything." 

While his mind raced with new words to say in order to possibly mend the conversation he felt soft hands entwine with his free one. Heat raced through his body and he briefly glanced at Sam. 

Her bright red cheeks were puffed out and she furrowed her brow. "I-It's fine." She lowered her other hand revealing a tiny smile. "I-If anyone is g-going to do that, might as well be you." 

His smile lengthened as he heard those words, and he gained up the courage to be a bit more cheerful in this situation. 

He leaned towards her with his lips barely against her ear.He spoke lightly but still with a smooth voice. "What does that make me special or something?" 

She jerked towards the car window with a little squeak escaping her. Josh pulled back letting out bits and pieces of laughter. Even her hands were a bright red and the tips of her ears were warm. She snatched back her hand and clutched her chest as if the air had been pulled out of her. 

She folded her lips and covered her ears for a second. "W-What was that?" 

He gave a little wink continued following Mike as the car lights shifted from red to green. "Just 'making my move'." 

"A-are you serious?" Her voice was so jittery as if she was about to burst at any moment. 

"Aw Sammy." He cracked a smile and her reddening cheeks only grew darker. "I'm sorry." He attempted to slick back his hair only for it to rush back into its previous position. "Can't help that I'm so slick." 

She sighed and shook her head as she leaned her head against the back of the seat.

Well...her head didn't reach the very top, but it was as close as she could get. 

"Oh yeah...no one's slicker than you." Her tone was clearly sarcastic.

"What do I need to prove myself more?" He huffed. "I don't know if you'll survive the journey, Sam." 

"Try me." She leaned towards him, her eyes gleaming with exhilaration.

Josh cleared his throat and stopped his vehicle once again as the crimson red light flashed in front of them. He licked his lips as he attempted to think of something, and then...it popped into his mind. 

"If you were beauty, you'd be an eternity." Sam's eyes grew even wider and her mouth slowly opened a bit with a small amount of shock. 

She crinkled her nose and held back laughter. "T-that was pretty cheesy Josh I don't know." She still had sheepish expression despite this upon her face. 

"The cheesy ones are the best Sammy don't ever forget that." He snickered as he thought of the next one. "But don't ever forget that life without you would like a broken pencil...pointless." He couldn't hold back his laughter and tightened his grip on the steering wheel as his 'serious' tone escaped. 

"Josh that was just bad!" As he was leaning down he felt Sam rest her head on his shoulder blades. "I'd expect better from you!" 

As he sat up he raised his eyebrows and said a final one. "Well it's not my fault that you're so beautiful you made me forget my pickup lines!" 

She pressed her back against the car door and held her breath. 

"Good...or bad?" 

She nodded quickly shooting a thumbs up while quickly placed a hand on her cheek. 

"Oh did that get ya'?" He smirked and cocked his head to the side like a puppy. "I knew I'd crack past that shell sooner or later." 

He lowered her hands and pressed his forehead against hers. "Or do I still have a long way to go?" 

He could hear a few flustered squeaks of the sort escape her. His smiles though as it grew, so did hers. "I-I don't know how you're able to get me l-like this." Josh noticed how her eyelids slightly lowered and she raised her chin a bit to be at eye level. 

Go for it. He thought. Sam was holding her hands gently around his neck and was slowly leaning forward. It's Sammy, you can do it. He already felt the heat of her lips against his and nearly took her cheek in his hand before the sound of rear opening window erupted into their ears. Chris, of course. They shot back and Josh returned quickly and attempted to fix himself a bit. 

"The lights green guys I don't want anyone honking their horns...at...us." Chris had already noticed what nearly happened and held back silly giggles. "If you two were going to get distracted you might as well have let me drive!" 

"You said you wanted the wind to blow through your mane!" 

"I would rather have a safe drive than a wreck over my need for luxurious locks." He ripped off his glasses dramatically. "There are more important things in life than magnificent manes." 

Josh closed the window and noticed the look on Sam's face. It was that of confusion when many jumbled words were mixed into your head but you couldn't select the better few to say.

He felt like that in most situations with her, even the one they were currently in now. But after awhile you tend to get control over such a thing. 

"J-Josh?" She asked. "Is it weird that we keep getting into these situations?" 

He shrugged not really wanting to come up with an outright answer. "It really depends on how you feel about it, Sammy." He took a small breath. "Depends on how you feel about me...I guess." 

And although she didn't respond he noticed the smile that only grew instead of fade when they locked eyes.


	12. Restaurant

Josh could already tell as they pulled into a parking spot, that this wasn't the ideal place. Not the spot, but the restaurant. 

Sam took a heavy breath as she slipped out of the vehicle and grabbed Mike by his jacket. "Yeah...uh, what's this?" She narrowed her eyes as Mike attempted a smile. 

"It's a barbecue place." He moved her hand and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Come on Sam aren't you smart?"

"Okay, well...what am I again? It starts with a v." Sam's eyes gleamed with frustration as Mike's only seemed to respond with amusement.

"A virgin?"

She erupted into a bright red, smacking his shoulder. 

"Don't start with that!" 

He huffed, rolling his eyes.

"You're a vegan." 

"And you took me to a barbecue place." Sam clenched her hands into fists and groaned. "In what way is that a good idea?" 

"I'm sure you'll find something in there for you." Emily narrowed her eyes. "We're already here Sam, so it doesn't really matter now." 

"Is there not a better place nearby?" Hannah asked. 

Sam huffed and patted Hannah on her shoulder. "I-I guess it's fine, I'll just have fries or something." 

Ashley gave a cheerful look towards Sam. "Aw, I'm sure it'll still be fun! They'll have something for you." 

Sam gave a polite nod but still had a frown on her face. 

"If there's really nothing in there for you, then we can go drop by a better place afterward okay?" Josh gave a comforting smile as she turned her head. 

"Are you serious?" She raised a curious eyebrow with her frown slightly morphing into something a bit more positive. 

"Yeah, it's not like I've got anything to do after this." He shrugged. "I just have one thing later tonight, so I'm pretty free." 

She dipped her head gratefully. "That'd be great actually." She chuckled. "Thanks, Joshie." 

As Josh dipped his head in response he noticed the giddy smile on Hannah as she jabbed at Ashley. Chris stared in confusion at the two of them but smiled at Josh. 

The inside of the restaurant was filled with hanging lights providing sight for the group that entered hearing the sound of creaking wood. People were scattered about the area and especially around a stage area where people danced below the musical group. 

They were sat at a table where two tables had to be connected, but at least Matt didn't have to squeeze into any seat. 

His uniform looked rather uncomfortable as it still had the shoulder pads and everything. He huffed and gave Mike an annoyed look. "You couldn't have let me change first?" 

"No Matty, we couldn't." He patted Matt on his shoulder and leaned back in his seat. "Be a brave soul for us." 

"Why'd you even go this morning?" Beth asked. "It's winter break, wouldn't you rather be doing something more fun?" 

"Well, if I don't practice I won't get any better." He tapped his hands on the tablecloth. "I'll take a day or two off though, so we can hang out a bit more if you want." 

"Really?" Sam placed a hand on her chin and leaned on the wooden table. "We know that's a big sacrifice for you." 

He let out a set of fake laughs. "Yeah, yeah I know...but y'know we haven't been able to hang out much and I don't want it to be awkward at the lodge because we didn't hang out before." 

"Oh what a heart-breaking tale." Emily rolled her eyes. "You're really making me feel a thing...called emotions." 

"Don't be that way." Chris furrowed his brow and adjusted his glasses as they trailed down his nose. "We can't have a grouch Em!" 

She narrowed her eyes and huffed. "I'm a pessimistic person, if I were a grouch you'd better have Doctor Suess nearby alright?" 

"I'll remember that." 

As they ordered their drinks Sam was clearly uncomfortable as she noticed steaming plates of barbecue and such drift past them. 

"Oh don't be such a drama queen Sam." Mike chuckled. "It's just a bit of meat, it won't kill ya'."

Sam's eyes flared with animosity towards him in an instant. 

Josh set his hand on her shoulder.

"Just remember we can grab something better after this. I won't eat any meat even." 

"You don't have to do all that for me you know. You're not a vegan it's fine." 

"Nah, if I eat now then when we get something better I'll be full." He moved his hand away and his smile lengthened. "Besides, don't want you feeling left out or anything." 

"I wouldn't if it weren't for the idiot over there." She pointed towards Mike who gasped. 

"Sam! Be nice please." 

"Oh I am, I could call you much worse things you know." 

Drinks were placed beside them as the music began to grow louder and louder. "This isn't your Bowie is it, Chris?" 

Chris was holding his hands to his ears as he was the closest to one of the speakers. "No!" He yelled, distressed. "It's not!" 

Josh let out a small bit of laughter as he saw Ashley attempt to figure out the problem with a waiter. A look of embarrassment came onto the person's face, and they gingerly attempted to lower the volume of the speaker. He sighed with relief and set his forehead against the table. 

"Is that better?" Hannah asked. "I just might have to ask them to turn it up." 

"Hannah please." Chris's voice was shaky as he groaned. "Don't do this to me." 

As the familiar music reached his ears he hummed along quietly. It was Garth Brooks. His feet ached to shoot up but he was merely forced to quietly sing the tune in his head. 

"Isn't that your guy?" Sam asked. "The one you idolize or something?" 

"His name is Garth Brooks, and he is amazing Sammy." 

"You seem pretty into it." She noticed his movement and smiled. "You might as well go along and start dancing over there." She pointed towards the group or people already going onward with the song. 

An idea popped into Josh's head as he ejected from his seat. He reached out a hand and tilted his head slightly and gave a jovial smile.

"Well...Only if I can have a dance partner."


	13. The Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a link to the song used/mentioned in the chapter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztmZKMdr154

Sam's eyes widened and she nervously chuckled. "J-Josh what?"

"I need a dance partner." He raised his eyebrows and moved his hand a bit closer. "And who else would I want to dance with than you Sammy?"

"Y-You still know I've got two left feet!" She furrowed her brow. 

"Then I'll teach you, it doesn't matter if you've got two left feet as long as they don't ram into people." He smiled brightly. "So...want to give it a shot?"

She sighed and took his hand. "Only for you Joshie."

Josh heard a small screech from Hannah who then buried her face into Beth's sweater. Ashley shot him a thumbs-up and tapped Chris's shoulder pointing the two out.

"It'll be easy I promise." He said. "You took some classes right? In middle school a bunch of kids are required or something."

"Well yeah...in middle school." She tensed up and her shoulders were raised slightly. "I'm a bit rusty to say the least. How come you're okay at it?"

"U-Uh..." Josh narrowed his eyes as he mustered up the ability to admit it. "I had to take those dancing classes a bit...longer. The family just wanted me to get better in case of special occasions."

"Oh I bet you're a real gentleman." She shook her head as she spoke. "You could sweep any lady off her feet."

"Well I can sweep you off your feet at least." He scooped her up within a matter of seconds, bridal-style of course. It was the easiest. "Literally of course." He could feel the heat of her body reverting back to him and her hands tighten around the collar of his shirt. "You're so tiny, wow."

She huffed. "It's only because you're such a giant."

"Well...I don't mean to brag or anything, but I am pretty tall. Makes it easier to lift you up." He shrugged. "Okay, but I seriously can't get over how tiny you are." He snickered as she crinkled her nose.

"Okay, okay put me down big guy." As she came to the ground she stumbled slightly before regaining her balance. "We can't all be gigantic like you."

"It's a gift." He took her hand and began to lead her towards the main area where the group of people were dancing. "Alright, alright you at least know the whole position thing right?"

"Y-Yeah I think so."

"So don't kill me for this Sammy." He set his hand on her waist, and her eyes widened. "I promise it's only a part of the position."

"I know." She took a deep breath. "I'm not really used to this though, if I'm going to be completely honest with you."

"That's fine, It's been awhile for me too." He takes her hand and sets it onto his shoulder. "We're lucky I just remember all this."

"Oh yeah, because it's so complicated." Josh slowly took her other hand and raised it up slightly.

"Well I don't want to look like an idiot Sammy, not this time at least." He smiled softly. "You know how to do a two-step right?"

"Uh...no." She folded her lips together sheepishly. "I usually play the music, I don't dance to it."

"Alright well it's two steps forward, two steps back." He explained. "Nothing to hard for you, I promise."

"I'm probably going to step on your feet a bunch though, just in case you didn't know."

"That's fine, I wasn't really expecting you to be perfect right off the bat anyways."

The steps started off slow with the tapping of their shoes chiming in their ears. Thankfully, the music was slow as their feet took off. Sam's footing was clumsy at first, she'd stumble every once and awhile. But she wasn't that bad at it, for someone who hadn't danced in such a long time.

"We're going to have to speed up a bit alright?"

"W-what?" Sam tightened her grip on his hand as she grew nervous. "I can barely do this!"

"You're doing perfectly fine Sammy." He chuckled. "Don't worry, just follow along with the beat of the song."

She took a deep breath and nodded slowly. "A-alright."

Her movement grew a bit smoother as Josh began to tilt his body in the direction they were intended to go. She continued desperately glancing down at the floor before Josh leaned his head closer to her. "Don't look down alright? It'll only make it more stressful."

"Are you sure?" Sam scrunched up her nose but nodded hesitantly.

"I wouldn't tell you it if I wasn't."

As the music quickened Sam grew more accustomed to the beat. Her movements grew smooth along with Josh's, and she even smiled a bit with her steps. "There you go!"

"I'm not the worst dancer ever!" She spoke in a sarcastic tone but her eyes gleamed with optimism. "great."

"Oh come on." He raised his eyebrows. "You should give yourself more credit." He lifted up her hand and spun her around lightly. She gasped as she was dropped and Josh caught her before her body collapsed onto the tile floor. "You survived that right?"

"I would've killed you if I fell." She grumbled.

"A bunch of dancers do that twirl thing, you should know that I wouldn't drop you!" He lifted her up and she leaned against him for a moment as her feet were readjusted.

She squeezed his hand as she stepped back nearly as if she was afraid she'd shatter. "That's my first time doing that."

The tempo was quick once more and it didn't take long for Sam to follow along. She kept her eyes away from the floor and locked onto Josh. "I guess this isn't the worst thing ever." She muttered. "I used to despise it when I was younger."

"Well you did always have the worst partners." He shrugged. "We didn't exactly get to pick who we danced with."

"Most people hated it right? Did you hate it?"

"It wasn't my favorite." He frowned. "But it could've been worse."

"How?"

"Well I could have been there all on my own." He snickered. "It was at least a lot more fun with you guys there."

"What a sweetheart." She raised one of her eyebrows, her lips slightly tilting to create a smile. "Aren't you just a charmer?"

"I do my best."

"So, got any more tricks?" She asked. "I'm sure that isn't just all is it?"

"I do have one more..." He thought for a moment. "but you've got to listen to what I say."

"I'm ready to go whenever you are."

"Alright Sammy, then here we go." He swung her to the side, releasing his grip on her waist for a second. She stayed to the side before Josh continued. "Jump when you come back alright?"

"Gotcha." She was pulled back but lifted up her feet to jump. Josh set his hands on the opposite part of her knee as she was lifted up. She pressed against him and managed to stay still. She let out a small shocked noise as she found she was still up, and wrapped her hands around Josh's neck.

He lifted his head to face her and she pressed her forehead against his for support. He gave a confident smile as she took short breaths.

"How's that for soaring Sammy?"


	14. The Cafe

She let out nervous laughs as she tightened her grip around his neck. "T-That's pretty good." 

"Aw, are you afraid I'm going to drop you or something?" He chuckled. "I wouldn't dream of it, Sammy." 

She took a slow breath as she rested her forehead against his. Despite his calm demeanor, Josh's heart raced as he could feel Sam's heat against his own. His heart pounded as if it'd explode from his chest, but his hands were ice cold. 

"Well, I can't say it'd be the first time someone has done that to me." Her voice was silvery as she raised her hands to meet his cheeks. He hoped that she didn't notice the warmth and bright red color that appeared as she did so.

The words he blurted out were in no way planned. "C-Can I kiss you?" 

He had never wanted to be shot, but right then he wished for nothing more. It was as if the music stopped, and the air went frigid. 

"What?" A little smile came to her face. "Did you really just ask for permission?" 

"Y-Yeah." If she could hear his inner thoughts, all she'd hear is screaming. Not that this would help in any way possible. But the crowds left them hidden from the rest of the group, and the only one interested enough in the two of them was Hannah. Not that too many would even listen to Hannah, aside from maybe Beth and Ashley.

"Course." She pressed her lips against his and pulled him closer. His heart beat seemed to nearly calm down as her soft hands began to twirl around his hair. The music was muffled out and he could only hear their breaths and his own gentle heartbeat. 

He lowered her softly to the ground and listened as the heels of her boots clacked quietly. They're lips parted but they kept their heads placed lightly on each other, even if Josh had to bend down to do so. 

A charming smile came onto Sam's face and a little giggle escaped her. He wished he could hear her laugh each day. 

She lowered her hand and wrapped it around Josh's. "Do you think they saw us?" A bit of nervousness glimmered in her eyes. 

"Like they'd spend much time focusing on us." He chuckled. "I bet you Mike and Emily are already making out." 

"Classy." She snickered. "As always." 

He lifted up his head and lightly kissed her forehead. He laughed a small bit as red crawled to her cheeks. "I'm no better than you." 

"Good point." He straightened his back and felt Sam squeeze his hand in an affectionate manner. 

It wasn't anything particularly new, Sam could be a very loving person. 

But never like this.

The way her eyes lit up when she saw him and the smile that was so easy to craft with her was...unlike her. With most people at least she 0was difficult to even get a hug out of. 

Why was she this way...with Josh of all people? 

In a way, he never really thought himself worthy enough for someone like her. However as strange as it was...he always saw Sam as the epitome of perfect. In his eyes at least she was that. Everything about her was wonderful, just simply...astounding. 

"How much time do you think we have until they start to suspect something?" 

"Maybe twenty minutes?" 

"Wanna risk it?" He asked. "Maybe we can go find a better restaurant for you." 

"We better be quick then." 

The two of them slipped past the groups of dancing people in their excitable shouts...and drunken screeches. It was an interesting sight, to say the least. Just what certain people did under the effects of alcohol was perplexing. 

The exit was located on the other side of the building so there wasn't much worry about colliding with the others. They pushed past the glass doors, and nearly gave a sigh of relief as they noticed the stuffy atmosphere of that area no longer present. 

"You know that country music was starting to grow on me." 

"Really?" 

"No." She shook her head. "I still would much rather listen to my old-timey tunes instead." 

"Yeah...it takes years of dedication to like hardcore country music." He gave a comical tone. "Cause it's not all that good...sometimes." 

"You don't need to tell me that, trust me...I'm already completely aware." She chuckled. "I've heard one too many songs about tractors." 

"W-well...there's a lot of those." He shrugged. "At least if it's Garth, it's a really good song about tractors." 

"I'm sure." 

As Josh looked around there was an assortment of restaurants. One of these was a little cafe. It looked like a cozy little thing from the outside. Nothing magnificent or stuffy like the area his friends had chosen. He pointed it out with his free hand. "Does that fit your tastes? Doubt they're playing songs about tractors." 

"They better not be." The two of them began the walk towards the cafe already hearing soft music as they came closer to the door. Simple string music, no vocals or anything. A little bell chimed as they entered and a little lady hurriedly made her way towards them. 

"You haven't gotten any texts yet or anything?" Sam asked. "This place is kind of nice."

He checked briefly and was greeted with a blank screen. "No, none of them have noticed yet...I guess." 

"Good." Their hands parted as they sat across from each other at the small booth they were seated at. The area itself felt rather homely. Like a little area, you'd find in a meadow or sorts. It was pleasant.

"I bet they'll have something better for you here Sammy." He gave her a sincere grin. "They got to have something." 

"I'm keeping my hopes up." 

"Okay...well if this place doesn't have anything for you, I'll try out cooking." 

"What?" She narrowed her eyes. "You can cook?" 

"I can try, and trying is half the battle." He gave her a little wink. "That's not how the saying goes, but just take it for what it is." 

"Wow, I can tell I'm in good hands." She folded her arms across her chest. "I wonder what you'd come up with." 

"Just hope that they've got something here for you Sammy. Cooking's...not really my thing."


	15. Corny Jokes

"It's just vegetable soup Josh." Sam chuckled. "It's not that strange." He couldn't help but be a bit curious though. He was sure it was good, but it simply wasn't a route he ever planned to take. "Do you want to try something?"

"What?" He gave her a perplexed look. "What do you mean?" 

"Try the hot cocoa." She handed him the cup with gentle hands. "It's got almond milk instead." It lacked the whipped cream, and marshmallows most did. "It won't kill you."

He gave an awkward grin. "S-sorry, just never really had anything like this."

"Don't worry about it." She shrugged. "You might like it. If I gave it to Mike, he might have died right on the spot."

He pressed his lips against the cup and was met with a hint of sweetness. It tasted like regular milk...for the most part. There was an obvious nutty taste to it, but that was of course expected. It was warm as it traveled down his throat and that sweet taste hung in his mouth a few more seconds than expected.

"So...what do you think?" She leaned forward with interest gleaming in her eyes.

He lowered the cup to the table and slid it back to her side. "It's not bad, not bad at all."

"Glad you think so." She sighed. "You know, you don't have to pay for this. I mean, you didn't even order anything."

"Well I'm going to be out again later, I might as well get something there." He shrugged. "Besides, that's not entirely true. I got tea didn't I?" He lifted up his glass cup of black tea. "I bought something."

"Honestly though, this is too sweet of you." She chuckled. "Not many people would do this for me."

"Well Sammy, I guess you're just worth it." Her cheeks grew a bit darker to his words. "

"I thought you were going to make a corny joke right there." She remarked.

"I spared you the pain."

"Thanks Joshie." She narrowed her eyes and her face appeared rather devious for a moment. "But I've got some corny jokes of my own."

He took a deep breath. "Okay okay, lay it on me."

"Are you sure you've got the strength to handle them?" She crinkled her nose and tightened her grip on her hot cocoa.

"I think I'll be able to stand your jokes."

"Alright." She was already quietly giggling at her own humor. "Why're ghosts so bad at lying?"

He tilted his head from side to side in consideration as he spoke with a flat voice. "I don't know Sammy, why're ghosts so bad at lying?" 

Her voice was so enthusiastic as she let out the punchline. "Because you can see right through them!"

She covered her mouth as laughter erupted from her. He even heard a couple snorts. He exhaled heavily and took a long sip of his tea.

"I'm so hilarious Josh you have no idea."

He lowered his drink. "Oh no, I'm wheezing on the inside."

"Here comes another one." She took a deep breath. "What did one plate say to the other plate?"

"J-Just say it."

He was of course greeted with a ridiculous end to the joke.

"Dinner's on me!" Her shoulders tightened as she attempted to hide back furious laughter. "I-I should be a comedian!" 

"No, I don't think that's a good choice." He shook his head. "Let's stick to your original one okay?"

"I can't believe you're not dying at how good that was."

"Oh well I am dying inside, but not because that was funny."

"Come on, at least smile for me!" She furrowed her brow. "I'm sure you've told worse jokes after all."

He looked to her and ultimately, did smile. His smile was wider than intended but was soft and loving nonetheless. "I probably have."

She managed to regain a sort of control over herself. "I've been dying to tell those jokes." Her voice was calming now, and as smooth silk. "I knew you'd like them, to an extent."

"Oh I like all your jokes Sammy." He leaned back in his booth seat. "It's pretty hard to not like them when they're coming from you."

Her cheeks grew scarlet. "W-What's that supposed to mean?"

"The faces you make, that dorky laugh, and how you can barely contain yourself while telling it is enough as it is." He chuckled. "You make some pretty cute faces y'know."

"I do not." She frowned. "I am a stone cold beast."

"You're a really adorable stone cold beast then."

"You're really terrified of me I can tell." She huffed. "You're shaking in your boots."

Josh felt his phone vibrate. He frowned as it was a very expected text from Hannah.

"Where are you two? Please tell me you went off and got married!"

"Hannah's found us out." He admitted.

"I didn't really want to go back yet." She frowned. "Should we get going?"

"Well, if Hannah's already noticed something then the others won't be too far behind." He straightened up. "So yeah, I think we should."

"Oh alright." She sighed a tiny bit. "We should do this again you know, just the two of us?"

The two of us. Those words clung to his mind and cause his cheeks to grow warm. "W-what?"

"I really like it when we get to just hang out." Her voice was so quiet at this point, as if she was trying to just think it all out in her head. "I hate to be rude or anything, but I feel a lot more comfortable when it's just us than with the rest of the group."

"Really?" He couldn't really think of anything clever. Just in awe that she felt this way around him.

"Yeah of course!" She replied. "I-I feel like I can tell you anything."

"Course you can Sammy." He gave a considerate smile and his eyes became glazed over with a sort of softness.

"W-well..." Words hung on her tongue and her entire face grew a bright red. She held her hands together and fiddled with her thumbs. She looked up revealing a passionate spark. "n-no there's no way." She muttered.

"What?" He peered closer and she shot back.

"N-nothing." She ejected from her seat and attempted to spruce herself up. "L-Let's just get going a-alright?"

"Are you sure?" Josh asked. They had already paid and everything, but it was rather abrupt. "You looked like you were about to say something there."

She took a deep breath and spoke in a reserved voice and plastered a somehow sad smile onto her beautiful face.

"N-no, it's nothing."


	16. 'Insult Mike Day'

They returned to the stuffy area, with the same music blaring about. 

Josh grabbed onto Hannah's shoulders and she let out a surprised shriek. "Josh?" She turned her head. "Where have you been?" 

"Dancing, where else?" He sat down beside Sam and leaned back in his seat, standing on the back two legs. "Just a lot of people to get around." 

Beth gave him a doubtful look but didn't speak a word. Merely a little smile crawled to her lips. 

"You know, I never knew you liked that kind of music." Matt admitted. 

"What kind of music did you think I listened to?" 

"I don't know, I guess I just hoped you didn't listen to Mike's kind." He shot Mike a disdainful look. "It's pretty bad then." 

"Oh c'mon." 

"Nah, it's pretty bad babe." Emily narrowed her eyes and took a short sip of her water. "I'd stop if I were you." 

"Well, what kind of music does he listen to?" 

"Let's just say a little bit of me died inside after his...uh 'trying to dance'. It was more like a dying animal" 

Mike slammed his fist on the table. "Aw dude, you promised not to tell anyone!" 

"Wait did he seriously do that?" Josh leaned forward while his eyes grew with interest. 

"Sadly, yeah he did." Matt hid his smile behind his raised hand and began to erupt into laughter. Mike covered his entire face in embarrassment, but Emily went over to Matt asking if a video of such existed. "It was traumatizing." 

"Oh it wasn't that bad." He narrowed his eyes. "I thought it was pretty fantastic."

"Of course you did." Emily retorted. "You think everything about yourself is fantastic." 

"Well I wouldn't unless I was truly fantastic." Mike chuckled and shot them all a quick wink. 

Emily shook her head and continued moving on, but not before tipping over Mike's chair. He collapsed onto the ground with his legs smashing onto the table. "You're about as fantastic as Jessica's fashion sense." 

Josh watched an expression of shock smack onto Jessica's face. "Are you kidding me?" 

"I'm dead serious." Emily cracked a smug smile. 

"Aw Jess." Chris held back laughter. "Has your confidence been shattered?" 

"Don't even try with any of your corny jokes right now Chris." A sort of angry fire burned in her eyes. 

"Oh don't let it get to you Jess." Hannah grumbled. "Em's always trying to see what can get us to tick." 

"See? Hannah's figured it out." Emily tilted her head to the side and raised an eyebrow. "So how come you can't?" 

Before Jessica could react Beth placed her sweater-covered hand over her mouth. "Jessica I think you can forgive Emily for her remark over you 'fashion sense'." She lowered her eyelids with annoyance. "Even if you can't, wait until the rest of us aren't around please?" 

She hunched over her shoulders with a scowl upon her mouth as Jessica lowered the sweater sleeve. "Thank you Jess." Beth said softly. 

Mike managed to sit back up and attempted to fix his ragged hair. "Well that was a pretty rough joke." 

"Oh I bet you're just saying that because someone decided not to compliment you." Josh pointed out. "Now that we're in college you're not any famous player...to most." 

"Yeah, that honor goes to Mattie now I guess." He patted Matt's head once again, like he was praising a pet of sorts. "Take that with pride." 

"I can just hope I leave with a better reputation." Matt snickered as Mike gave a pained look. 

"Is it 'Insult Mike Day' or something?" He huffed. "I've never been so hurt before!" 

"I really like this day." Emily replied. "I wish we had this day every day." 

"Em you're supposed to be on my side!" 

"Can't blame her," Sam spoke quietly. 

"Not you too!" Mike cried. He dragged his hands down his face as if he was exasperated. 

"Sorry man, 'Insult Mike day' is pretty fun." 

"It's not fun to me!" The former 'jock' couldn't help but have a comical smile crawl to his lips. "I feel so betrayed." 

'Insult Mike Day' had ended as they left the restaurant. The air grew a lower degree and the wind pounded harder. 

Chris bounced towards Sam and Josh with a sly grin already on his face. "I'll be driving, ya'll can sit in the back...in case you two start something." 

Sam's face grew a dark red and she narrowed her eyes. "You're so funny Chris." 

"I do my best."

Josh hesitantly tossed his friend the keys before climbing into the back besides Sam. As he took soft breaths he could see the air circulate around him. Even the edges of the truck seemed to be lined with thin layers of ice. 

"Is it really that good of a decision to let Chris get control of your car in this weather?" Sam asked. 

"I don't really have too much of a choice." Josh remarked. "He's pretty determined about it." 

"If we get into a wreck I'm blaming you though alright?" Sam replied. "Or Chris...probably Chris." 

"That's fine by me." 

Sam took a deep breath and set the back of her head against the rear window. "You know no matter how cold it gets out here, it's always just so nice to me." 

"Guess you're just one of those people." 

"What kind of people?" Sam asked. 

"The kind of person that just prefers this season, I like Fall more personally." 

"Oh how poetic." Sam cooed. "I can already feel the pain in your heart." 

"It's a truly tragic story." He smirked. 

"I can tell." Sam softly laughed. "Uh...but I just might fall asleep on ride home." She gave him a nervous look. "Make sure I don't fall out of the car if I do okay?" 

He pulled her close and set a comforting hand on her farthest shoulder. "Oh don't worry Sammy, I gotcha."


	17. How to Tell

Sam hadn't entirely drifted off yet. Her eyelids hung lazily and every once and awhile she'd mumble something to Josh. Her voice had grown significantly softer and if it weren't for that her head was on his chest he wouldn't be able to hear a single word. "Hey Josh." She whispered. A little shiver went up his spine as he could tell just how bleak her voice was. 

"Yes Sammy?" In contrast to hers, his voice was warm when he spoke. It wasn't cut off or bumpy because of Chris's reckless driving even.

"How can you tell if you're in love with someone?" She asked. She pulled her legs closer nearly seeming like she was in a ball to keep the little heat she had.

"That's an odd question." He remarked. "Do you think you might be in love with someone?"

She nodded lightly, a bit of red arising to her cheeks.

"Well...I can't really say how you'd react to it, but...for me a lot of things happen." He decided to choose his words carefully, at least this time he could try not to mess up.

"Like what?"

"Whenever I'm around them my heart starts to pound, My mind is racing with all the things I want to say to them, but just their voice can calm me down in seconds. I love their flaws, and every little thing about them no matter how much they hate it." As she slumped a bit he tightened his grip on her so she wouldn't be laying sprawled out on the back of the truck. "And each day, no matter how weird it sounds I love them even more, that kind of makes it hard to tell them though."

"Aren't you just a sweetheart." She muttered. Despite the comment a tender smile was on her face. "Are you in love right now?"

He took a deep breath and nodded. "Y-Yes."

"You really feel that way about them?" She chuckled. "Not just exaggerating or anything?"

"No, I don't think I could lie about something that important. They're the most important person in my life." In a way it was better that Sam was unaware this person was her. It spared him the flustered face and strangulated words. "Are you in love Sammy?"

"I-I think so." She replied. She buried her face into his jacket for warmth. "I'm kind of scared to tell them though."

Would she even remember this in the morning? She looked exhausted and stars were lightly shining in the sky. The others drove behind them, and they were heading back to the dormitories. She'd more than likely be asleep by then. What if she didn't remember? And he had to tell her all about it. "Why're you so scared to tell them?"

"The obvious thing -and I've never really...felt this kind of thing before."

Rejection maybe? The seemed pretty apparent in most cases. "Then they must be pretty important to you Sammy."

"Y-yeah...I don't know what I'd do without them." She let out a tiny laugh that shifted into a slow breath. "I-I really do...love them." Her voice trailed off and she drifted off to sleep.

He felt his phone began to vibrate and he reached for it. A phone call this time, Hannah of course. Who else would've actually watched that whole thing...well maybe Ashley. He pressed his phone against his ear and spoke in a delicate voice.

"I know you're thinking I'm going to freak out about that really cute moment with you two, but I actually just want to hang out at your dorm for awhile."

"Why?"

"Well Sam's asleep and I wanna watch my shows." She groaned. "I don't wanna wake her up!"

"Lower your voice or just might." He scolded. Hannah was one of the few people that didn't seem to have control of the tone of her voice at moments.

"Oh...sorry." She giggled. "By the way that was a really cute moment. What were you two talking about though?"

"I'll tell you at the coffee house. We can go together around midnight or something."

"But that's late."

"Yeah, but no one will be there so there won't be a line. You won't complain as much about it then."

"Fine."

"Alright, I'm going to need your keys though to your dorm. Cause Sam is kind of asleep."

"Kind of asleep?" Hannah's voice was mixed with confusion. "Is she planning for the next 'Insult Mike Day' while snoring?"

"No Hannah, that's something Em would do." Josh chuckled at his own joke. "She's asleep."

"You suave gentleman." Hannah snickered.

"I didn't do anything though."

"Well, when you two ditched us where'd you go?"

"We only ditched you guys to get Sam something she could actually eat." Josh pointed out. "Nothing more than that."

"Okay...so you didn't get married?"

"No Hannah, we didn't get married." His voice was dull. "That would've taken a lot longer don't you think?"

"Beth I still have a chance to be the maid of honor!" His sister's muffled voice erupted.

"I'm driving Hannah!" Beth squealed. "Keep to your side!"

"Ash would be so mad at you if you didn't tell her ya'll got married." Hannah huffed. He heard the sound of a body pressing against cushions. More than likely his sister, grumpy at Beth's reaction.

"We didn't get married though!" He said. At this point he was struggling to keep his voice low. "How many times do I have to say that."

"Until you get married." Hannah let out heavy laughter. "Okay okay, see you at the dorms bro! Love you!"

He huffed. "Love you too Han."

He lowered his phone and placed it back into the denim pocket of his pants. It was silent again, aside from the sound of tires and Sam's gentle breathing. She tightened her grip onto his jacket to keep from slipping. He held her closer and lightly kissed her head.

She was so cold. It wasn't an understatement, she was freezing. Yet she seemed so peaceful. It was rare.

He sighed and raised his head up to the sky with a smile appearing on his face.

"Goodnight Sammy."


	18. Goodnight

They parked back in the same lot of the university with lights now illuminating the area. Josh lifted up Sam in his arms and hopped off the truck briskly. 

"Oh did little Sammy pass out?" Chris ejected from the vehicle and peered towards her. "Guess I didn't drive to bad after all." He dropped the key's into Josh's jacket pocket and watched as the rest of the group joined them. 

As Mike and Emily joined them Chris gave a comically wave. "Ya'll have fun unpacking." 

"What? Are you two seriously not going to help us?" Mike groaned. "Oh come on man!" 

"No, you guys didn't help us and we're tired!" 

Beth and Hannah sauntered towards the group, although exhausted swam in Beth's eyes. "What's going on?" She muttered. 

"These losers won't help up unpack," Mike remarked. 

"Oh quit complaining you can lift a few boxes." Emily shrugged. "I'm getting a hotel room for the night though." 

Mike snapped his fingers and followed along with Emily as they made their way back to the car. "Well...guess I'm getting a room too!"

"Don't wake up the entire hotel alright?" Chris called out. "Oh and no dancing Mike! We don't want anyone blinded by your moves!" 

"No promises!" 

Matt was waiting in the vehicle for Mike and Emily, as he was forced to join their ride. 

As they all pulled out he watched the tires force their way over the ice for a moment.

Ashley and Jessica were lucky enough to have brought their own ride, so they were nowhere to be found. 

Beth gave an tired sigh. "I'm getting kind of sleepy so I'm going to head off okay?" 

Josh bent down and his sister gave him an affectionate hug. Hannah wrapped her arms around their sister and lifted her off the ground much to the fright of Beth. She flailed her long sweater arms at Hannah while letting out a shocked squeal before Hannah set her delicately onto the concrete. 

"O-okay." She waved lightly and began to take off. "Goodnight you guys!" 

They called out to her with Hannah taking heavy breaths. 

"What're you so tired for?" 

"It's hard lifting people up for me!" She straightened her back and exhaled heavily. "I'm not like you Josh!" She pointed to Chris as they began walking. "Can you lift people up?"

"I'd probably die before their feet were off the ground." Chris admitted. "But to be completely honest I've never tried." 

"Let's see then!" Hannah jumped up without warning reaching her arms out towards Chris. He took a quiet step backwards and Hannah landed pitifully on the ground. She sprawled out with a saddened expression. "Aw Chris, why must you betray me?" 

He squatted down and pat her forehead lightly. "I didn't want to risk dying." 

"Josh beat him up for me!" 

He huffed and readjusted his grip on Sam. "That'd be kind of hard right now don't you think? I'm sort of carrying Sammy." 

"So...if you weren't carrying Sammy you'd beat him up for me?" 

"I'd probably just delete all of his David Bowie songs to be completely honest." 

Chris gasped and smacked his hands onto his cheeks. "That's a fate worse than death!" 

Hannah stumbled to her feet and gave a devious smile. "Than that's the fate you shall receive!" 

As Chris weakly opened the entrance door the rest of them gave excited looks as warmth spread through their entire bodies. 

"I love indoors Josh." Hannah stated. "Did I ever tell you how much I love indoors." 

"Yeah, probably for about ten years you've been telling me that." He replied. He gave her a comedic smile as she hung onto his shoulders. 

"Well, it's because I do!" 

"You still have the key though right?" 

"Yes I do Prince Charming." Hannah cooed. "Give her the kiss of life!" 

"That's really creepy." He frowned and furrowed his brow with concern. 

"Oh, it's just a romantic fairy tale way or speaking Joshie." 

"Only Sammy can call me that." Josh's voice was low but despite everything had a uplifting tone to it. 

"Really? That's so adorable!" She excitedly clapped her hands. "You two are just...just meant for each other." 

"I've seen more than a nickname to determine that." Chris muttered under his breath. Josh's eyes widened with a hint of anger as Hannah twisted her head to him. 

"What?" She cried. "What happened?" 

"Would you two quiet down a bit. Sammy's asleep." 

"Oh...right." Chris chuckled nervously and hid his hands in his pocket. "We'll quiet down a bit." 

They made their way towards Hannah and Sam's room with the lights beginning to dim around them. Their footsteps were light, but the floor still creaked with each bit of movement.

Hannah snatched out the keys and unlocked the door in a set of seconds. 

"Enter my humble abode." She smoothly said. "It's welcome to...just ya'll -I don't really want that many people in here actually." 

The room was pitch black as he could only see objects due to the hallway's lights. Yet he could just barely make out Sam's bed. 

"We'll head over to the room now okay?" Chris gave a light smile. "Meet you there?" 

"Yeah sure." Josh nodded and watched his friends leave his vision. He clumsily attempted to pull back the blankets, while he halfway succeeded it was rather messy in the end. 

Although it wasn't the neatest thing he'd ever done he still set her down gently onto the bed and pulled the blankets onto her. As he pulled his hand away he heard Sam's nearly mute voice. 

"J-Josh?" She mumbled. "T-That's you right?" 

"Yeah it's me Sammy." He smiled softly and knelt down in front of her. "What is it?" 

"T-Thanks Joshie." She murmured. "I knew I could count on you." 

"Of course you can." He lightly laughed and prepared to get up. "I always got your back." 

A smile grew onto her face as she sunk her head into her pillow. "Goodnight Joshie." 

As he rounded towards the other side he lightly cracked an affectionate grin. "I'll see you tomorrow Sammy."

He then slowly closed the door letting the darkness entirely seep into Sam's room, where he could barely hear her comforted breathing, but could still see her loving smile.


	19. Memories

As he entered his own dorm he found Hannah collapsed on his bed and Chris sprawled out onto the carpet with his hands digging into the fibers. "Oh, Josh you're back!" He gave a thrilled expression. "Guess what I recorded?" 

"Oh, what?" He asked. "Another one of those knock-off movies?" 

He rolled onto his stomach and clapped his hands. "You got it!" 

"Whoo-hoo," Hannah muttered in a monotone voice. "Go ahead and play it." 

"Yes, ma'am!" They watched the movie brighten on the screen revealing, well...a rather bad film to say the least. "It's such high-quality man." 

"It looks like a project I had to make in fifth grade," Josh replied. He sat down on the frame of his bed. Hannah began to mess with his hair as she laughed lightly at the pure atrocity of the film. 

"That's the beauty of it Joshie!" Chris cried. "It's so...so wonderful." 

"Chris this is why I worry about you." Josh retorted. "I mean you didn't twerk like Mike...but I mean this is still kind of worrying." 

"Let's just not even bring that up." Chris pointed out. 

"Just hope he was good." Hannah snickered. "How bad could he really have been." 

"About as good at Chris is at dancing." 

"Don't insult my dancing!" Chris's eyes widened. "I am the best dancer you will ever meet!" 

"Best equals worst in this situation," Hannah muttered. Josh laughed lightly while Chris puffed out his chest and huffed. 

"Oh at least humor me." 

"Alright, alright," Josh replied. "We'll just have to see at some point huh?" 

"Yeah...at some point." 

"Like at you and Sam's wedding," Hannah whispered. Josh's eyes widened and his cheeks became a light shade of red. 

"Hannah!" He whipped his head towards her and she let out manically laughter. 

"It will happen!" 

"Stop with your weird fantasies right now Hannah! I'm trying to watch a movie!" 

"They are not fantasies they are visions of the future!" She cried. "And they will happen!" 

"Okay, but they're not going to happen now alright?" Josh turned his head towards her. "So for right now, they're fantasies." 

His sister groaned and collapsed back onto the bed. "Don't ruin my dreams, Josh." 

"I'm not, I'm being practical." He shrugged. "Not that I dislike the idea of being in a relationship with her." 

"You don't just like it even." Hannah lowered her voice only for it to erupt in volume. "You love it! Just like you love her." 

"Oh stop with that." Josh snapped. "What even gives you that idea?" 

"You're a lot nicer to her than with anyone else." Chris blurted out. "Like seriously, you're like a total gentleman man." 

"Well, of course, it's Sammy." Josh shrugged. His words weren't convincing even to himself who knew the truth. That their words were true. 

That he was deeply in love with Sammy. 

But Hannah would probably have a heart attack if she ever became aware. 

"Just...the way you look at her!" Hannah messed up his hair and giggled. "It's so...so perfect!" 

"Han, calm down." Chris chuckled. "Don't get too excited there." 

Josh slumped down and yawned lightly. 

Hannah smacked him on his forehead softly. "Don't go yawning on me!" She lowered her voice so Chris wouldn't be able to hear her. "We've still go to head to the coffeehouse. I brought the best magazines, for the best quizzes!" 

"Han-" 

"You'll answer them even if I have to control your hand, do you understand me?" She narrowed her eyes and scowled. 

"Fine, fine I get your point." He nodded slowly. "But can I at least take a nap?" 

"A quick one." 

"Thank you." 

It didn't take too long, for the sound of the television to dull and Chris's laughter to fade more and more away. His eyelids grew heavy and his heartbeat slowed. It wouldn't be for long, but very quickly at least sleep took hold of him. 

His eyes lit up as he stepped out of the vehicle, wide-eyed and a smile plastered on his face. His younger sisters followed behind him stepping out onto the concrete. It was a rather new school. At least to them, the building itself had been set up for years. Decades, maybe even. Yet when you're in fourth grade and third grade, it didn't really happen to matter.

As his mind drifted he felt his best friend's arms wrap around him. "Josh!" Chris cried. "Aw man, I was so alone!" 

"What do you mean?" They began making their way to the front of the school, waiting for someone to allow the large group of children inside. "I thought you had tons of friends." 

"Do you really think that anyone other than you would come so early though?" 

"Really no one else?" Beth asked in a high-pitched voice. Even back then she preferred long cardigans or jackets to hide her small hands. 

"Nope. Glad I got you three now though!" 

"Have you ever tried?" Josh asked.

"Well, there's been a couple people." Chris shrugged. "But I mean, they're all kind of boring." 

"What about her?" Josh pointed towards a young girl with wheat-like blonde hair. She nearly had a sort of glowing green eyes. Even back then he found himself getting caught in them. "She doesn't look boring." 

Her hair was tied into little pigtails with a hair clip keeping random strands from falling in front of her face. "If she doesn't look that boring to you, why don't you try and talk to her?"

"Fine. I will." He leaned towards his friend, with his eyes narrowing in determination. 

He strolled towards the girl, his hands hidden in the shelter of his jacket pockets. She lifted up with her, with those eyes lighting up in confusion. "H-Hi." 

"W-what?" She pointed to herself. "Are you talking to me?" 

"There's no one else in front of me." He remarked. "A-are you new here?" 

She nodded hastily. "Y-yeah." 

"Looks like you need some friends then right?" He tilted his head to the side, his eyes beginning to glow with interest. 

"I-I guess." She frowned, realizing just how alone she was. "W-why?" 

"Well, I'm Joshua Washington, but I like Josh better." He smiled brightly and reached out for a handshake. "We can be friends...if you want?" 

She lifted up her head, something similar to that of a smile growing on her face. "R-really?" 

"Of course, but friends have to know each other's names right?" 

She hesitantly took his hand and shook it with that thing similar to a smile now growing exactly into one. "R-right...My name's Samantha, but...I like Sam better."


	20. Heading Out

He awoke to Hannah's hands playing with his hair, as well her repeating her voice but the hair was what bothered him most personally. "Josh, Josh come on!" She raised her voice eventually. "Come on Chris is asleep." 

"W-what?" He lowered his gaze and found Chris with his legs on his bed and the rest laid out on the carpet. He was very fast asleep though despite what should be a rather uncomfortable position though.

"Great! I finally got you up!" She hopped up, revealing a small satchel around her. "We don't even have to bother Sam, I always have my secret stash." 

"Are you serious about this?" Josh asked. "I'm sure it's probably late Hannah." 

"Please? You said you'd come." She widened her eyes and gave a pleading expression. "I won't bother you at all tomorrow with this, I promise!" 

"Oh fine." Josh groaned, and slowly got to his feet. "But I'm driving still." 

"Fine by me, I'm worse than Chris after all!" Hannah seemed to have a bounce to each step as they came to the door. "Let's go then!" 

"Don't go too fast." He said. They entered the hallway and he noticed the way Hannah was nearly jogging down the hallway. "What's the time anyways?" 

"Midnight!" She called. 

"Then what coffeehouse is going to be open at this time?" 

"Oh, you know as good as I do that there's only one we really have on our mind!" She snapped her fingers before pressing the elevator door. "And that one might as well be open 24/7." 

He huffed and let out a minor chuckle as the elevator doors opened. He followed Hannah inside and slumped against the walls. 

"Josh?" Hannah lifted up her head and a bright smile came to her face. "Thanks for putting up with me." 

Josh pulled his sister into an affectionate hug and laughed lightly. "Well I'm your brother, aren't I? I'll put up with anything for you and Beth." 

"And Sam." Hannah laughed as Josh pushed her back with red already rising to his cheeks. "It's true though isn't it?" 

"You just want to hear me confess about something." Josh narrowed his eyes. 

"Come on you know exactly what it is." She snickered. "Just admit it!" 

"I'll admit something small if you skip practice." He smiled deviously as Hannah gasped. 

"W-what?" 

"You're really good as it is, so missing one practice shouldn't be that big of a deal." He shrugged. "You're not even required, you just really like tennis." 

She took a deep breath. "A-alright!" She raised her voice. "Now tell me your confession!" 

"Okay." He lowered himself to face her. "I would actually love to be in a relationship with Sammy." 

She squealed and pressed her hands on his cheeks. "Aw, Joshie you've grown up so much!" When she inhaled it was rocky and rough like she was struggling to breathe. "Oh, it's so perfect!" 

He removed her hands and stood up straight a sheepish smile now on his bright red face. 

"You two were meant for each other!" She screeched. "Oh, I can barely contain myself!" 

"Hannah, just cause I wouldn't mind it doesn't mean Sam wouldn't." Josh placed his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "It kind of is about the two people being okay with it and accepting the offer. Not you dying in an elevator." 

"Don't ruin my fun, Josh!" She nearly collapsed as the elevator came to a halt and the doors parted. 

"Come on, freak out in the truck alright?" 

"Yes, sir!" 

He listened to his sister's giddy laughter and the crunching of ice beneath them as they reached the outdoors. The wind had grown softer and now instead of raging heavily, it seemed to brush past you gently instead. 

He slipped into the truck with Hannah following, sitting in the seat beside him. "Okay, so what'd you bring?" 

"I brought all the best questionnaires your little heart could desire Josh." Hannah clapped her hands before hauling out two from her bag. "The best, my twenty bucks could buy!"

"You've already taken them?" He asked. "Well...are you and Mike meant for each other?" 

He watched her face erupt into red and she covered her face with her hands. "They said it would take a lot of effort!" She pressed against the cushion and lowered her hands. "They betrayed me." 

"Well...Mike takes a lot of effort to tolerate sometimes, I can only imagine that's why Emily is so grouchy." 

"But it hasn't betrayed you!" She threw him a small magazine that smacked his face before dropping to the ground. "You still have hope!" 

"You know Hannah, I know you've got this big ole' crush on Mike and everything, but you can't do anything while Emily's with him." He gave her a concerned look. "That'd be really wrong, you know that right?" 

Her face fell, and she furrowed her brow. "I...I know." She clenched her hands into fists, tensing. 

"Em may not be the best person, but she's our friend, that'd really hurt her if you did that." 

"I know, I know!" She took a shaky breath. "But I feel like I'm reaching my breaking point, Josh!" 

"It's okay Han, you'll make it through it." He gave her a light smile. "You've gone through worse, besides if it really doesn't work out you can always talk to Beth, Sam, or I." 

She nodded weakly, wiping bubbling tears from her eyes. "R-right." She took a deep breath. "Thank you, Josh..." She tilted her head up towards the roof of the car. "Y-You're the best." 

He shook his head and patted her shoulder before beginning to pull out of the parking lot. "No, I'm not Hannah." He gave her a grin and chuckled. "That honor goes to you."


	21. Questionnaire

The coffeehouse's lights were surprisingly bright as they entered with a few other people even still lounging about. The tile floors were like a checkerboard, most white and black. The walls were a soft color similar to that of the chairs or booths.

They sat down on bar stools facing out towards the windows. Hannah whipped out a stack of magazines her eyes flaring with passion. "Oh yeah, it's time!" She threw him out, preparing to pound her fists on the table with elation. "Are you and your crush meant for each other?" She read the title aloud, sliding him a coal black pen. "Why don't we go ahead and see Joshua?" 

"Really-" 

"It's ten questions Josh, just scribble the pen everywhere I don't care just take it!" She giggled like a little child. "Do it for me!" 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes!" She snapped. "Okay, okay I'll take a quiz while you take one. That way I can't really tease you for anything cause I just took one." 

"Oh fine." He grumbled. 

The questions themselves were rather strange. Embarrassing for him of course, that was apparent from the very beginning. 

The first question nearly killed him inside. How often do you think about your crush? This much was enough to make him just give up on life in general. He answered it quietly, nearly breaking the paper as he scribbled it in. 

How often do you and your crush talk to each other? He frowned already feeling heat rise to his cheeks. How did Hannah survive these things? Such an idea was unknown to him, and he was clearly suffering because of this. But they did speak every day for quite a long time, especially in person.

What do you like about your crush? Was there a circle labeled everything? When he found that there was, in fact, was not one, he quickly just made his own circle. If anyone ever found this...Josh couldn't even imagine. 

How do you feel around your crush? He held his breath as he began to fill in the all of the above. This wasn't exactly the worst thing he'd ever done, but it certainly made the top ten list somewhere in his mind. 

Do you dress up for them? Josh never really dressed up for anyone, not even his parents, much to their disdain.

However, with Sam, he supposed he always found himself attempting to fix his hair or roll up the sleeves of his jacket. 

That was in a sense of the way dressing up...right? He at least cared about how he looked to her. 

That was more than what he could say for most.

Do you tell your friends about them? That question was perplexing to an extent.His friends were very aware of Sammy, and they relished in the idea of them. Of course, Josh had known Sam the longest, but that was aside from the point. 

If you could get the courage to ask them out would you? That answer was rather straightforward. 

How do they act around you? That wasn't an unusual question, pretty expected. How Sammy acted though...wasn't very strange. She did act a lot softer though in a way, she certainly smiled quite a bit and she was sweeter to him than the rest.

Are you happy with them? That question had no hesitation. It was as if no matter what she could make him happy. It was as easy as blinking.

How long have you known each other? A rather long time, that was easy to say but nearly a full decade Sam has been in his life. It was at this point it'd be hard to imagine his life without her. 

Do you want to spend the rest of your life with them? He could feel his heart stop, and his face if it hadn't already exploded into red. He folded his lips and furrowed his brow. His hand with the pen was even trembling. He did answer honestly though of course, but it felt like the weight of the world collapsed onto him in that moment. 

"Are you done?" Hannah cooed. "You better be done, Josh." 

"Yeah, yeah I am." 

"Then let's see what you put!" She laughed manically. As she arrived at the last question she batted her eyelids and gave a devious smile. "You're in love with her~." She said softly. 

"Hannah..." He groaned. "don't do this." 

"It's not me this time!" She raised her voice. "You're the one who put yes, that you do want to spend the rest of your life with them!" She viciously pointed at the circle he filled in. "That was you!"

"So what if I do?" He tilted his head towards her. 

"Do you?" She leaned forward, her eyes widening with impatience. 

"W-well, it's not like I don't!" 

"So...you do?" 

He threw his hands up in the air, finally admitting it, albeit reluctantly. "Fine! Yes, yes I do!" 

Hannah had never made such a high-pitched sound in her life. He couldn't tell what she said, but she threw her arms around him and squeezed him tightly. She might have been crying a bit he wasn't sure. But he heard plenty of wheezing. 

When her words finally became audible it was enough to leave him flustered. "Aw, Josh you don't know how long I've waited to hear you say those words!" She squealed. "You're finally admitting your love for Sammy!" 

"I never said that-" 

"But you do." 

He didn't deny it but simply didn't say anything. He knew easily that it was yes, there wasn't a single doubt in his mind that he was in love with Sammy. 

But the day he let Hannah be clearly made aware of this was the day he'd simply give up on life. 

As his sister clung to him, a grungy heap of tears and giggles he felt his phone vibrate. He snatched it out, feeling himself prepare to eject from the seat as he saw it was from none other than Sammy. 

'Uh...where are you guys? I just woke up, and I can't go back to sleep.' 

He pulled his sister's arms off of him and shot out of his seat. As he clasped his hand around the door handle Hannah messily attempted to sort the magazines back together. "Okay, okay hold your horses there!" She took a deep breath. "Okay, two things...don't you want to know your test results? Oh and...why are you about to ram yourself through those doors?" 

"S-Sammy."


	22. Music Composition

"You guys got soulmates by the way." Hannah cried as they drove down the road. "They must be able to see the future like me, cause they say you two are meant for each other!" She clapped her hands and stomped her feet on the floor. "This might just be the best day of my life Josh!

"You know if you're so excited you might as well start making your own fake little wedding invitations." 

Hannah leaned forward, narrowing her eyes with determination. "You want that hand-written calligraphy or computer fancy fonts?" She crinkled her nose. "I'm not playing games when it comes to my dream couple's wedding!" 

"Jeez Hannah, don't you think this would creep out most people or something?" 

"Uh...there's a whole website full of people like me mister!" She snapped. "Maybe not this exact couple...but I mean they're just as bad if not worse!" 

"That really worries me actually." He pointed out. "Like how many people-" 

"Thousands! Millions even!" 

"Then I'm worried about the possible millions of people Hannah." 

"Such a sweetie." She patted his cheek like a pet or something or the sort. "Sam's a lucky gal!" 

He felt his hands tighten around the steering wheel and his face grow red. "Oh, are we really-" 

"I will always do it until the day I die, Josh!" Her voice was tight and stern.

"You know you should ask her out when we get to the lodge," Hannah said as they exited the elevator. "That'd be so cute, you wouldn't even need to get me a birthday present." She huffed. "Except you would, because I like presents." 

They approached Sam's door and he heard the smooth, silky sound of a viola. A smile came to his face and Hannah jabbed him. "That's the beautiful sound of your girlfriend~." 

Josh took a long exasperated breath before lightly knocking on the door. "Sammy? You texted me?" 

"Josh!" Her voice lit up and the music stopped. She quickly opened the door and appeared with a smile on her face. "Hannah!" She let out a bit of nervous laughter. "For awhile there I thought you guys had gone and disappeared on me!" 

"Nah Sammy." He shook his head. "Just a mix of bad movies, and a coffeehouse." 

"Sounds like fun." She chuckled. 

"So...what're you playing?" Hannah asked. "Sounded like some rockin' tunes." She began to shoot her head up and down as if she was at a heavy metal concert. 

"Only the heaviest music for me Han." She sat down on her bed and handed them her sheet music. It was sketchy and a bit messy but still legible. "My music teacher wanted us to try and compose some of our own music for a change. It's kind of hard, but I like what I've got so far." 

"Hannah, you can read music right?" Josh lowered his voice. He personally, hadn't ever played an instrument aside from a piano. And he had scarce knowledge of that even. Beth only taught him so she could giggle at his mistakes when he accidentally played a wrong note. 

"Uh...yeah last time I checked Josh." She smiled lightly. "This looks awesome Sam." 

"Really?" Her eyes lit up. "Josh...I know you can't read music and all but...It's okay I promise." 

"I don't doubt it." He admitted. "I know a couple...of the notes. I mean Han and Beth made me read some of their music to them for practice when we were younger. Just kind of stuck in my head you know?" 

She lifted up her viola and raised a curious eyebrow. "You know I think that they might be a bit different than these notes." 

"Well go ahead and play and we'll see." 

She took a nervous breath. "S-sorry I'm kind of nervous I don't play in front of people often." 

"Oh well, there's no way you're possibly worse than me," Josh remarked. "Besides, if you can just kind of play an instrument that's amazing enough." 

"Sure do know how to charm a girl don't you Joshie?" 

"Oh come on, I know it's not the best support but I'm sure it's great." He and Hannah sat down, slumping against each other's backs. "Go ahead and play!" 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes Sammy, I'm positive." 

"Go for it, hun!" Hannah clapped her hands. "Don't even bother worrying about it!" 

She lifted up her viola shakily and pressed her bow against the string. It was a soft tune at first simply dancing against his ears to an extent. Then as the notes changed and shifted it grew louder and far more intense. Yet it still felt gentle to his ears. A melodic tone that was now a kind tune. It caused a smile to come to his face and stretch from ear to ear. 

He even noticed how tranquil Sam appeared. Her eyelids were softly examining each note and her fingers moved swiftly across the viola. It was as if the rest of them faded away with her music, and that was all that existed in time. 

Even Hannah was silent, merely a soft smile on her face. She quietly hummed along, sliding her finger in the air along with the height of the note. 

He took silent breaths and tapped his foot quietly. The long notes hung in his ears like something slowly striding along a glade. The quick notes were like thunder, loud and booming. 

As she lowered her viola she exhaled heavily. "You guys liked it?" 

"Wow." He chuckled and turned his head towards her. "Sammy that was fantastic!" 

Her cheeks grew a little red and only darkened as Hannah clapped her hands.

"That's my girl!" She cheered. "Brings a tear to my eye!" 

She sat down on her knees in front of the two and began to wipe down underneath the strings with a cloth. "I'm glad I played to you two then." She looked up at the two of them. "You were sure fast though." 

"You should've seen Josh!" Hannah teased. "He practically flew out that window!" 

"Really?" Sam raised her eyebrows. "What a sweetheart." She spoke in a comical tone and continued to cleanse her instrument. 

"I've got a heart of gold don't I?" He laughed lightly and Hannah clutched her chest. 

"Then that means I must have a heart, as dark as my soul!" She gasped comedically and placed more weight on Josh's shoulders. "I feel it fading. Can't you two feel it?" 

"Oh yeah...totally. I even see it drifting off."

Hannah gave a dramatic sigh and reached out her hand. "It's so close yet so far." She yawned and pulled back her hair. "Or you know...I could just be getting tired." 

"Aren't you always tired?" 

"That's not the point Josh I require my beauty sleep!" He stood up and assisted his sibling to his feet. "Well then you better be getting off to bed don't you think?"

"I don't need my beauty sleep that bad!" She replied as she collapsed onto her bed. "It's not that much..." 

She couldn't finish as she already passed out mere seconds after her head sank into the pillow.


	23. Sleep

Sam began to place her instrument back into her case as Hannah began to lightly snore. "I wonder how loud she was when you guys were little." 

"Our mom used to make up stories to her friends saying it was so loud that windows shook." Josh chuckled lightly and leaned up against the wall. "Of course that...that didn't happen but she was pretty loud."

"I can only imagine." Sam smiled and quietly laughed as Hannah let out another snore. "Did you ever snore?" 

"I hope not." He wrapped his fingers around his throat nervously. "Jeez, Han and Beth would never stop teasing me if I did." 

"I'm pretty sure I'd even tease you if you did." Her smile softly began to fade and she raised her head. "Josh...what did I ask you on the truck ride home? The whole thing's kind of fuzzy in my head." 

"O-oh well....you asked me how you could tell if you're in love." He lowered his hand, but still felt the tight clasp around his throat. 

"Did I say I-I was in love?" She awkwardly folded her lips and stiffened her body. "Did I say w-who?" 

"Well, that's a two part answer. You did say you were in love, but you didn't tell me who." The only thing he could do at the moment was try to keep cool. He wanted to blurt something out, ask if it was him by some miraculous chance...but he stayed quiet, waiting for a response.

"Oh thank goodness." She slumped over, pressing a bright red hand against her forehead. 

"Are you actually in love with someone Sammy?" He asked. He could notice his heart beating a bit quicker, and his legs feeling as if they'd snap and he'd collapse onto the ground. 

"O-Oh uh...well..." She tilted her head from side to side as if both parts of her brain were arguing. "Y-yeah." Her voice was quiet, barely a whisper. Was she hoping he wouldn't hear her? 

"Really?" He couldn't help but feel the very corners of his lips tilt upwards in a smile. 

"Y-yeah but...you know I'm actually getting kind of tired!" She took shaky breaths and grabbed onto the pockets of his jacket as she lead him towards the door. "I-I'm gonna go head off to sleep!" 

"Sam-" 

"Goodnight Josh!" 

She opened the door and he twisted back and set his hands on her shoulders. "It's okay if you don't want to tell me, Sammy." He did feel a bit of despair grow inside of him, but he remained in a positive disguise for the most part. "It's your feelings, you can only tell me if you want to." He gave a supportive expression. "That's your decision, you don't have to feel like you have to." 

She took a deep breath and she gave a soft look in her eyes. "T-thanks Joshie." She leaned upwards and lightly kissed his cheek. "I really appreciate it." 

He took a step back gave her a wave as the door was shut. "Goodnight Sammy." 

Yet as the door was shut he was still rather in shock at the kiss on his cheek. It didn't matter how many times it would happen because each one was going to shock him. 

He walked down towards his own dorm a bit of a bounce in each step. He slipped in the keys and entered still finding Chris in the exact same position. He lightly nudged his friend with his foot. "Cochise, come on get up." 

Chris groaned and smacked Josh's boots lazily with his hands. "You can't control me...maybe I like the carpet." 

"Oh please, you'll be complaining the entire day about your back if you don't get up." 

"But if I get into bed, it'll be even harder to get out in the morning." 

"We don't have class or anything, we don't even have anything planned." Josh pointed out. "You can stay in bed all day for all I care." 

"Really?" His voiced lightened up a bit and he hauled himself up onto the bed. "Well, that'd be the best thing ever." 

"Go for it, I'm not going to be doing that though." 

"What're you going to be doing then? Seducing Sam?" 

Her face grew a bright red and he let out awkward laughter. "N-no!" 

"Aw, Little Joshie's got a crush!" 

"I'll get you donuts in the morning if you stop," Josh said briskly. Chris's eyes lit up. 

"Please?" He tightened his hands into fists. "I love donuts man." 

"Then stop!" He laid against his own bed at this point, his stomach tied into knots and his heart hastily beating. "No donuts if you keep going with that." 

"Please man, my life revolves around donuts!" 

"No, it doesn't." 

"I'm being more dramatic so you're more likely to get me donuts Joshie!" He cried. "Josh I'll wake up the whole university if you don't!" 

"Okay, okay I'll get your donuts calm down!" He chuckled and sank into his bed. "Just let me sleep." 

"But I want donuts now!" 

"If you don't go to bed then I won't get you donuts!" He retorted. "So just wait till it's morning or something alright?" 

"I'm waking you up the moment that sun comes up." 

Josh set the blankets atop of him and laid on his side. They hadn't exactly set up any decorations so his eyes were greeted with a bare wall. "Just remember, I probably won't wake up then." 

"You'll do it if I get Sam to come with you!" 

"Don't drag poor Sam into your breakfast schemes." He snapped. "I'll probably stop by my parent's house anyway to go check on Beth. I'll be out anyways." 

"You better keep your word to that!" 

"Okay Cochise, I'll get your donuts...in the morning."


	24. A Promise

Sleep had taken hold of him rather hastily, but the sunlight had shown up even faster. It crept through the windows slowly, a muted and dull sunlight, but still sunlight nonetheless. Chris was still passed out, with a limp hand hanging on the edge. 

He swung his legs over the edge, running his fingers through his messy hair for a second. It wasn't even ten yet, but he was positive that someone in his family would be awake. More than likely Beth, with her piano...but maybe his mother or father. 

He found himself, still in yesterday's clothes even. He at least changed his jacket and shirt, it wasn't worth that much effort. His beanie still was on the floor, he nearly forgot about it, to be honest. Yet his hair was messy and it was an easy out of the situation. 

He placed it on his head and slipped out the dorm room, swinging his keys around his index finger. He heard a few sounds of other people, but for the most part, it was silent. As far as he knew he hadn't even received a single text of anything like that. 

Exiting the building was pretty swift as well, considering not many were up. This was making it appear relaxing as even slipping out of the parking lot was simple. He snatched out his phone and began to call Beth. 

Her voice was in no way tired but was quiet compared to the piano keys he heard in the background. "Josh?" She said. "Hey!" 

"Hey, Beth!" He couldn't help but have a smile come to his face at the voice of his sister. "Are you playing the piano?" 

"Better than you can!" Beth chuckled lightly. "Are you on your way here? I can try and make breakfast if you want." 

"Nah, I'll just pick up some donuts on the way back here. Chris was begging for them last night anyways." 

"Oh really? Sounds like him." He heard a bit of tiny laughter. "Well then go ahead and get yourself on over here! Mom and Dad are going to be so happy to hear you're coming over!" 

"Yeah, I'm sure." His mother and father weren't the real reason he was going there, but it didn't lessen anything. They weren't bad parents, just were around as much as they should've been. It did contribute to his close relationship with Hannah and Beth, and for that much he was grateful.

"Oh come on you know they will." 

"I'm sure, I'm sure." He nodded along, a bit towards the music quietly playing on the radio. "Now just hang tight I'll be there in a bit." 

"You better, who else is going to withstand the strength of my noodle-arms?" She giggled at her owns words and took a light breath.

"Anyone, they're not exactly known for being strong Beth." He replied.

"J-Just get over here Joshua!" 

"I'm on my way, don't worry." He laughed softly. "Just don't get your noodle-arms into any trouble." 

The house was made of stone and bricks of a light brown shade that mixed well with the rather dark color of the roof. Snow was scattered about, even still with soft amounts cascading down to the ground. 

Through the windows, he slightly saw a form similar to Hannah but mostly that towards the furniture and such.

He knocked on the door, rocking his feet lightly as he heard footsteps come forward. 

Beth opened the door, her frown instantly being replaced with a smile as she pulled him into a tight hug. Her pajamas consisted or cotton pants with corny jokes on scattered about and one of her gigantic sweaters.

"Josh!" She nearly seemed to squeal as she pulled him in. "You're here!" 

"It didn't even take me that long, why you're so excited?" 

"Oh come on we all know once school starts you're not going to be able to see often!" She gave a slightly sad look. "I just want to spend as much time with you, before that idea is impossible."

Josh pulled his sister close as they headed towards the piano. "Aw Beth, all you'd ever have to do is send me a text, and I'd stop everything for you!" 

She gave a supported expression and sat down on the seat. "T-thanks." 

"So, what have you been working on?" He asked. 

"It's kind of old, you probably wouldn't know it, but it's called Lacrimosa." 

"Beth, I didn't really ever study classical music. I only know the really famous ones." He shrugged and gave a nervous chuckle. 

"It's made by the Mozart guy?" 

"Okay, that's good enough." He shrugged. "Mind if I hear some?" 

The song, of course, was soft, contributing much towards Beth's personality. Her fingers moved softly against the keyboard, leaning closer towards the lighter sounds. 

For the beginning, she remained stone-faced only occasionally looking down towards the keys. 

The song was nearly sweet, he could feel a sort of warm feeling inside of him. He became more relaxed and found himself swaying to the beat. In his mind, he saw soft movements of light reflecting with the tone. 

Yet he came to begin a soft sniffling from his sister. Her hands applied more pressure to the keys and each note seemed to resonate in his body as if he were hollow. He leaned downwards and tapped her shoulder. "Beth-" 

Her hands slid off the keys slowly and he noticed tears beginning to stain the white keys. "Beth!" He raised his voice but still kept it to a considerable amount. "Beth look at me." 

She raised her head, with tears brimming in her eyes. "J-josh...have you ever been scared?" 

"Of course, who hasn't?" 

"H-have you ever...ever been scared of d-death?" Her voice was barely a whisper, she appeared nearly embarrassed to admit such a thing. 

"There's nothing wrong with being scared of it you know." He gave a soft smile. "Why're you scared though?" 

"C-cause what if you die on your way back today? What if Hannah gets killed? W-What if...what if I'm gone by next week?" Her chin quivered and she crunched her hands into fists. "I-I'm so scared of you guys not being in my life! I'm scared of n-not having my life!" 

"Beth!" He pulled her close, enough to hear her quickening heartbeat. It was like a drum, but even more thunderous and violent. 

"I-I don't want you to die first! I-I don't want to have to attend your funeral one day...and watch your coffin go into the ground...I don't want to be left to rot in some casket." She coughed weakly, the tears now flowing freely down her cheeks. 

"What's making you think all this?" 

"C-cause you're going off to college, soon you'll graduate, get married, have kids, and then...next thing I know I'll be staring at your gravestone." Her voice was dark and sorrowful. "Or...you'll be staring at mine." 

"Don't talk like that!" He said. "You're going to live a happy life do you hear me?" He lifted up her head and laughed weakly. "You're going to be the happiest person on this earth okay?" 

She took a shaky breath. "You can't die then alright? Neither you or Hannah are allowed to die!" 

"I can't-" 

"I don't want to have to see you two being sent to the ground, or have to hear some stranger who never even knew you talk about a 'heaven'." Her shoulders trembled and she looked as if she was about to break down again. "L-Let me die first at least, s-so I won't ever have to see your corpse." 

"Stop talking that way-" 

"I'll only be able to die happy if you guys are still alive when it happens, so I know that it won't be your last day. And you'll still remember me...so I don't really have to be dead. Just not here to play this stupid piano." 

He didn't speak a word. 

She took a deep breath and looked up at him with pleading eyes. "Josh...please, as your sister...promise me that you won't be sad when I die, that you'll still smile and remember all my silly mistakes and smiles. Remember me as your sister...and remember me fondly." She chuckled lightly, only to have more tears be squeezed out of her eyes. "Hey, even play the piano for me. But...no matter what I just want...I just want you two to be happy. You can promise me that much right?" 

He sighed even beginning to feel salty tears grow in his own eyes. He couldn't imagine life without Beth. His timid little sister, who always giggled at his jokes, and put up with his own mistakes. Who came and woke him up at night when they were little because the darkness frightened her. Who taught him the childish songs on the piano, and who always came to him for advice. 

He couldn't imagine the pain he'd feel knowing she was gone. But the pain he felt now, seeing her cry...and beg him for this was something close. 

"I...I promise."


	25. Happy

The two of them sat in silence for what felt like hours. He rocked her gently like a small child who awoke due to nightmares. Her sniffling over the time died down and she continued to have quiet, shaky breath. 

He could feel his clothing grow damp from her tears and her grip grew incredibly tighter with each exhalation. 

"I-It's okay Beth." He hummed. "It's alright."

Every part of her was trembling, and he could feel it. 

It left him slightly shaking in the same way, seeing her in such a position. Seeing her appear so weak, helpless, and devastated was so rare in his family.

Since they never saw his father for the most part, any emotions from him would mostly go unnoticed. 

Their mother, mostly maintained a sincere and purely delighted guise. 

And then their children, mostly following in the footsteps of their mother...were rare to show a negative emotion. While Hannah could occasionally have a pessimistic type of humor, she meant well for the most part.

Beth seemed to be the glue that held the family together. 

Her music would soothe their exhausted father when he'd arrive from work some days, she'd remain calm in the most heated situations, and...well...she was supportive towards anyone.

Yet, she wasn't supportive towards herself, when she was so precious to the Washingtons.

"I-I'm sorry." She mumbled. "I must look ridiculous." She sniffled and wiped the tears briskly from her cheeks. "I wanted this to be fun, just a fun day, and I'm sitting here crying!"

"Hey, no it's fine Beth!" He chuckled lightly. "Everyone just has to let it all out at some point. And I have no problem helping you through that."

"T-thanks." Her voice was weak, but seemed a bit stronger than before. "Goodness Josh, thanks for being so fantastic."

"Oh no, don't become all soft on me! I'm just doing my 'not actual but kind of' job." He smiled lightly.

"You know, you're doing really good at that."

"I'm succeeding." He slowly sat up and took her hand, lifting her from the seat. "Now, come on. You can play me some piano tunes later. Getting outside might just help you."

"We were outside all day yesterday though."

"Yeah but, Chris will have my head if I don't get those donuts, and I don't want to leave you here."

"Really-"

"Please?" He gave her a pleading expression and tilted his head like a puppy. "Do it for me! Your favorite brother!"

"You're my only brother-"

"But if I say sibling than I'm insulting Hannah!"

"Oh fine." She shook her head, and chuckled. "Let me change at least. Maybe you can talk to mom or something."

"What-"

"She's in the study room, I'll be a bit."

"Really?"

"Yes, come on she's been dying to see you."

"Do I have to?"

"No donuts, if not." She narrowed her eyes. "Just ten minutes at least."

He huffed and watched his sister make her way down towards her bedroom. The footsteps creaked amongst the floorboards, and left him mentally planning his way out towards the study room.

He took slow steps towards the room, examining the soft pictures of his grandparents, earlier years, or simply holiday photos. His mother was obsessed with a thing called decorating. Melinda was her name, and in a way it fit with the decorating fascination. Each season was a reason to head out towards a store to plaster the home with...well items regarding that of similar holidays.

He knocked on the study door lightly, only for it to creak open along with his mother's voice. "Hello?" He attempted a little smile as Melinda came into view.

"Joshua?" She leaned forward, lowering her novel. "Is that you?"

"Only one like me." He laughed softly. "You just secluding yourself in here?"

"Best thing to do when it's snowing." Her lived-in face seemed to express delight. Her lips curved into a smile and she adjusted her messy bun. "So...did you get all your things put up in your dorm?"

"Just nearly." He shrugged. "Might take another hour or two."

"How's Hannah liking it?"

"Pretty good, about as well as you think she would though."

"Are you and Beth heading out somewhere?" She asked. "I mean surely, you're not going to lay around here and do nothing. It's Winter Break after all."

"Yeah, yeah we're heading out for donuts for Chris."

"Sounds like a real adventure." She chuckled and stood up. It was strange, but her mother was so tiny compared to him. Even shorter than Sammy. It was strange, but his father was that of a taller height.

"Oh yeah, greatest thing ever." He sighed. "Is dad out again?"

"Oh you know, he's out and about doing his thing." She smiled weakly. "He'll be back around six, if you want to have dinner with us though!" Her eyes gleamed with hope and she raised her head up with pride.

He hated to appear rude, or reject his mother's invitation. Yet, he didn't entirely want to. Perhaps if Beth asked, maybe he'd help make the food with his family. But he didn't really see himself sitting at the table again without a bit of tension growing. "Maybe." He hid his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall. "I might be helping Mike and Em move into their dorms."

"Oh what a sweet boy." She attempted to pat him on the head but couldn't reach. So instead she reached onto her tiptoes to pat his shoulder.

"No not-"

He heard the sound of Beth's boots and she peeked her head out from the door. "Josh?" She grinned and wrapped her arms around Melinda in the form of a hug. "Hey mom!"

"Hey honey!" Her voice lightened. "Josh tells me you two are going to go get donuts!" She sat back down, as she knew that the two would be leaving soon.

"Sure am." She nodded. "You'll be alright without me right?"

"Oh right, of course I will be dear." She nodded, a dull glaze coming over her eyes.

Beth folded her lips with doubt upon her face before taking a few steps back. She chuckled lightly and clasped onto Josh's wrist. "O-okay mom." She nodded. "I'll be back before dinner alright?"

Their mother nodded and continued to quietly read, with her voice not mumbling gently with the words.

Beth was quick as if she was trying to avoid it. She didn't even glance at the piano, directly going an entirely different route to avoid contact with it. "B-Beth, hey calm down." She stopped hastily and turned towards him. "We're not on a time limit or anything."

She sighed quickly, rubbing her neck awkwardly for breath. "S-sorry, I just...right now I don't think I'll be very happy in here...I just want to get out you know?"

"Yeah, yeah that's fine." He smiled lightly and set his hands on her shoulders. "Just go slow enough to where I won't ram into walls."

She giggled weakly. "R-right, s-sorry...just I just feel like being happy instead."

He lead her outside and slipped out his car keys. "Then let's see what we can do to help you."


	26. Scars

They slipped into the car with despite his intentions of making his sibling happy, a tinge of fear couldn't help but crawl up his spine. "D-did dad do anything?" 

"What?" Beth lowered her voice to a whisper. She knew exactly what he meant. "Well...I mean, the usual." She chuckled weakly. "You're lucky you got out when you did." 

"Did something happen last night?" Josh asked. "Did he do something?" 

Their father...wasnot the epitome of a good man to say the least. 

He didn't drink or consume his time into drugs or anything like that.

But, was easily one of the most unfaithful men they'd ever met. 

While their mother had helplessly watched on, never having harmed a soul her whole life.

The siblings had found out when Josh was six, the others following behind at five years of age, hiding the study hall late at night due to the sound of yelling erupting from the tiny room. 

Their father had been arriving disheveled, another woman's perfume following his trail. 

It had been avoided for months, maybe even years before their mother exploded. 

He hadn't ever really heard her scream that way. 

Her voice was nearly cut off by the enormous amounts of tears spilling down her cheeks, her eyes shimmering with pain at their father's vacant expression. 

She had held a folder in her hands, screaming for a divorce, or...at least a reason as to why. 

His father had treated this like she was merely overreacting. 

He reached out to touch her shoulder, or scold her like a whining child. His voice was icy and there only seemed to be a distance between her attempts. 

"Bob please!" He could remember her voice so easily. "W-what can I not do?" Her voice lowered to a whisper. "Does this family not even matter!" Her shoulders let go and she tightened her grip onto the folder. "Do your children not matter?" 

His father's weather-beaten face grew into a scowl and he leaned toward their mother. "I'm not having this conversation with you Melinda." 

"Yes, you, are-" 

Their mother's voice had been cut off by the sound of a slap.

It crackled through the house like lightning, resonating from the hallways, and remaining in their ears for what felt like hours. Their mother collapsed onto the ground, a shivering hand attempting to hide the bright red mark. 

"I will not have this conversation." He grabbed onto the folder. "And I will not be signing this ridiculous papers." 

The three of them, stood in the hallway too in shock to move. Their mother's tears had done anything but lessen and he heard Hannah beginning to sniffle. 

All Josh could really do was watch as their father came closer toward the door, his eyes flowing with clouded anger. 

It had only increased as he saw the three children at the door.

His eyes had widened and a scowl formed on his face. Josh had taken a few steps forward, trying to get inside to his mother. But his father had set a cautious hand on his shoulder. 

"Go back to bed Joshua." 

He hadn't ever heard a colder voice. 

"B-but mom." He had raised up his head to meet his father's gaze. "S-She's u-upset." 

"Go back to bed. Now." 

"J-Joshua?" His mother's voice was shaky but attempting to piece back together for the children. 

"Mom-" 

He attempted to take another step towards his mother when he felt his father's arms snap onto his shoulders.

He had felt the pressure of the wall hit him like bricks. His entire body was rammed against it and he felt dribbles of crimson blood sputter from his mouth. His father's eyes for a moment had been rabid, like an animal. Yet as he dropped his hands, and watched his son slump to the ground, blood crawling down his chin, it was replaced with guilt. 

Josh had watched his father rush out, ignoring the fallen shards of glass that had fallen entirely. Their mother ejected after him, her bare feet being cut easily.

Josh had stumbled to his feet, attempting to wipe the blood off his chin, nearly being terrified at the smeared substance now on his hand. 

Hannah and Beth had been silent, too afraid to move. And they stood there in the hallway for what felt like hours to the muffled sound of arguing. 

He nearly felt his heart speeding up from the memory as Beth's voice ended the dark memory. "It was just an accident." 

He turned his head, already taking short deep breaths to calm himself down. His hands were trembling, and he already felt a sort of vexation towards his father grow. She lowered the collar of her sweater to reveal a bruise growing darker upon the tip of her collarbone. "He just meant to push me aside-" 

"D-does it hurt?" His eyes overflowed with concern. "Does mom know?" 

"S-she was sleeping, I-I didn't want to wake her up." Beth lowered her eyes to the floor. "H-He apologized...I-I know he didn't mean to." 

His mind was clouded with frustration, and he felt like tearing out the cushions in the seats. He felt like ripping the car apart. No...he felt like ripping their father apart. "Beth-" 

"C-can I stay in your dorms for awhile?" Her eyes brimmed with tears once more and she lifted up the collar. "Cause it's not always an...an accident." She took a shaky breath. "I don't wanna be a b-bad child...but if I have to deal with him one more day...I think I'll do something I'll regret." 

"Of course." He nodded weakly. "Don't even bother worrying okay?" 

Most of the siblings had scars of their father's 'accidents'. Josh had several scars and stitches only the family was aware of. Not even Chris had seen them. 

But the worst scars were the ones that remained in their mind.


	27. Bakery

The rest of the ride appeared nearly entirely in silence. The music felt abnormal even, to an extent. Each time they hit a red lightly, one of the two would open their mouths to say something, but any words would refuse to come out. 

When they pulled into the parking lot though, it was rather apparent that one of them had to speak up.

"I-I'm going to have dinner with you guys," Josh stated, heading towards the bakery as Beth attempted to stop his quick pace. 

"J-Josh!" She grabbed onto his wrist. "W-what about dad? You know you're going to have to talk to him then." 

He nodded lightly, his eyes beginning to narrow at the very thought of the man. "I know." He huffed, his veins beginning to seemingly grow hot with anger. "And he's not going to be forgetting our talk." 

They entered, Beth still maintaining her worried expression. "Joshua, don't do anything you're going to regret please!" 

"I'm not." He pointed out. "I won't regret a single thing I say." 

He headed towards the counter, his hands clenching into fists as he waited for a cashier of sorts to arrive. "D-don't. Don't make things worse than they have to be." 

"They're already pretty bad Beth. We need mom to get out of there because once you're gone it might as well just be her alone in that house. I don't want her alone with him." 

"What do you think you're going to do? Even if you do get them out it's not like he'll sign any of those divorce papers." 

"That's fine." Josh sighed. "If he wasn't going to sign them back then, it doesn't surprise me that he won't now." He hunched his shoulders over. "But I don't want to see any more scars on you, Hannah, or mom." He furrowed his brow, setting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Just let me try to get you two out okay?" 

Beth took a deep breath, hesitantly nodding. "Alright...alright fine." 

He gave her a weak smile and began to order the desired food. 

He tried a strong voice, and for the most part, he succeeded.

For the most part.

Yet, it was clear to Beth at least that he wasn't in his best state. 

His voice was slightly shaky, and his face was pale with the stress.

"Hey..." Beth lowered her voice and gave him a sweet smile. "Don't let it ruin your day okay? If it goes wrong...then we'll just do our best to fix it." She shrugged. "That's all we really can do." 

"I-I know." He nodded in agreement and gave a small dip of gratitude as the box of doughnuts was handed towards him. The payment was simple and quickly paid in cash, and their exit was simply in quick.

However, for a moment he didn't want to leave the calming area with the peaceful music.

He felt far safer, and he knew once he left he wouldn't be able to run back. 

He'd have to look his father directly in the eyes and do as he said. 

And as much as he may have wished to, the child that had lived before begged otherwise. 

The air was cold once more when they stepped in, not warm mixed with the smell of baked goods. Not that he expected anything less. 

"Why don't you let Chris know that we got his silly doughnuts." Beth pointed out as they entered the truck. "I'm sure it'll just make his day." 

"Y-yeah I guess I could do that." He took a small exhalation of breath before grabbing his phone. He lifted it to his ear and was greeted by his friend's voice of exasperation. 

"W...what?" The voice was groggy and was similar to that of an echo. "J...Josh?" 

"Who else do you think it would be?" He asked. 

"I don't know, you could be a guy named Benjamin for all I know." He groaned and Josh heard the sound of his head collapsing onto a pillow. 

"Okay well, Benjamin and Beth have doughnuts for you." 

"For real? Benjamin, you're my hero!" Chris mimicked a cheering from a crowd. "Please bring those doughnuts to me." 

"Alright, we'll be there in about ten okay?" Josh chuckled. "Are Sam and Han up?" 

"I'll wake them up before you get here." 

Despite it all, the idea of getting to see Sammy brought a warm feeling to his chest, and a smile to his lips.

Nothing really sounded better at the moment, than her bright eyes and cheerful smile. 

"Alrighty, Cochise don't hurt yourself on the journey." 

"I can't make any promises." He heard the thudding onto the floor and Chris groaning. "I might just die on the way there man."

"Do your best not to." Josh laughed softly. "Cause if you die, then you don't get any doughnuts." 

"I need those though!" He raised his voice with determination. "I can't back down now!" 

"So ten minutes then?" 

"Yes, of course, dear Benjamin." He laughed at his own joke. "Yeah, don't dilly dally." 

He lowered his phone. "Cochise is pretty determined about them." He turned his head and found Beth shamelessly already eating one. "Were you that hungry?" 

"Yes!" placed a hand over her mouth to hide the crumbs. "And if you hadn't noticed these are really good!" 

"I don't doubt it." He shook his head. "But you know he's going to be pretty confused as to why there's just one little doughnut missing." 

"Then I will admit my crime!" She gave a valiant roar and nearly choked on the doughnut. "But you can always cover for me if you want." 

"Yeah yeah, have fun with your breakfast." He laughed. "I won't cover for you though, we'll just pretend it never happened." 

"That's good enough don't you think?" Beth asked. "I'm sure there's enough for the rest of them." 

He shrugged and began to pull out of the parking lot, the music beginning to start up again. "We'll just have to see."


	28. Doughtnuts

The ride to the university hadn't been quite as dreary, Josh even snatched a doughnut of his own. The stress inside of him had begun to fade, and hopefully, it wouldn't arise again until dinner. 

Yet even as they came to the dorm door he felt it leaving his body, allowing the tension to leave him. 

He unlocked the door, revealing Chris sprawled out on the floor much like Hannah who laid beside him. Sam leaned against the frame of Josh's bed scribbling something in a journal. She lifted her head and grinned at the two of them.

"Hey, you two!"

Josh could already feel a hint of red crawling to his cheeks. 

"You brought the doughnuts?" Chris attempted a deep, threatening voice but ended up coughing excessively. 

"Of course I did." He set the box near him and opened the lid. "What kind of Benjamin would I be?" 

"A really bad one." Chris furrowed his brow and snatched one briskly. Hannah lifted up the blanket for her twin to join her and they engaged in a conversation. 

Sam raised her head to look at Josh still as he sat down beside her. "Well, good morning Joshie."

"Morning Sammy." He smiled lightly. "Did ya' get enough sleep?" 

"Sure did." She nodded. "Did you?" 

"Kind of." He shrugged. "It wouldn't hurt to get a bit more." 

"Maybe you can get some more later?" She mentioned. "I wouldn't think you're doing all that much." 

"N-no I'm not." He could feel his shoulders tightening as he remembered the dinner. "But...I am going to be a bit busy." 

"Doing what?" She asked. 

"Dinner with my p-parents." Just merely mentioning it made his throat tighten up. 

"Oh, well that'll be fine." She laughed lightly. "Your mom's a real sweetheart after all." She frowned awkwardly. "I've never met your dad though."

"Well...if you want you could tonight?" He knew that if he had Sam around he'd refrain from fighting. He'd be able to hold his tongue and hold back a potential fight. 

She always seemed to make him happy, no matter the actual tension in the situation. 

"Really?" She widened her eyes. "That'd be alright with you?" She lifted up her shoulders, awaiting his response with excitement. 

"Yeah, I wouldn't really want anyone else to come with me." He shrugged. "You don't have to if you don't want to." 

"N-no I'd love to." She chuckled. "It's about time I met the whole bunch of Washingtons don't you think?" She laughed lightly. "I've only known you guys most of my life." 

"Guess it has been a bit put off." He frowned. "I uh...don't know if you'll really like him though." 

"Why wouldn't I? If he's anything like you, Hannah, or Beth than I'll love the guy!" 

He held back the obvious words. That she wouldn't like him, that she'd probably end up being repulsed by his very presence. "Just wait until dinner then Sammy." Josh tensed up his shoulders. "He's got a couple big differences."

Sam tilted her head a bit in slight confusion. "He's not all that bad I'm sure." 

He patted Sam shoulder, a comedic expression on his face. "Oh Sammy, you've got no idea." 

"Oh come on." She huffed. 

"Who're you two even talking about." Hannah lifted her upper body up, confusion gleaming in her eyes. 

"Dad." He spoke in a grim voice, lowering his eyelids. 

Hannah folded her lips and furrowed her brow. "D-dad...?" She took a slow awkward breath, lowering her body back to the carpet. "W-what're you doing talking about him for?" 

"We're having dinner with him later." He exhaled softly. 

Hannah nervously laughed and hunched over. "I-I think I'll pass on that." Beth gave a comforting smile and took her sister's hand. "Y-You guys have fun." 

"H-Han?" Sam leaned forward a bit with confusion in her eyes. "You okay?" She frowned and attempted to reach out before Hannah gave her a look of reassurance. 

"Yeah, it's all good." She smiled brightly, yet it was rather clear to Josh and Beth of her guise. "Don't worry Sammy!" 

She pulled back against the bed frame and pressed her legs against her chest. "Did I say something?" 

He shook his head and gave a supportive grin to her. "No, not at all Sammy." He shrugged. "Trust me, if you did something wrong Han would say something."

Before Sam could respond Chris began to speak up. "Dear Benjamin, does thou want a doughnut?" He spoke in a classical voice, pushing the box towards them. "Uh...there aren't much left, but you know work with what ya' got." 

Josh chuckled lightly and took the box. "Thanks, Cochise." 

"Are you going to give us all classy names?" Sam asked. 

"Well don't you already have a pretty classy name, Samantha?" Chris smiled deviously as Sam groaned. 

"Oh yeah, my favorite name in the word." Her voice was drenched in sarcasm. "Best one ever." 

"Oh come on it's adorable!" Josh laughed. "Makes you sound like some sort of princess or something." 

"Princess Samantha of the...one place." Chris declared. "Fits perfectly." 

"Wow, I'm really honored," Sam replied. "I never thought something like that would happen." 

"Well...if anyone is going to declare you a princess of a random place it's Chris." Hannah pointed out. 

"It sure is!" He replied with pride. "I only come up with the best names!" He pointed to Josh. "I mean, come on he totally looks like a Benjamin right?" 

"No Chris dear...he doesn't." Beth retorted. Even in her snarky remarks, her voice was simply too sweet to ever be offended by. "But you tried and that's what matters I guess." 

"That hurt me." Chris clutched his heart dramatically. "You've hurt me deeply." 

"Hey, guys." Hannah lowered her voice, and a mischievous smile crawled to her lips as she sat up. "I just got an idea." 

"What's the idea?" 

"Let's go ambush Mike and Emily."


	29. Plans

Within what seemed like seconds they were racing towards their vehicles, intent on ambushing Mike and Emily. Hannah practically carried poor Beth, and Chris was dragging along the nearly empty box of doughnuts.

Josh and Sam had been rather fast as well. Even as they jumped into the truck and began to exit the parking lot they were practically shaking with excitement.

"You know the hotel they're staying at?" Sam asked, over the phone with Hannah. "The room number and everything?"

Bits and pieces of giddy noises escaped Sammy as Josh followed Hannah's vehicle in front of them.

"Okay, okay!" She nodded. "Alright, I'll see you at the hotel Han!" She lowered her phone and exhaled, seemingly returning to her calm state. Slightly. "Ready to ambush, Joshie?"

"Bout as ready as you'd expect." He shrugged. "You sure do seem like it though."

"Well I mean, it'll be fun just to drag them out somewhere." She chuckled. "You know, considering they do that to us all the time."

"I guess." Josh snickered. "But what're we going to drag them into doing?"

"Uh...well...I don't know that 's a bridge we'll cross when we get there." She thought for a moment. "I don't know, I think it'd be fun just to drag them around everywhere."

"Oh...I just got an idea." He gave a wicked smile and glanced to Sam. "What if we had them play against Hannah in tennis?"

Sam's eyes widened and she held back furious laughter. "Mike wouldn't last a second!"

"That's the point Sammy."

"W-well would you play with Hannah?"

"You'd have to marry on the spot or something-" 

Those words were perhaps not the best.

In fact, they may have been a very poor choice. And he only had a few seconds to mend it. Because Sam's face was already lighting up into a large mixture of red. 

He wasn't doing much better, to say the least.

"W-what?" She laughed nervously, yet the smile still remaining on her face.

"W-well I just mean that something b-big would have to happen." His voice was clumsy and he pulled back his shoulders. "Y-You know?"

"Y-yeah." She laughed. She began to cover her mouth as she looked down at the ground. "And a marriage in the tennis courts would be really exciting I bet."

"You wouldn't be able to finish your vows cause tennis balls might accidentally hit you." He laughed lightly at the idea. "Aw poor Sammy."

"That'd be a terrible wedding Josh." She snickered and adjusted her ponytail. "Like really terrible."

"What if the arch was made out of the tennis net?"

"That'd some creative thinking right there." She snapped her fingers. "But I don't care who I'm marrying it won't be at tennis courts."

"Well I'm sure your wedding would have a lot more class Sammy." He remarked. "I'd be very worried about your fiance if they even agreed to that."

"Well I'm pretty sure Hannah would be arranging the wedding if it were ever going to be in a place like that."

"Probably." He tilted his head from side to side in consideration. "But I mean, at least it'd be interesting."

In their ongoing conversation they hardly noticed as they nearly approached the hotel. 

They slipped out of the vehicle where Hannah was acting like a corny villain of sorts, rubbing her hands together deviously.

"You look like you put on too much disinfectant and are trying to hide it." Chris joked.

"I would slap you, but that might be considered animal abuse Chris."

Josh and Sam held back fits of laughter as Chris puffed out his cheeks. "I'm going to tell the teacher on you!"

"Cochise, lower the drama okay?" Josh retorted in a comically tone. "Hannah's just a tiny ball of anger."

"It's my default mood." Hannah huffed.

"Tiny and angry are the best words to describe you." Chris set his arm on her shoulder and smirked. "So are you ready to go angrily ambush Mikey?"

"Born for it." Hannah chuckled. They began to make their way inside, and were greeted by rather bright lights. The floors were a pristine tile, yet most of it was covered by great large rugs.

"Third floor right Han?" Sam asked.

"Yup."

"Uh...why do you have all this info anyways?" Chris asked. "Kind of specific."

"I am besties with Mike!" Hannah declared. "I get all the deets."

"What slang you've got there." Josh retorted. They approached the elevator and they mainly left Hannah to the deed.

"She's really bad with it when it comes to texting." Beth admitted. "She tries to use all the little short cut thingies."

"Only cause I'm hip and cool with the times!" Hannah snapped. "You're just jealous Beth."

"I think I'd have bigger problems if I was jealous of your constant use of shortcuts."

"Probably."

The elevator played its usual strange music for a rather long time as they watched the numbers switch on the screen. 

"You ready Sammy?"

She laughed. "For a tennis wedding, or the ambush?"

He raised his eyebrows a soft smile coming to his face as he noticed the bits of red flushing onto her cheeks. He leaned his head closer towards her, and the red grew a darker shade. Even as he spoke it he noticed the sort of flustered grin coming onto her face.

"Whichever you prefer."


	30. Sass-Attack

They crept along the hallways, the sounds of people pouring outwards. 

Some sounds were fine.

Others, Josh could've happily lived without. 

Yet as they came to Mike's room Chris instantly rammed into the door.

However, Chris wasn't exactly known for his strength.

Yet from the other side they heard the sound of quick, awkward steps coming toward the door. As Chris rammed in again, the door was opened and he collapsed onto the ground. 

Mike lowered his head, a bit of confusion coming to his face.

He wore no shirt, much to the disdain of the others. 

He only wore a set of striped boxers, not even socks. 

Not that it'd make the situation any better. 

His eyes were exhausted as he looked up towards the rest of the ground. "W-what're you guys doing here?" 

"You're coming with us to tennis," Josh remarked. 

"W-we what- I mean yeah totally." Hannah switched her gaze towards Josh, but once she realized she'd get to practice a wicked smile came to her face. "Y-You're totally coming with us to tennis." 

"Well I mean, let me Em wake up first. Besides, are you expecting us to play or something?" He allowed the rest of the group in and shut the door behind them. 

"Yes." Hannah grew a comical expression. "You totally should, so I can beat someone again." 

"It's been a day since you've beat someone." Sam pointed out. 

"Far too long." 

Mike chuckled and headed towards the bathroom where they heard the sound of a shower running. He threw open the door and shouted to who they could only assume was Emily. 

"Hey, babe! We're going to tennis practice now!" 

They heard Emily's screaming, and plenty of vulgar words as she scolded Mike. He couldn't keep a straight face the entire time though, and eventually just slowly closed the door. "Yeah, we'll come." 

Chris only now began to scramble to his feet, leaning over towards Josh. "What gave you the idea for tennis?" 

"Just...kind of popped up while we were driving there." 

Beth chuckled and she nudged Josh's arm. "You just want to see someone get hit with a racket or something." 

"Probably Cochise." 

"W-what?" He gave a nervous look and retracted backward. 

Mike slipped on the same pair of jeans as the day before and turned towards Hannah. "So you're the only real pro of the group aren't ya?" 

"Sure am." They locked eyes, and Josh noticed hints of red coming to his sister's cheeks. "Don't worry, I might go easy on you." 

"You know, the fact that you put in that might kind of scares me." He laughed weakly and pulled out an old t-shirt. "You must be pretty competitive eh?" 

"Well, I am pretty good at what I do." She shrugged humbly, despite her not-very-humble words. 

As he put on his shirt he smiled foolishly and sat on the bed. "Well I'm mean, I'm pretty good at other things too." 

"Oh please tell me, I didn't know you were good at anything." Emily strutted out of the bathroom, a robe wrapped around her. "I mean come on, not even Chris would do that." 

"Don't bring me into this!" He cried. "I just came to bother you guys." 

"So...what're you going to force us to do?" Emily snatched out yesterday's set of clothes. "I'm just dying to know." 

"You get to place tennis with Han." Beth pointed at her twin, a smug smile appearing on the usual soft-toned sister. 

"W-what?" Emily furrowed her brow. "We don't get know how to play!" 

"She'll teach you," Beth remarked. "Josh and I could maybe teach you...how to hit the ball? Probably not but you can dream." 

Something similar to the very basics had been learned by the siblings throughout Hannah's tournaments. 

Josh kind of knew how to hold the racket but hardly knew how to hit it. 

"Yeah, I'll make sure once I learn, to beat Mike." She narrowed her eyes at him. "One on one babe." 

"You'll both probably just be violently hitting the ground." Hannah retorted. "There will probably be six-year-old kids better than you." 

"Then I'll just beat you with a racket Han? How does that sound?" Emily snapped. "Sounds good to me!" 

"Hey, hey Em." Josh gave a comforting smile and reached out a hand. "Let's just wait until we actually get to the court okay?"

She huffed and tightened her grip on her clothing. "Jeez Hannah where are you going to stop relying on your big brother to handle all your problems?" 

She shut the door on Hannah but she still raised her voice with anger. "Oh maybe when I actually start to care about your trashy opinion?" She furrowed her brow and gave a triumphant grin as even Mike let out tiny laughs. 

In a few moments Emily returned, eyes narrowed but before she could say something Hannah lashed out again. "Oh, and at least someone will stand up for me, unlike you." 

Chris leaned towards Josh his nose crinkled and a smile holding back laughter on his face. "Shots fired." 

"Should we stop them?" Beth asked. "I think we should stop them." 

"Probably...." Sam nodded, and folded her lips in consideration. "Yeah, probably." 

"Aw, okay." Chris sighed. "I was kind of hoping you'd say no." 

Josh took Hannah's arm as she opened her mouth. "I think that's enough." 

"Shut your mouth Em deary, you'll get flies caught in them." Chris lifted up Emily's jaw despite moments later having the hand be slapped away. "Keep your snarky remarks for the court alright?" 

Sam looked to Hannah and patted her friend on the shoulder. "Hold the sass back." She chuckled. "We're all friends here right?" 

"Yeah, you'd think so wouldn't you?" Hannah scowled as she saw Mike attempting to calm down Emily, who was nearly red with anger. She widened her eyes and took a deep breath. "So...who's ready for me to destroy Em at tennis?" She raised her voice and Emily stomped towards her, a grimace on her face. 

"Like you could beat me at anything."


	31. A Tennis Match

Plenty of the group, as they drove on their way to the courts was texting or calling, exchanging bets over who they thought would win. Most, of course, went for Hannah, Emily had never even held a racket there was little to no chance. 

Even Mike went against his girlfriend and was making bets with the rest of the group. If Emily found out it more than likely wouldn't be the best decision he ever made, but it was the correct choice regarding who they thought would actually win. 

The tennis courts were full of other players of course, and many inhabiting the bleachers with fans and such. "If Emily wins I think I'll just give up on life." 

Sam, who was beside him in the vehicle chuckled. "I'm not ever letting her play again."

"She won't be touching another racket for as long as she lives," Beth remarked.

"Alright you three, if I lose...you can just have all of my money! I don't care just take it, cause if I lose to Emily there' s no hope for me!" She threw her hands up in the air dramatically. "I will just throw the little cash I have to ya'll okay?" 

As they got in the bleachers, most of the group had agreed on how the money would be nice, their minds already seemingly made up. Mike and Emily were just about clueless when they were first given their rackets, let alone how to hit. They hastily showed them how to do so properly, but with all the excitement, hardly a single thing lingered in their heads.

They at least at an indoor area, so at the very least, they were suffering in the snow, trying to see who was losing. Hannah, dragged along Beth to play alongside her despite the sister's pleas for help. 

"Do you think you could be any good at it, Sammy?" 

She laughed and shook her head. "Oh no, I couldn't hit a tennis ball if my life depended on it." 

"I'd probably hit someone." Chris pointed out. He laid out on the section of bleachers above them, his head turned towards the match. "Or when I go to hit it would just drop the racket." 

"That sounds like something you'd do." Josh smugly said. 

No one particularly wanted to ever see Emily fired up, her hands trembling from the anger, but they saw it on the courts. Mike mainly was cracking jokes, and maybe attempting something like pickup lines, it didn't really help the situation, but it was Mike. 

Beth kept shooting the group looks of sorrow as she gave nervous glances while Hannah furiously attempted to fire her up. It, of course, didn't work. 

"Do you think you could play?" Sam asked. "You can't be that bad." 

"You're probably not ever going to see me play Sammy.' He bowed his head and sighed. "I'm sure you were shaking with excitement." 

Showing the two idiots where to even stand was difficult enough, Emily kept moving and Mike...well he didn't really care so he wasn't too hard to handle. It felt more like a battle preparation than simple instructions with Emily nearly always questioning the point of moving in directions around the court and such. 

She listened at least, while they played he noticed she, of course, didn't look prepared in the slightest. And they weren't. The first time Hannah was serving towards Emily, and it was rare he saw such wrath in his sister as if she were about to start screaming - or just go and hit Emily with her racket instead. 

The ball was hit with an incredible amount of force and the tennis ball flew towards Emily. It...hit the handle of the racket. 

"Fifteen Love!" Chris called out. He then leaned towards Josh, a look of nervousness on his face. "W-was that right?" 

"Yes Cochise, you're doing good." 

"Emily isn't." Sam snickered and sighed. "Oh just look at how mad she is." 

"You're getting a lot of joy out of this Sammy," Josh remarked. 

"You don't really ever get to see anyone beat Emily. Just...just let me have this." A little smile crept to her lips as she leaned against the bleachers. 

"Do you think you could beat Em at tennis?" Chris asked Josh. His eyes widened with interest. 

"I'm not really in the mood to find out." 

"Oh, you know...Hannah once told me this really bad joke about tennis." She giggled lightly and anticipation glimmered in her eyes. 

"Go ahead and tell it." Josh chuckled. "You look like you're dying to anyways." 

"Why is tennis such a noisy game?" She raised her shoulders, giving a worried look to Josh, afraid he'd know it. 

"I don't know," Chris widened his eyes ridiculously and gave a comical grin. "Why?" 

"Cause they all raise a racket!" Sam laughed a bit, a sigh slipping from her lips. "I hate that joke." She frowned and looked back to Hannah. "I hear it so much from her." 

As they heard another set of vulgar words erupting from Emily then turned their heads to see a tennis ball cascading down the net. 

"Thirty love?" Josh gave a slightly confused glance to Hannah who nodded, giving him a thumbs-up. 

"Hannah looks like she's about to violently murder Em." Chris pointed out. "It's kind of scary." 

"I don't think her younger self ever really pictured doing this, but then again she wanted to be a cat when she was little." 

"Doing nothing all day sure does sound nice." Sam smiled softly. It was a smile Josh couldn't help but fall for. She slowly closed her eyes, and let out a tiny yawn. "I would love to just sleep right now." 

"Go for it," Josh remarked. "No one's stopping you." He grinned lightly. "I will even be your own personal pillow." 

"Yeah, you'd like that wouldn't you?" Chris giggled like an idiot and allowed his eyebrows to hop in a sort of way. 

"Keeping it classy Chris." Sam shook her head and took a deep breath. Her eyelids looked nearly heavy as she set her head on Josh's shoulder, her shoulders loosening. "Wake me up if it ever ends, alright Joshie?" 

"Sure thing Sammy."


	32. Triumphant

It had been expected that Hannah and Beth would win. 

Beth herself wasn't all that good, but she at least knew how to properly. and the only real time Hannah messed up was when she turned to look at them on the bleachers and saw Sam asleep, leaning against Josh. It had hit the net and her cheeks had puffed out, holding back extreme anger. 

Emily had noticed it right away, an almost sinister smile tugging at her features. Yet as the two became more aggressive, a tennis ball or may not have 'accidentally' slammed into her face.

It was a quick six points gained though for Hannah, and as she heard the words "game point" she didn't do a thing. Aside from smile triumphantly, and stride towards Emily. Josh had noticed that throughout the game she refrained from ever being violent towards Mike, or even to hit it that hard. It was as if she was simply trying to give it to him. 

You know...if he knew how to play he might have done something, but it was worth something when he hit it. 

Sammy had stretched out similar to a cat, but still comfortable nonetheless. If someone yelled or raised their voice her eyes would flinch, and she tighten her grip onto his shoulder. 

As Hannah finished her stride of sorts towards Emily she reached out her hand for a handshake. Emily sneered, her eyes flaring up. "Whatever." Her voice was low, and rippling with anger. 

Chris tapped his hands against the stand. "Emily's mad." He said in a sing-song voice. 

"If she hears you I think you'll be her first murder victim." Josh whispered. 

They noticed how Emily attempted to walk away, despite her knowing where to even put her racket. It was poor thinking personally, but he couldn't tell what was going on in her head. 

"Don't be mad just because I'm better than you Em!" Hannah had called out. Chris let out a tiny gasp. He would've woken up Sam, but she seemed to be rather peaceful at the moment. Even her gentle breathing seemed to keep himself tranquil, despite the area heating up with tension. 

Emily whipped her head around, her hands tightened and she lifted up her shoulders. Before she could say anything though Mike set his hand on Hannah's shoulder a strange smile on his face. 

"Nice Han." It wasn't a friendly smile, it was a smile you didn't give to a friend. It wasn't negative though. 

Hannah's face lit up red, and words tumbled out of her mouth. "T-t-thanks." 

Josh turned his head to Chris. "Wanna join them? We'll get a better view if a fight starts." 

"Please?" 

Josh nodded and spoke softly. "Sammy?" A smile cracked to his lips as her eyelids flickered. His voice was mellow, and his movements were weak as to not disturb her too much. "Sammy come on they finished." 

She mumbled something, and slowly raised her eyelids. "W-what." She glanced around, and attempted to mend her messy hair. "Who won..?" 

Before he could respond, she sighed. "N-no, never mind it was Hannah, I already know." 

He waited till she stretched and hopped off the bleachers. Chris was waiting, tapping his foot impatiently on the ground.

Josh ignored this, and reached out a hand towards Sam who was clumsily scrambling to her feet. "Your highness?" He chuckled as she took his hand, crinkling her nose. 

"That's Princess Samantha of the One Place to you." She furrowed her brow, but was unable to keep the stern expression on her face. She released her feet, and landed onto the ground, stumbling a fall bit but he managed to help her keep her balance. "Isn't that right Chris?" 

"Sure is, and don't you forget it!" He spoke in an excited tone as they arrived towards where Emily once was. She had stormed off, with Mike attempting to follow, but was greeted with harsh words at a high voice. 

Hannah raised up her shoulders as the others returned and threw up her racket. "What'd she think was going to happen?" She cackled. "Did she think I'd let her win or something?" 

"You did great Han." Josh chuckled and patted Beth on her shoulder. "You too."

"I didn't really do that much." She shrugged. "It's not like Mike or Em ever got the ball over the net." 

"Were they really that bad?" Sam asked. "I uh...kind of slept a bit." 

"Oh Sam, honey." Hannah shook her head. "It was pitiful." 

"Sure does sound like it." A smile crept to her lips. "Em sure is acting like it was." 

"Well I mean...I did beat her pretty bad." She gave a cocky look and twirled the racket between her fingers. "I'd be scarred too, if I were her." 

"Don't be too mean about it okay?" Beth said. "Em's hot-tempered as it is." 

"Oh come on I've got to rub it in just a bit more." Hannah gave a sinister grin. "I want it to haunt her!" 

"If a tennis match is the only thing she'll remember about you, then I think we have some bigger problems." Chris proclaimed. "Don't you think?" 

Hannah raised her free hand to Chris's face, and narrowed her eyes. "Don't ruin my fun alright?" 

"What're you even going to do?" Josh asked. "You can't drag with on with her for the rest of your life." 

"Oh I will, and it will be the greatest thing!" She puffed up with pride. "It better be on my gravestone. 'Here lies Hannah Washington, she once beat Emily at tennis'."

"Is that really what you want to be known though as your greatest accomplishment?" Beth asked. "That's kind of sad when you think about it." 

"Quit ruining my fun Beth!" Her look of confidence morphed into something similar to desperation. "Let's just bask in the glory of our triumph." 

Sam leaned towards Josh, a look of humor on her face. "You know Em's not going to just let her do that." 

He shrugged, not entirely sure of when, but she more than likely would do such actions. "Just let them have this."


	33. To the Mall

It was hastily decided that an easy way to keep Emily's mind off losing, aside from Hannah's constant yelps of triumph, would be to go visit Jessica and Ashley. At this point, the sun would've been more than likely shining brightly in the sky, if it wasn't shrouded by clouds at least.

He found himself constantly checking his phone even as they drove. He was afraid that it'd reach the evening hours, and he'd have to go back. Yet he found that eventually Beth would take his hand and lower the phone, a concerned look in her eyes. "Don't worry about it." She would smile softly. "Just think about what're we doing right now, or I guess if Hannah was giving you advice, think of Sammy."

Yet they had been in their vehicles heading towards where Emily had found out the girls were staying. The two were staying at Jessica's parents, but they weren't there at the moment. And really...where else did you expect them to be than a mall?

As they entered the large building, Josh remembered he wasn't all that big of a fan of them. The numerous people crowding the building would always make it appear more cramped than it already was, and it happened to make him rather tense or uncomfortable.

"Josh you aright?" Sam's eyes widened with worry.

"Yeah, just...just a bit too crowded for me I guess." He shrugged it off, but still felt a tinge of stress when a stranger brushed past his shoulder.

"It'll be fine, we'll be out of here real quick." She gave him a supportive grin.

"R-right." He found himself, easing up a bit, but still being slightly weary when coming close to those he was unaware of. He had no problems with the people, but they all felt so tightly packed.

"It's okay." She softly entwined her hand with his. "I promise."

He felt heat rise to his cheeks, and his heartbeat began to quicken. But in a good way he supposed. Because he felt a bit more comfortable in a way, having it be aware of someone of his situation.

"So what are they getting more caffeine?" Hannah cried. "It's like they live off the stuff."

"There's nothing wrong with coffee Han." Mike pointed out. "Just cause you're into those smoothies or whatever."

"Yeah, but they also get those complex kinds, you know?" Hannah pointed out. "With the triple cream, no decaf- I don't know they're just complex and weird!"

They arrived at the little cafe, finding Jessica with an iced coffee, and Ashley enjoying herself with a strange type of breakfast. "Hey losers." Jessica waved gently and took a sip of her coffee. "Guess you found us."

"So we heard there was a little match of tennis?" Ashley asked. Chris's eyes widened and he set his hand on Ashley's shoulder shaking his head wildly.

"Yeah!" Hannah clapped her hands. "I only destroyed Emily at tennis!"

"Too bad that it's the only thing you could ever 'beat' me at." Emily sneered. "The rest of you is pretty worthless."

"Oh come on be nice," Ashley said in a soft voice.

"And whoever wanted to hear your voice?" Emily scowled. "Last time I checked I never asked for your opinion." She peered down, and barely tapped her jacket. "Oh, and if we're being nice, I better not mention your trashy clothes."

"Oh man!" Chris gasped. "Do you want some ice or something Ash?"

"Em, let's be nice now okay?" Mike asked. "It's a peaceful territory."

"Did I ever mention how I regret how much we bring Em along with us?" Beth whispered lightly to Josh.

"Not really, but I can't see you two getting along all that well."Josh pointed out.

"There's not many people who can," Sam added. "If we're being honest."

Josh shrugged. "At least give her some credit, it can be pretty fun."

"Oh yeah, that makes it so much better."

He leaned his head closer towards her and raised his shoulders as if he was considering something. "It does, Sammy."

As people began to brush past him more he noticed how his voice slightly trembled once more. His fingers tightened around Sam's hand, and his shoulder's tensed as the voices seemed to grow louder. He could hear bits and pieces of their words, and they intensified over time, ringing in his ears. More people flooded into the room, more and more brushing past him and some never even moving.

"Joshie?" Sam lowered her voice to a whisper. "Do you want to step out or something?"

"W-what?" His eyes widened, and he knew that the words were slightly strained.

"Step out? You know maybe into the hallway or something?" 

"Uh...yeah if you don't mind."

She guided him out towards the hallway where it was much less crowded, and there was a space between him and others...for the most part. "You okay?"

"Y-yeah...I just don't really like those crowded places sometimes. I don't know maybe it's the stress of dinner later, but it just got to me a bit." He chuckled weakly. "Sorry about that."

"Nah, it's fine." She narrowed her eyes and gave a confused look. "Why would dinner bother you that much though?"

"It's um..." He didn't know how to outright say that his father was unfaithful and abusive. At least in a comfortable manner without creating tension. He didn't even know if that would affect the way Sam saw Josh. It made worried thoughts run through his mind, or her beginning to distance herself in the fear that he'd be like him.

He was afraid of losing someone like Sammy. Someone so important to him.

"It's a kind of strange story."

"You don't have to tell me." She smiled softly and squeezed his hand as a form of support. "It's your life...not mine." She gave a gentle look. "It's really your choice."

He noticed a smile widen on his face and he pulled Sam closer. He was nearly afraid he'd lose her in the crowds, or perhaps that she'd simply be swept away by a gust of wind. He nearly felt a pain in his eyes, like tears were brimming upon the edge. Yet he still smiled and laughed cheerfully as he pulled Sammy closer because they weren't tears of sorrow but happiness.

"T-thank you, Sammy."


	34. Dinner

The hours seemed to drag rather briskly. The people didn't seem to bother him quite as much, now that he had Sam beside him. But when it came time to leave he felt his heart tighten, and his shoulders grow tense once more.

Beth had a sorrowful look on her face as they drove. When they had left the group was full of smiles and waves, maybe not Em but for the most part. Hannah had offered to join them, with concern drowning in her eyes. It was a rare time to see her not in a positive mood. Yet she had clung to Josh's arm and gave a pleading look. They had dismissed it though and told her to have some fun.

One Washington had to.

Sam had been quiet the entire time, not really understanding the conflict. Yet as they approached the door she could even feel the tension in the air. All the unspoken vulgar words. His hands tightened into fists, and Beth grabbed onto his sleeve. As they knocked they heard hurried footsteps that were greeted by their mother.

"Joshua, Beth!" Her gazed shifted to Sam, and her eyes lit up even more. "Samantha darling! I had no idea you'd be coming!" Despite the positive tone as she leaned in for a hug despair gleamed in her eyes. "Come in, come in." 

The house was warm, despite the many fans about the room. 'Is...uh d-dad here?" Josh held his breath, as his mother spoke.

"Oh." Her voice fell dramatically. "Bob?"

"Yes, mom." Beth lowered her voice. "Is he here?"

"W-well-"

Her voice was cut off by the sound of slow, steady steps. It rang through the house like bells, vibrating in Josh's ears for what felt like days. Sam raised her shoulders and hid her hands in her pockets, her eyes widening with interest.

They were greeted with the sight of their father. His cold grey eyes clung to them like daggers once he saw two of his three children. "Joshua..." His voice trailed off as if he had never expected him. Not that he ever wanted to join him. "Melinda didn't tell me that you'd be here."

He was silent, a blank expression on his face. His eyes narrowed. "Is there something wrong with me being here?"

Bob shook his head hastily, already realizing he had chosen the wrong choice of words. "No, not at all."

He still had unfamiliar perfume sticking to him like molasses. Well...that was a lie. It wasn't unfamiliar, it smelled like recently-bloomed roses. His mother would never wear something like that. He saw his shirt crudely buttoned, and the sleeves of his clothes roughly pushed back to his elbow.

The perfume was faint, but it still smelled as fresh as it did the first time he'd strolled throughout the house with that vulgar scent. "Who's this?" He turned his head towards Sam, a glint of curiosity sparking in his eyes.

"This is Beth, Hannah, and Josh's friend." His mother pointed out. She took a boundary-setting step in front of her, keeping Bob and Sam apart. "Her name is Samantha."

"Y-You can just call me Sam though." Her voice was slightly nervous as she could even sense the stress enlarging in the area around them. "You know, considering how long I've known Hannah, Beth, and Josh, it's surprising that we never got to meet."

"I suppose it is." Bob always had a strange way of speaking. His words were usually a bit longer than most, and his voice usually was cold and left a chill running down your spine. "But I guess now is better than never, don't you agree?"

"I uh...I guess." She nodded briskly, seemingly unable to properly process anything particularly clever.

"Are you hungry?" He raised his eyebrows expectantly, placing his hands behind his back. 

"Well, I haven't had much today."

Beth and Josh exchanged worried looks at the tone of Sam's stumbling voice.

"Then we best get to dinner." He smiled lightly. "It's hard to not have a pleasant conversation over dinner."

The dining room was very ornate and decorated to an olden time. Nothing seemed entirely modern, but due to this, it seemed to mold together well.

He pulled out a chair for Beth and Sam, sitting between them. Beth sat closer to her mother, towards the corner and Sam sat in the center of one of the sides. Bob sat on the other end across from their mother.

The foods were an assortment, neither simply meat or plant in its entirety.

"So...Joshua, have you gotten moved into your dorm yet?" His father spoke smoothly as he placed certain foods upon his plate.

"Yes." He narrowed his eyes at his father and spoke in an icy voice. "How as work been, or have you even been going?"

It was apparent that his father knew exactly what he meant. For a moment, everything was silent, and you could hear everyone's conjoined hearts beating. His father folded his lips and took a shaky breath.

"I don't know what else I'd be doing." He adjusted the collar of his shirt, buttoning the undone buttons hastily. "It is my job after all."

"I don't know what part of producing films involves coming home with another woman's perfume." His voice grew with a sort of confidence, and Beth clutched his shoulder. She stopped applying food to her plate and stared down at the table, a look of terror displayed in here eyes.

"Josh...stop please."

"W-what." Sam took a small breath, shooting him a nervous look. "What're you t-talking about?"

"I would like to ask the same thing," Bob replied. "Honestly the very idea is absurd." His father's voice grew trembling, a tinge of fear rode up in the string of sounds.

He finished setting up his plate and pushed back his shoulders, nearly feeling his muscles stiffening, preparing. "I'd like to think the idea of hurting your own children was absurd too, but you seemed to prove me wrong on that too."

"A-abuse...Josh." Sam's hand shook and she scrunched up her nose with the running idea unable to process in her mind. "Josh did he-" 

Josh lowered his voice, something threatening and hostile arose from it. His voice felt like something similar to poison, that he was injecting in his father. Hoping, praying that it would kill him.

"So...dad why'd you do it?" Josh furrowed his brow, his hands tightening.

"Do...what." Josh watched sweat bead down Bob's forehead. "Honestly, is this any way to greet your father?"

"Maybe if I cared about you it wouldn't."

He suddenly felt pulled back to reality as Sam clutched onto his arm, confusion flooding her eyes. She didn't say anything, but her mouth was barely opened as if she meant to. He lowered his head, something like guilt trickling in his heart. Especially as he saw the fright in Beth's expression. He leaned back in his seat, not speaking a word.

"D-Don't you think that's a bit harsh Josh?" He saw his mother's pitiful smile. "I-It's in the past."

He still didn't speak but felt anger sparking inside of him like a lit match.

"Right..." He saw his sister's chin quiver. "all in the past." She glanced down, lowering her collar and looking at the now much darker bruise.

The spark lit up slowly, crawling up through his veins towards his heart. Sam hadn't released her grip on his arm, and her eyes switched from one side of the table to the other in seconds. "I-Is there something-"

"No Samantha, silly little things. Nothing you need to be concerned about."

He remembered the way the glass shattered onto the ground, ripping at bits of his skin, and scraping the wooden floor. The way the sound of him slapping his mother had chimed through the hallways of the house for years. And how he had to go to school the next day, trying to hide his scars and bruises from everyone. Even Sammy.

And that spark flew up, shocking his heart like a shot of adrenaline. "A silly little thing?" Josh nearly erupted from his chair, had it not been for Sam's hand. "Is that what you consider abuse to be?" He sneered, each word struggling to not become a scream. "Cheating on mom? That's a silly little thing to you?"

"Josh!" Bob lowered his voice to a growl.

"What's her name?"

"Who's name?"

"The name of the woman's perfume you're wearing. I want to know her name, cause she must be pretty special to completely abandon mom for her!"

"I don't-"

He shot up, slamming his fist on the table. "If you try to lie one more time, I'll beat you just like you did to us!" The fire rose into his eyes, and he felt the heat overwhelming him incredibly. Everyone else sat with gaping mouths, awaiting either another denial or a confession from their father. "So...what is her name?"

Bob swallowed hard, as he lowered his head to the floor.

"Q-Quinn."


	35. Anger

Quinn...

The word stung in his heart and went traveling towards his head. His hands shook and he tightened his grip on the table. He swore he could hear the snapping of breaking wood with how tight his grip was. He snapped backward quickly, shoving the chair against the wall. He took quick strides to his father, with the heat of his flames sparking around the room.

He leaned down, clenching the arms of his father's chair, a cold burning look in his eyes. "She must be pretty good then."

"W-what?" His father's voice was trembling. Then something snapped, his eyes flared, and he furrowed his brow. "Joshua, haven't you had enough fun?"

"Do you really think this is fun for me?" He scowled.

"You seem to be having quite a bit of fun." His eyes grew clouded over with something, something Josh wasn't aware of. "But why don't you go sit back down, don't you think that'd be the better thing to do?"

His voice was like poison, and it left Josh internally writhing with anger. "And let you just go along and pretend this didn't happen?" He felt a rumble grow in his throat like a growl. "So you can go see her tomorrow?"

"Stop-" His dad tensed up as if preparing to move.

"So you can have a few more 'accidents'? Yeah, how many of those were really bruises, or did you just get a bit annoyed with us again?"

He heard Bob snap out of his seat, and the room went into complete and utter silence. Bob's chair was a few feet away now, and he stood tall with eyes narrowed, and his hands shaking with a raw set of anger. "Joshua. sit. down."

"I'll sit down when you start acting like a real dad."

It had been rather fast really. He watched his father raise his clenched fist, and ram it into Josh's face. It sent his head twisting to the side, and his body stumbling sideways. He felt something dribbling from his nose, and his head rung annoyingly. His head pounded, and his heart ached with a sort of harshness.

"J-Josh!" Sam raised her voice, preparing to shoot up, but Beth grabbed her sleeve, fear growing in her eyes.

He couldn't hear what she had said to Sam, but he did see what was cascading down his face as it collapsed onto the floor.

Blood.

He lifted up his head, his spine straightening. He didn't smile but felt a sort of satisfaction inside of him. That flame was running along his body through his veins, with the pounding blood boiling. "Guess that's a no then?"

His father's eyes widened at the crimson staining his knuckles. His chin quivered and he attempted to make an expression like it never happened. "J-Josh...sit down. now."

The blood was warm, just like the flames. No...the flames weren't just warm, they were scalding hot. He stormed towards his father, the anger bursting out of him like an explosion. He rammed into his father. They slammed onto the wall, the house seemingly appearing to shake. When he pulled back he noticed his father slumping down to the ground unable to process what happened.

Every part of him wanted to beat his father, just as he did to him, his legs trembled and his hands grew anxious.

He knelt down, a bit of the hostility in his eyes fading. "Look at me."

His dad's eyes lazily met his.

"W-why'd you do it?" He muttered.

His father didn't speak, and yet no guilt came to him. Not even a flicker in his eye, but what it did was restart the flame.

"Do you not feel guilty?" Josh asked. A voice unlike his own came out of his mouth.

His father kept the same expression, his lips attempting to move to form words.

Josh set his hand on his father's head and tightened his grip on the strands. "Say something." He felt the string of patience thinning inside of him, barely a centimeter in width at this point.

"She does a couple things better you know." He noticed barely a tinge of regret in his eyes as he spoke, knowing the wrong words had been said.

Josh thrashed his father's head forward and threw it back against the wall. There wasn't any cracking of bones, no, Josh had made sure not to cause that much pressure. But he noticed the grimace of pain on his father's face. "Does she know about us?" Josh growled. "Does she know about how 'well' you treat us?"

Bob's eyes shot to the ground. "No..." It was an exhausted voice as if he had just awoken from a nightmare. "She doesn't know..."

"Does she know about mom?" Josh scrunched up his nose, his hand gripped on his father's hair tightening.

"N-no." He flinched at the growing intensity of the grip.

Before he could ram his head into the wall once again, maybe even the final feeling his father would've felt, he noticed a hand clasp onto his wrist.

It was Sam.

Her eyes were wide, not with fear or even confusion...but a sort of compassion. "Josh...I really think that's enough."

"Y-You don't know what he's done to us." Beth spoke softly, yet the words were bold. "T-they're s-so much worse...than bruises."

She meant the broken bones, that they never mentioned. The burns that never healed, the blood that stained the walls, and the pleading look that never entirely left their faces.

"Y-You're right." Sam's voice grew tender. "I don't know what's he's done, but...I do know that this isn't going to make it any better." She gave a weak smile towards Josh, it might not have been strong in itself but it revealed a sort of fondness. "So...please let go."

He didn't take a second thought for him to release. He dropped his hand and allowed Sam to lead him away. In that moment everything had gone blank like a clean slate. It all grew clouded to an extent.

Until his mother's voice was raised, and she ripped open the front door. "Bob, get out." Her voice became something monotone. "now."

"Melinda-"

"You have Quinn, and you've proven we're not important to you." She narrowed her eyes. "So, get out."

Before Bob could speak again Josh turned his head towards him, eyes burning with vexation.

Bob rose to his feet hastily once that occurred. From what he could see there wasn't any blood on the back of his head, but most likely, a bruise. He lifted up his head, attempting to put off a strong demeanor. He gave their mother a longing look, but it was only returned with silence.

Even Beth was quiet, attempting to rub the tears off of her cheeks.

In fact, the only sound that was heard was that of the door being shut behind their 'father'.


	36. Someone's Compass

As the sound of the slamming door disperses, their mother promptly fell to her knees, sobbing. It was nearly silent, many would think she'd simply be sniffing due to the weather or of the sort.

But Josh and Beth knew their mother better than that.

The three of the guests rushed towards Melinda, eyes drenched in concern. "M-mom?" Josh's voice was soft, and he felt her hand touch his bruise on his face.

"You shouldn't have had...to do that." Her voice was trembling. "I shouldn't have let him do that to you." She pulled him close into a tight hug, he felt his clothing growing damp with her tears.

"Mom..." Beth's chin quivered, but it seemed as she had simply cried herself out to be it in a strange sense of words. "I-It's okay now." She mustered a thin smile. "S-stop crying."

"I-I should've never let him lay a single hand on any of you!" Their mother sobbed. "W-What kind of mother does that make me..?"

Josh pulled back, and took his mother's hand, attempting to smile softly. "You never did anything...it's okay."

"N-no it's not Joshua!" Her eyes widened, and she lowered her brow, an equal mix of anguish and regret. "C-Cause that's the thing...I never did anything, I n-never stopped him!"

"There's no point in worrying about it now though," Josh remarked. "We just need to think about what we can do now okay?"

"I-I'm so sorry." She whimpered. "I-I won't let it continue."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for." Beth cooed. "You just did what you thought was best." She looked up to Josh and Sam. "Sam, would you mind handling Josh?"

"Of course."

Sam helped Josh to his feet, with a trembling hand. He found that his mother clung to him at first. Her nails nearly dug into his skin with the huge amount of desperation. As if she were afraid to let him go, like some sort of monster would come and snatch him away. Her fingers gradually slipped, however, and collapsed onto the ground.

The walk to the bathroom was one spent in silence. When the door shut it was like entering an entirely new world. Josh sat on the arm of the marble bathtub, watching while Sam grabbed a cloth and ran it underneath the cold water.

As she stopped running the faucet she finally spoke.

"W-why didn't you tell me about this?" She sat down in front of him, her shoulders slumping and tears building up in her eyes. "W-were you a-afraid of something?"

He lowered his eyes to the ground, guilt crawling up his throat. "I-I guess." He didn't entirely know what else to say than the truth. Lying in this situation would do anything but help, and...at this point, there was no longer much to hide as it was.

"W-what was it then? T-that I'd reject you? That'd I'd leave you, Beth, or Hannah?"

He was silent and folded his lips nervously. It was much easier to stay silent though, then to admit something so hidden from your own self. But his expression showed enough.

"Josh..." She scrunched up her nose, and pulled back her shoulders. "why would I ever do something like that to you?"

"I-I don't know." He whispered. "I...just was scared." He took a breaking breath. "I-I just didn't want to..." The words were rather hard to say, out loud at least. "to lose you."

Sam set down the cloth and set her hands on his cheeks. She pulled down his head to face her and narrowed her eyes. "I'm not going anywhere." He watched little streams of tears pour down her cheeks, leaving stains. "Do you understand me?" She smiled kindly.

I love you so much.

The words formed in his head, they shouted incredibly, and he'd never felt so passionate about something. He'd never loved someone as much as he did Sammy, but for the life of him, he couldn't manage to pour the words out. Instead, he lowered his head and gently kissed her forehead, feeling the guilt wash away with a little bit of joy.

"Jeez Sammy, stuff like this makes me wonder where I'd be without you!" He chuckled lightly, feeling a bit of heat rise to his cheeks.

"Probably a bigger mess, than you already are." She raised her hands up a bit and curled her fingers through his hair affectionately. Her voice grew more comfortable, and she sighed lightly. "But...I'd probably be one too."

She pulled him back, and began to dab at the bruise with the cold water, applying easy amounts of pressure. "How long though...how long has he been doing this?" Her noticed her tightening on the grip of the cloth as she spoke. "I don't mind if you don't want to tell me but-"

"Since we were kids." He replied. "I was six, and Beth and Han were five."

"Are there...any s-scars?" Her voice was hesitant, as if she was afraid to ask.

"There's some on all of us." He furrowed his brow.

Most were on him actually, he always did tend to try to defend his sisters up until he left for the dorms. His father would end up being far more violent towards him because of this.

"I'm so sorry, that you guys had to deal with this." She wiped the blood from his face, giving a distressed look at the stains now on the cloth. "I wish I could've done more...I could've helped you so much more-"

"Sammy?" He took his free hand in his and gave a look of support towards her. "Just having you around with us for so long, is enough. We couldn't ask for anything more." He thought for a moment. "You wanna know why I even invited you to come along?"

"W-why?"

"Cause I knew, I'd think a whole lot clearer." He watched her eyes widen with surprise. "I always have better judgment when you're around. You make me wanna be a better person."

Her face lit up incredibly bright, and she stiffened a bit. "J-Josh come on, I-I can't be that i-important."

He shook his head, taking her other hand and lowering the cloth. He leaned forward a bit, a sincere smile morphing onto his bruised face. "Sam, come on we both know how important you are to me." He let an easy breath escape him. "You're my compass."


	37. Never Entirely Gone

As they came back into the main room they found Beth comforting her mother, sitting slouched over on the sofa. Beth was rocking her back and forth, humming soft tunes. She glanced at the two of them but exchanged no words. 

Melinda raised her head though, attempting a little smile to mend the tension in the air. "W-would you two like to stay here for the night?" 

Josh nodded, hiding his hands in the pockets of his jacket. "I-I wouldn't mind at all." He glanced towards Sam. 

"It'd be a pleasure." Sam dipped her head lightly in gratitude. "Is there anything we could do?" 

Melinda shook her head wearily. "N-no...d-don't even bother w-worrying about it okay?" 

Josh walked towards his mother and set his hands gently on her shoulders, taking calming breaths as he set his head on top of hers. "It'll be okay mom." He whispered. "Don't blame yourself for this." 

She took one of his hands and sighed. "Thank you, Joshua." She lowered her voice, a bit of that same despair twirling about the words. "You're such a sweetheart." 

He shook his head, and raised his head, slowly dragging away his hands. "No, just trying to be a good son." 

Sam smiled lightly. "Are you sure there's not anything we can do?" 

Melinda then stood up, on wobbly legs, rubbing her teary eyes. "N-no honey." She took a deep breath. "You simply being here is enough." 

"You're not okay though." Josh furrowed his brow, seeing the grief still swell in the eyes of his mother. "And if you go to sleep it won't just go away." 

"But...it will for a little while." She chuckled lightly. "I think that's okay." She shrugged. "Besides, what's really going to help me?" 

Beth raised her head. "W-what do you mean?" 

"Because this isn't a regular little bickering, because if Bob comes home right now and begs for forgiveness, on his knees..." She tilted her head slightly to the side, contemplating her next set of words. "We all know it'll be lies. That he'll still go out eventually and see her. Whether it's the next day, week, or even month he'll go back." 

"What're you going to do then?" Josh asked.

"I'm going to let time do the healing for us." She gave a comforting grin. "Because, there are some things that apologies can't fix you know...there's only so much 'I'm sorry' can do." She walked towards Josh, and her eyes swelled with a strange type of pride. "You'll know what I'm talking about one day." She continued her walking down another hall, her feet now bare and cold against the wooden planks. "Goodnight you three." 

He watched the door shut behind her, with a little switch of the lock. 

Beth set her hands on her face and dragged them down as if it was a chore to do so. "I-I'm really scared." 

"Why?" Sam asked. She leaned on one of the arms of the sofa. 

"I-It feels like it's still happening." She looked at Josh as he sat down beside her, and swept her fingers along the bruise. "I-It still feels like you're bleeding, that you're still about to ram dad into the wall." 

"I-I didn't mean to scare you." Josh frowned and pulled back his shoulders awkwardly. 

"I-I know you didn't, but it still feels like it's happening, again and again in some sort of messed up loop!" 

"Beth." Sam took her hand. "The moment that door closed it was over." 

"N-no it wasn't. He's still here in our minds, walking down those hallways...those screams are still bouncing off the walls." She bit her lip and began to rock back and forth. "D-don't you feel it too Josh?" 

If he were a feline, his ears would've perked up listening intently for something. And out of the corner of his eye he saw it to, a little figment of their father trailing along the floors, dark crimson blood crawling down his knuckles like a type of venom. He still heard the distant screams of his mother, the sounds of furniture colliding as a younger version of himself was thrown into them. 

It all felt like glitches, things that shouldn't be there. Each object had a shout, or whimper of fear to let escape it. He felt his own heart pounding with his shouts and pleads towards his father to calm down. He looked down at his skin and saw cuts that should've long healed appearing on his skin.

Unsealing the fabrics of his skin, and letting loose strings of scarlet. He felt his head throb a thousand times over, each time a new dent appearing on the certain object. "S-stop..." He found himself muttered. "N-no." 

He felt everything close in on him, and his hands clawed at his hair desperately. 

Get out of my head. 

You're just memories. 

Yet the voice that halted it all was not. 

"Josh!" Despite the worry in her voice, it was full of tranquility. As he focused on her, the wounds began to seal, with the strings retracting back towards its regular flow. 

The screams died down back into the photographs, pretending to be peaceful, and the dully painted walls. 

The furniture repaired itself, and it felt as if ice was placed on his head, melting into his brain leaving the pain slipping away with the tainted crack of their dad. 

He felt Sam's hands wipe tears from the edge of his eyes softly. "Hey, it's okay..." She looked at the two of them. "Both of you...it's okay now." 

His chin quivered, and he felt the edges of his lips tremble. 

It was not okay, but with Sam, it at least felt that way. 

He lowered his body and set his head on Sam's shoulder. She tightened her arms around him into a sort of embrace. Her hands were warm, leaving the aches on his wounded back dispersing. 

He felt Beth's body lean against him, and she twirled her sweater-covered arm around his. Sam held him closer, quietly humming while entwining her hand in his. 

And they sat together, each of them being another's security blanket in the seemingly empty room.


	38. Knowing You're Happy

It was quiet for the longest time, the only sound was the water running from the bathtub faucet with their mother. 

Beth stopped shaking eventually and raised her head. "I-I'm going to head off to bed." She stumbled to her feet. "J-Josh will you come with me?" 

He nodded, slowly pulling back from Sam. She squeezed his hand for support, and then released her hand. "I'll be in here." She smiled weakly and sat on another one of the ornate chairs. 

He stood up and followed alongside his sister. "S-should we tell Han?" She whispered, nearly as if she couldn't speak any louder, her vocal cords forbade it. 

"I-I think we'll have to when she sees this." He touched his bruise and frowned. 

"We have to cover that up though!" They came to the door of Beth's room, and she gave a frantic expression. "I don't want the others questioning us or anything!" 

"We'll see how it looks in the morning okay?" He turned the knob, and opened the door, allowing light to drench the darkness-filled room. "Do you want me to stay in there with you for a little bit?" 

"I-If it's not that big of a problem." She lowered her eyes to the floor, with a certain type of shame. "I-I'm sorry." 

"It's not a problem Beth." He chuckled lightly, and enter the room alongside her. 

She and Beth had shared a room, with soft pastel colors that tended to calm the two in their most stressful times. The carpet was a soft white, brushing against them, unknowing to the pain that awaited outside. 

He sat himself on Hannah's bed, with the mattress sinking beneath him. He pressed his backside against the wall, where little pictures of younger versions of them lay. 

Without their father. 

Beth didn't even bother changing her clothes, she was silent as she sunk into the bed. She placed the bed sheets atop her and hid her face on the pillow. She pressed her shoulders close to her. "Do you think...he'll come back?" 

"What if I say the wrong thing?" Josh asked. 

"There isn't really a wrong answer you know." She shuddered. "There's just one more desirable answer." She let out a weak bit of laughter. 

"I hope he won't come back," Josh replied. "I can't make any more promises today." 

He looked towards the closet and remembered how Beth and Hannah used to wake him up, eyes blinded with fear. They would shout things about monsters in the closet, desperately clawing for a flashlight. 

They'd drag him forward, once they'd find one of them and set him up in front of it, bundling themselves up in a tangle of bed sheets wrapped together. He would never be too happy about it but would shine his flashlight on the closet door, tapping his feet on the chest at the foot of Beth's bed until they'd all end up a mess of blankets and such on one of the beds. 

Why couldn't it be that simple now? 

Why did real problems have to exist? Why couldn't their father just be a monster in the closet that was just a figment of their childish imaginations? "But I can try, to keep him from coming back." He smiled weakly. "Even if it is just for tonight...okay?" 

She nodded softly and lifted the blankets closer to her body. "Tonight's good enough I guess." 

He got up from the bed and knelt down in front of Beth's. He attempted a cheerful face, hoping the darkness would shield her from the sight of his bruise. "Just...try to get some sleep okay? Like mom said, it'll make things better for a while." 

"Alright." She lowered her eyelids and let out a faint breath. "I'll do my best." 

He nodded and stood up, making his way back towards the door. "But if you can't sleep, don't even worry about waking me up okay? Even if I'm asleep, shake me until I get up...and we can talk about it more." 

"Thank you, Josh." Her voice weakened, and her breaths became a sort of ragged. 

He left the door open just a crack, that was all she needed to know it wasn't all darkness. 

Sam sat on the sofa, still rubbing her arms as if she were cold. She lifted up her head and twisted around to see him as he made his way back towards her. "Is she okay?" 

"She could be better." He sighed. "But then again I bet most of us could be." 

She huffed and leaned her side against his. "I'm so sorry about tonight." 

He gave her a look of befuddlement. "Sammy, what're you apologizing for, you did nothing wrong." He frowned a bit. "Don't put this on yourself." 

He always found that Sam carried the weight of many others upon her shoulders. The responsibility of caring for her father, the responsibility of leading her own path in life, but most of all she carried the weight of as many others as she possibly could. She carried other people's guilt to prevent themselves from feeling the pain.

Looking at it from another angle he thought he could nearly see the cracks in her features, from dragging the hardships of another's her entire life. Her eyes looked tired, and her hair disheveled. Her heart yet, thriving and full of love. 

It was rare that anyone would find a person like her in their lifetime. So if left Josh wondering why he would ever be so lucky to be gifted with her in his life. 

"I...I don't know." The cracks grew along with her skin, reaching the tips of her throat. He saw behind them the tower of responsibilities and torture of others pouring down, slipping into the cracks with a sizzling sound following in their wake. 

He snatched a blanket, set against the top of the sofa and wrapped it around her, preventing the things from consuming her anymore. Like a shield, he wrapped his arm around her tightly and watched the strings disband, and the cracks shift away. "Sam...are you happy?" He asked her. A little bit of him wanted to take back his words, to simply let the two of them sit together. But they hung in the air like a thick fog. 

"Well, no one can be happy all the time." She finally spoke. "But...I think I am." She nodded, finalizing her decision. "I am happy, it's really hard to tell sometimes though." 

"What do you mean?" 

"Like...when I was little, my dad would sometimes sit with me in front of the fireplace, and we'd just read a storybook together. Most of the time I was happy, but sometimes I'd feel someone missing." She tightened up her body. "I'd feel like someone was missing in my heart, someone wasn't in my memories that should have been, and a lot of the love aimed towards that person was just sitting cold in my heart." 

She looked up at him, her eyes glowing with endearment. "And then when I came to our old school, back in fourth grade and I met you...I felt that someone was beginning to fill my heart, someone was filling my memories, and even if they left me one day that the love in my heart wouldn't ever be cold again." She chuckled weakly. "Thank you, by the way." 

"For what?" He gave her a weary smile and took a deep breath. 

"For being that person." She sighed. "Cause...least now when I'm with you, I know - somehow - I'm happy."


	39. The Old Oak Tree

He had felt Sam drift off to sleep, her body pressed against his and the only sound he heard at one point was that of his mother's feet making their way towards her bedroom. 

He listened to Sam's soft breathing for a moment, feeling his own heartbeat slow down. Eventually, he stood up and laid Sam's upper body down on the sofa. She curled up into the blanket, burying her face into the pillow, the breathing never entirely increasing. 

He walked slowly towards the back door towards the backyard. Little droplets of snow cascaded down, as he saw from the glass door. He pulled it backward and took a step outside. 

He nearly forgot how freezing it was out there.

The snow collapsed onto his skin, melted down towards the ground, yet not without a certain mark being left on him. He looked up at the sky, seeing it drenched in an inky blue color. He felt the little bits of snow set onto his face, and sprinkle his eyelids, causing them to flicker like a dying light. 

A little bit of him felt the same joy he did as a child, running wildly about with his sister's sliding along the snow. But this time his vocal cords felt hollow, unwilling to let out any positive sound. He looked forward and saw the old oak he used to sleep underneath at a younger. He'd climb it's thick yet thriving branches and place himself as high he could go. 

It wasn't very high, but it was enough to where he could drown out the voices of others and could simply breathe in what felt like a wild wind. 

He walked towards it, listening to the crunching of his boots against the ground. He hooked his hands around the widest branch and hauled himself much easier than he did when he was younger. He listened to the bark creak and bend at his fingertips, and listened to the whispering of the leaves as a breeze brushed past him. 

As he settled himself in the very center of the route of branches, he sunk into the tree. He leaned against it and took soft breaths similar to what he'd do at a younger age. 

He remembered how one day Hannah had come to him, barely eight years old struggling to climb a tree. She had little smears of dirt on her skin, and frustration bubbling in her eyes. 

Her hands were a bright red, with little splinters in her palms, but she tightened them into fists, her chin quivering and a furrowed brow. It wasn't anything particularly difficult for Josh, and it wasn't like he had much better to do at a mere nine years old. 

He had shown her how what felt like a thousand times. Wrapping his arms and legs around the arms of the tree and twisting his body around. And each time she either collapsed or lost her grip. Eventually, he simply said for her to get onto his shoulders.

That didn't work out very well either, but it worked.She had wrapped her arms around the center body and crawled upwards, her legs furiously kicking up at the tree. Eventually, she twirled out onto it and huffed with exasperation. 

He climbed up easily and had laughed at her exasperation. 

He wasn't feeling exactly that way now. He felt emotionally exhausted now, rather than simply physically from helping Hannah countless times. 

His voice felt weak and dying, and his head seemed to throb. Every breath was hard to conjure, and every once and awhile he just wanted to stop. 

Just go with the breeze he supposed. 

Yet he still leaned up against the branches, breathing slowly, with a steady heart despite the frigid exterior. He watched his breaths form into a slightly solid structure, but so weak that they didn't last very long. 

He noticed his fingers beginning to tremble, and his face growing immune to feeling. That wasn't a very good thing.

He slowly made his way down the tree, and despite his emotionless expression, he was nearly afraid he'd break upon impact with the ground. He stumbled towards the door, entangling his hands around the door handle, and pulling it in the opposite direction. 

It felt like a whirlwind when his body entangled with the heat of the inside and the cold of the outdoors. He shut the door behind him and gave a shaky breath, letting out one last bit of cold. 

He awkwardly walked towards his old room, little photographs scattered around the room, but the only thing he really paid attention to at this moment was his bed. 

Despite this, he found that the clothes he was wearing weren't in the best condition. Dried blood stained his shirt, and his pants were ripped and nearly tattered like a cat would claw at curtains. 

He opened his dresser and snatched out what he could only assume was a random shirt and...sweatpants? He couldn't really tell due to the lighting that he was too exhausted to even turn on. 

He slipped off his shirt barely noticing the healed over scars. He found that no matter what, no matter how badly he didn't want to see it he'd always see the old wounds running along his body like a painting. 

He did his best to ignore these things, his heart aching at the very sight of them. He wanted them gone more than anything, they made him feel a certain set of shame when he saw them. He wasn't proud of his scars and wished for more than anything for them to be gone. He wanted the bad memories to be gone, he wanted Quinn to be gone, the abuse to be gone, but he knew as well as anyone else that you simply couldn't just wish anything away. 

As he replaced his former clothes with the loose fabrics he chose, shielding the scars on his skin, regaining a certain set of pride. 

He collapsed onto his old bed, having forgotten simply how comfortable his old bed was. He found himself sinking into the mattress, not even bothering to wrap himself in the bed sheets before sleep wrapped itself around him, to the point where he couldn't set himself free.


	40. The Elk

When he awoke he had felt as if a bear trap had snapped on his body. He felt stiff, and uncomfortable as he swung his legs over the bed, rubbing his eyes. His throat felt dry, and the bruise ached at the very touch.

He stood up, on weary legs, trudging to the hallway. He saw no light come from Beth's room, but still peaked half of his body in.

Beth sat upright, staring blankly at the closet door, fiddling with her thumbs. "Beth?" His voice was nearly a whisper.

She thrashed her head towards him, eyes wide and mouth open with unsaid words. "J-Josh?"

"What're you doing?" He asked.

"Just...thinking." She sighed.

"Oh really?" He attempted to bring a little light in the situation. "I thought for a moment there, you were checking for monsters in your closet."

He sat down at the foot of her bed, a comedic expression coming onto his face. "No, but seriously...what're you thinking about?"

"Do you think dad...that he loves her?" She asked.

"What do you mean? Mom?" He asked.

"Yeah, because sometimes, it's really hard to tell. And now that we really know...I've been wondering if it's all an...act."

"No, I...I think he loves mom." He tensed up. "But for different reasons that as to why he stays with...her."

"What're those reasons though?" She huffed. "Does he not love us? Are his own children undeserving of his love?" She bit her lip in frustration.

"Well I only think, he loves mom because of us, and because of all the times they've shared. While with her, I think that's only...physical." He shrugged, folding his arms across his chest. "But...I could be wrong."

"He still loves us, why does he do the things he does?"

"I...I don't know the answer to that." He furrowed his brow, feeling a little bit of emptiness grow inside of him. "But, maybe one day you'll get to ask him?"

She lowered her eyes to the ground. "Maybe."

He took his sister's hand and attempted a little grin. "Hey come on, don't get so dreary so fast. "

"What do you expect me to do?" She asked.

"Well, I'm going to try to make you happy of course!" He huffed with determination. "If anyone can do it, it's your dorky big brother right?"

She chuckled weakly, shaking her head. "Yeah...sure."

He helped her out of the bed, and lead her out towards the living room. "Do you want to wake up Sammy?" He asked.

A little bit of him didn't want to for a little bit there, she seemed incredibly tranquil wherein the last hours of them being awakened they had all been a mess. He even wanted to go back to sleep, and forget the incredible pain he felt riding up and down his back, and around his throat.

"No, don't bother." She headed towards the door. "Let's take a walk."

"But you haven't got any shoes on." He reminded her. "I don't have any shoes on!"

"Oh come on, Han would force you out anyways." She shrugged. "Besides, I promise we won't be out long."

He sighed, and followed alongside his sister, as she opened the door, beginning at an easy pace.

He found that the cold was far more gentle, even seeing specks of green among all the piles of snow.

"Do you want to tell Hannah?" She asked as she hopped off the elevated property to the edge of the street. "I think if anyone should know it's her."

He shrugged. "I guess...but I don't want her getting upset or anything. So if we can, let's try to avoid it maybe?"

"You know we won't be able to though, she'll ask more questions than we could ever imagine." Her voice lowered to that of a far more serious tone.

"What about the bruise though?" He huffed. "I can Han is going to beg to see it, but...I don't want the others being all worried sick about me." 

"I have some concealer." Beth smiled weakly. "We can use that, I bet it'll cover up most of the worst spots." 

Soft balls of snow began to fall from the sky, and onto their skin. Shingles started to fall from the roofs of other house, and the final leaves began to drift from the aching branches. 

"Do you remember the winter, dad got us the lodge?" Beth asked she opened up her palm, smiling sweetly when snowflakes decorated her hand. "How peaceful and quiet it was?" 

"Yeah..." He remembered seeing the grand wooden home for the first time, his father trying to find a way to make up for his mistakes. When they were there they were a family. "I love that place." 

Their father wasn't unfaithful, and he didn't lay a harmful hand upon them. 

They'd sit by the fire, all wrapped up tight in blankets telling tales or memories. Or explore the area, trying their best to spook one another. 

But what Josh remembered loving the most were the elk. Their large tremendous antlers, that they'd rub against trees or parade around the property proud of their coats. 

He recalled a time he came close to one, around eleven if he was correct. 

It wasn't a young buck or a tender doe, it was a fully grown with humongous and intricate antlers crawling from the top of its head. 

He had strayed from the path for merely a minute, as he had noticed their dark pelts, and merely had wished to observe their graceful movement. But one had caught his scent and inched closer, seemingly smashing their hooves into the thick inches of snow. 

Its eyes were a pool of inky blackness, with glittering stars among the dark shades of colors. He had watched the icy air eject from its snout, and the flicking of its ears as he attempted to pull back. 

It raised its head slightly, meeting his gaze. He was silent and didn't dare move. The elk grew closer, its great body making him appear tiny in comparison. It snorted, sending heat riding against his face. 

Even as they met eye to eye though the creature didn't move, so neither did he...well that was untrue, but he didn't move much.

He carefully reached out his hand, invitingly for it to gain a better scent. Its nose twitched, and eyes widened before slowly lowering their head into its palm. 

It had a damp nose, but soft and frigid to the touch. Yet his palm grew a sort of loving warmth. The elk was gentle, yet its body leaned forward with intent curiosity. 

It smelled like the pine trees around them, yet when he looked into its eyes and the scars on its body and even markings along its horns he saw that it even looked wise beyond its years. 

It had raised its head and looked at him with a hint of interest, but its ears swayed to the side. At the sound of a breaking twig, their attention was halted. The wind entwined itself in its heavy layers of fur and reflected the heavy, still tension throughout the rest of property. 

"Josh?" 

With that single sound, the elks stomped their hooves and twisted their bodies to go in the opposite direction. 

Yet the final one, with wisdom, burned into its eyes, turned its head towards him, letting out a heavy breath, the strength of the creature being emphasized as it puffed out its chest and flexed its shoulders. It didn't do much, simply stared at him, yet its eyes withheld a strange type of fortitude, even as it raised its hoof and stormed off along with the others. 

He had felt such strength in the warmth of his palm. 

And even now, it lingered, the elk still wandered beside him, even if merely in memory. 

"I really loved that place."


End file.
